Plumpuff,
I'm so sad for you and for you loss. I also lost a pig suddenly and unexpectedly not so very long ago in a freak accident. It was helpful for me to have the one remaining pig so we could keep each other company. You may not have another pig? You didn't do anything wrong, pigs are just this way as others here have said. Getting over the loss in the early hours and days can be really difficult. If you are struggling, you might be open to trying this as an active way to engage in your process and honor the life and memory of Chai. You can get a candle, maybe some incense and/or anything else that is meaningful to you, maybe something that makes you think of Chai. You can just take some time sit with the thoughts, feelings and memories and just let that wash over you, maybe set up a special little place or corner to do this work of grieving for as long as you need to. There's no right or wrong in this only your great love for you little pig. You can just let that be and feel all of that as much as you need to until you feel better. You'll know when that is; you can trust yourself and your experience of the loss of Chai.
lots of love to you,
- karen