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Blog putting stuff between me and the mud

Blog entry from old forum

jacqueline

Well-known Member
Cavy Slave
Joined
Nov 26, 2011
Posts
847
Joined
Nov 26, 2011
Messages
847
I get together with some friends most friday mornings and we talk about our spiritual journey, and where we are and how things are going. the group has decided to discuss a particular book, and so for the past several months we’ve done that. I however am not a big fan. since they expect me to “lead” the group, being the advanced spiritual guru that I am (that was sarcasm folks), I go along and do my best to follow the wishes of the group.

last week was particularly difficult for me to stay quiet. it’s agreed that NO ONE can fully understand what the writer is saying, but because the authors claim the book was written by miraculously guided powers, it MUST be “True” and so our little group insists on struggle their way through this. they twist themselves around, talking about the grammar of the sentences any way they can to try and simply understand what the author is saying. and then, there are the exercises to follow throughout the week

I ask, and they tell me they find the book helpful. I think they think that the harder something is to understand the closer to “Truth” it must be.

I mostly sat still. all I kept thinking was that this was futile. all this energy spent in trying to figure out what was being said in this book. the ultimate aim of the book was to be able to “see” the world for what it truly was/is. to clear away all pretense and falsehood, to get rid of “Ego”, to remove “judgment”, etc. most are you are probably familiar with similar teachings.

I found my mind drifting to my early mornings with my boys Dak and Dash. holding them on my lap while I syringe fed them their breakfast. I can watch as the sky lightens and the sun starts to shine through my curtains. the overhead fan moves the cool air gently around us. I stroke their fur softly and I can hear their teeth grind at the mash I’ve made for them.

it’s quiet. my mind is still and focused on them. I breathe.

trying to calm your mind, and get rid of all the unnecessary thinking and worrying we do, by thinking and worrying and trying to figure out someone else’s thinking seems to me like when your wheels get stuck in a snow bank, or in mud. the harder you press on the gas pedal, the faster your wheels spin, the deeper you dig yourself in.

stop. perhaps place something between you and the mud. go back and press slowly on the gas. maybe rock back and forth a few times. slowly, slowly. . .

a few intentional moments in the morning touching and feeding Dak, feeling the air around me, breathing in and out – just by passes all the need to figure stuff out. what’s to figure out? not a thing.

Dak and Dash come between me and the mud

right now, the boys are good, for those of you who are wondering. they mostly love their extra feedings, though some days they don’t. I listen to them and don’t force things. their toes are pretty sensitive, so cleaning their feet when they get their inevitable poop shoes is tricky and unpleasant.

their management of their teeth is the biggest challenge right now. trimming them with the dremel hasn’t worked – it’s too slow and cumbersome and uncomfortable for them. I’m sooo grateful for the on-line community over in the UK – someone over there who clearly is VERY experienced with pigs and their teeth has offered to buy the appropriate tool, called a “rongeur” and ship it to me. here in the USA, I can’t seem to find one. someone even posted a video of how she trims her pig’s teeth (her pig also has LWS). she has a great web site called “Fairy Magic Me” you should check it out !

The communication between Dak, Dash and myself is improving. i tap the bottom of the cage when I put out veggies or pellets. they put their noses in the air and wheek when they want treats. I blow gently on them before I pick them up so they’re not so startled. when I get home, after I greet my other boys, I go over and lean close and blow them a little hello too.

maybe they can’t hear or see, but they are happy. the other day, I couldn't believe what i saw, and so I looked very carefully and quite long, but Dak was actually popcorning!! who knew!

I’ve moved past the “oh my G-d – just look at them!!” stage and have moved into the truer and more contented version. I watch them, and how contented they are, and their contentment reminds me that there is peace to be had in the simple breathing in and breathing out. I see how good fresh green pepper tastes, and how exciting it is to smell fresh hay. they are patient with me, complicated human being i "think" i am.

maybe that philosopher had it wrong. maybe "i think therefore i am" isn't as spot on as we thought. all too often, i think and i forget who i am. i spin my wheels in the mud. thinking isn't the thing that's going to tell me who or what i am.

watching Dak popcorn, and listening to Dash chew on fresh green pepper - saying "yes" this morning to putting Dak and Dash between me and the mud of life - that's what will lead me where my heart wants me to go.

and saying "yes" tomorrow, and he next day and the next. . .

i still have so much to learn from them
 
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