Where People & Piggies Thrive

Newbie or Guinea Guru? Popcorn in!

Register for free to enjoy the full benefits.
Find out more about the NEW, drastically improved site and forum!

Register

What Would you do in this situation. Re: an ex friend

RodentsRus

Cavy Star, Video Contest Winner
Cavy Slave
Joined
Jul 1, 2008
Messages
824
Well I'm not sure what I should do. Here it is. I have a friend that I have not spoken to me in over a year. My B/f and I were there for his dad when he was very ill, we tried to do everything we could. When his dad passed away he dropped me just like that. I knew him for over 20 year. None of his so called true friends were there like I was , since day 1. Now he calls my mom up out of the blue and says he has heart disease and need to get a operation. My mother says I should call him, but he didn't ask for me and he knows my number hasn't changed..When he left he changed his number and didnt give iit to me.
 
He might have been depressed when he lost his dad. He probably feels really bad that he hasn't been in touch and that might be why he called your mom. What kind of relationship did you have before that? I think your answer might be to think about how things were before his dad got sick. People grieve in different ways so I wouldn't hold the way he acted when his dad died against him. At the end you said "when he left." Did he move away? Being there for someone doesn't mean they owe you something in return. I'd call him if you were good friends before his dad died.
 
If he didn't ask for you, I wouldn't feel obliged to call him. Can you forgive him for dropping you after his father died or is it too painful? Although your mom is well-meaning, the situation between you and him doesn't involve her; she doesn't understand what it felt like and you shouldn't be guilt-tripped into doing anything if you're not ready. But it is worth thinking about. Forgiving someone for their actions is not for them, it's for you. I didn't believe this until I watched a very intense documentary about forgiveness.

Either way, you reaching out to him should come from a place of no expectation, some caution, but complete forgiveness. And it shouldn't be about your mom pushing you to do so. Until then, I'd stay away. A person with a chronic illness needs to concentrate on his condition. If your need to resolve the past is more important than the present circumstance, I'd do you both a favor and let it alone. But if you can reach out to him with no expectation - truly no expectation - I'd give it a shot. In any case, no one should judge you for how you feel and what you do with those feelings.
 
Status
This thread has been closed due to inactivity. You can create a new thread to discuss this topic.

Similar threads

Extraterrestrial
Replies
12
Views
2K
novlin
N
Guinea Pig Papa
Replies
1
Views
707
ItsaZoo
ItsaZoo
P
Replies
2
Views
844
spy9doc
spy9doc
ThreePiggiesInATub
Replies
3
Views
818
ThreePiggiesInATub
ThreePiggiesInATub
Top