Applying for honors class, need opinions on essays

[Kenna18155]

I'm applying for honors English next year, and could use some criticisms of my application essays. Please be as critical as possible, and point out ANYTHING that needs changed!


Question 1


What motivates you to take Honors English 10? How will you stay committed to the workload of the course? What part of the course will be challenging for you and why?






I am motivated to take Honors English 10 for multiple reasons. First of all, I have had a lifelong dream of getting into an Ivy League college, and I believe that taking this class can help me accomplish this goal. Furthermore, I would like to take a challenging course that can help me reach my full potential. To handle the workload involved in the course, I would be sure to utilize all the resources at my disposal, and take all the time necessary to complete assignments. On the other hand, the parts of the course that may be challenging to me are the speeches involved. While I often get good grades on vocal presentations, I am a somewhat shy individual and may struggle to confidently convey my message.


Question 2


What specific work habits do you have that will help you be successfully in Honors English 10?




I have many work habits that will help me succeed in Honors English 10. One example is my tendency to do homework in a timely fashion. While some students may choose to put their work off until the last minute, I often complete it ahead of time. In addition, I am very critical of my own work, and I will strive to provide well-written and well-edited essays and papers. Lastly, I am motivated to do an superb job throughout the course, and will make sure my work reflects that.




Question 3


What is your favorite book that you have been assigned by a teacher to read? What made it great? What is your favorite book outside of the school setting? What kind of writing do you enjoy?




The best book I have been assigned by a teacher to read is Mississippi Trial, 1955, and I enjoyed this book for a few reasons. First of all, I feel it captured the image of Southern racial inequality very well. It showcased many layers of segregation, prejudice, and the attitude toward African-Americans in the 1950s. In addition, I admire that it presented the information in a relatively unbiased point of view, allowing the reader to form their own opinions about the characters' actions. My favorite book that I read outside of school is The Giver, and I loved it because it explored the many aspects of a world without memory. It showed both the benefits and downsides of a society with no color, music, or beauty, and was overall a very interesting book. I enjoy both reading and writing stories with creative and fantastical elements, and I find them very entertaining.

 

[Heart_Roxie]

I think you've done a really good job in answering the questions! I will say as constructive criticism, the listing isn't always necessary. As in "first of all; furthermore; etc..."

Example:
Instead of: I am motivated to take Honors English 10 for multiple reasons. First of all, I have had a lifelong dream of getting into an Ivy League college, and I believe that taking this class can help me accomplish this goal.
Use something like: I am motivated to take the class because I have had a lifelong dream...
(Obviously use the correct wording you have!) Just condense it. It feels more like you're answering a question formally, but not rigidly. Just be sure to reword the remainder of the question as well if you do Change it!
Also, the word tendency in the second question seems out of place. Maybe say you consistently do your homework ahead of time?
I do want to say you've done a great job! I'm sure you'll do well in the class!

 

[Kenna18155]

I actually submitted the essays about a week or two ago (with a few edits), and I made it into the class!

 

[Heart_Roxie]

Oh awesome! Congrats!!
(I didn't see the dates on the post! But it was still near the top! Lol)