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I'm really tired of this forum...

kapplepig

Well-known Member
Cavy Slave
Joined
Jan 18, 2012
Messages
56
I joined this forum hoping to find answers to some of my questions about guinea pigs, as well as to help others with their questions. Instead I have been repeatedly disappointed with the various members of this forum who pretend to know everything there is to know about GPs. I have seen new members attacked to the point of wishing they could delete their accounts, and this absolutely disgusts me. Instead of handling inexperienced pig owners with respect and educated guidance, most newbies who make any sort of mistake w/ their pigs are immediately attacked and insulted.

I've stuck around in the hope that I would find a few caring members who were actually knowledgeable about GPs, but instead I've just been flabbergasted again and again by the hateful know-it-alls who use this site.
 
Lead by example? You can't change what other people do.
 
I don't actually see snotty, know-it-all posts very often. I've also never have participated in a forum without some tiffs. Whether it be a forum about makeup/skincare, video games, animal care. You can't just have an online community of people from different ages and backgrounds and expect things to be pleasant 100% of the time. That's completely unrealistic.

Maybe it's because I'm 21 and have been on the internet for awhile, but this forum seems pretty tame to me. I also think more people get help here than not. Always have to work on being better, but this forum has made leaps and bounds since I first joined. I quite like it.

Make sure you don't read too heavily into how people give their advice. Someone's I get annoyed by how people word things too, but then you have to take a step back and ponder whether that person meant it that way. Not everyone has a talent for translating thoughts and feelings into writing.
 
Do you have examples?

I do know it gets frustrating to be told the same thing seemingly over and over again; I know it's frustrating to be told to basically remodel your room or house to make room for a larger cage; I know it's frustrating when someone comes along asking for advice and is told to rehome the pig. Still, I'd like to see specific examples. What you perceive as a problem and what I perceive as a problem is different, so to make sure we're comparing apples to apples, please share.

Furthermore, the things you tend to see people get very upset about are cage space, adoption versus buying, and keeping pigs as singles versus pairs. Those are things we, as a community, tend to feel very strongly about. Coming along looking for information is met with open arms. Coming along fishing to start a fight and explain why those things aren't necessary or why it's better to buy than adopt tend to ruffle feathers quite easily and very quickly.

People come here having made mistakes - no problem, we all do. But to perpetuate those mistakes and pretend that they are acceptable for fear of someone taking something personally is not going to fly here. Frankly, when it comes to pet care and improving that care, people NEED to take it personally. If you don't have a personal investment in your pets, it's more likely than not that the pets will suffer in some way.

Furthermore, there's something to be learned from your experience, even if you yourself wish to close yourself off from that potential knowledge by getting defensive and being hurt by a comment or comments made. So although we try very hard to be polite and friendly, we tend to draw the line at placating and hushing up care tactics or techniques that we know need to be corrected for the benefit of the pet.

If you take that personally and wish to leave in a huff, that's entirely up to you. Also, realize the role YOU play in interpretation and shaping the direction of a thread. You can't assume everyone means the things they type in a negative or condescending way. You can't assume they don't. Realistically, at the end of the day, this is an internet forum and the role it plays in your life is entirely up to you. If you are so offended by something that you need to complain about it and get upset to the point of leaving or starting a debate on it, it might be time for you to take a step back and a deep breath. The information will still be here waiting when you've cooled off and calm down and come back another day.
 
I do agree there is a few know it alls on here, but you just have to ignore them. Or try see good through what may be snotty.

Like you've been taught in the real world, don't let the bad guys get you down, when you are surrounded by the good :)
 
I agree with Paula. It may simply be your perception of what is "attacked and insulted".

This is a forum full of people with various levels of experience with guinea pigs. When asked a question, people are going to answer based on what has been found to be the most effective level of care for guinea pigs. What they won't do is sugar-coat answers to coddle people if it will adversely affect the life and health of a guinea pig.

Proper guinea pig care is first and foremost the priority of the members here. If it comes across as "pushy" or "know-it-all", so be it. We aren't here to pat someone on the back for sub-par care just so it doesn't hurt their feelings.

So you joined this forum in January and in five months, you can honestly say that all you've seen is people attacking and insulting other people?? You've never seen good solid advice given? You've never seen people welcomed to the forum in a warm friendly way?

I don't think the members here would ever consider themselves "know-it-alls". We are people who have had pigs and have experience in caring for them. And because of that experience, we are knowledgeable enough to answer questions that people have about their care. We have also learned from asking questions. That's why a forum like this is so great! It's an open forum to ask questions and get answers.

Even guinea pig owners with years of experience do sometimes come across a situation with their pig that they've never dealt with before. They can come and ask questions about it. There may just be someone on here that HAS experience with that situation and can relay information about it to help that person.

I agree with Paula that although it might make you feel better to lambast the site with your diatribe about know-it-alls and insults and personal attacks, providing specific examples will give insight as to the nature of the issue and whether it's a real issue or simply a perception issue.
 
There were times when I first joined that I wanted to go off in a huff, and in fact I lurked for about 2 months before I joined, because I was nervous. I joined in on a thread about my concerns, and then actually felt worse for awhile, because half of those participating on the thread considered my "sensitivities" to be, well, too sensitive. But others agreed. But I shook it off, put on some extra armor, and have found info here that has saved one of my pigs and also I've met some really cool people who really love piggies and other furbabies. A couple of whom I thought were a little snippy at first. But they're great.

I think what I find disconcerting about your post is that right out of the gate, after you joined, you posted in the Kitchen that you deliberately bred your piggy Cayenne, and then were surprised when people jumped on you, and you asked that your thread be deleted. It's pretty obvious that this forum is anti-breeding. It's hard enough when you accidentally end up with a pregnant pig. But actually saying that you are breeding to keep your pig's pelvis open? That is surprising.

At the same time, I thought it was cool that you took up the issue with the missexing of the pigs at Pet Supermarket with their corporate office.

We each have things we can offer, and I *know* that I grate on some folks. Sometimes it's how I phrase things, and other times it's because I really, really disagree with them. But they are welcome to push back. And when I realize that I'm beating my head on a brick wall, I stop reading the thread.

And if you see someone that is being really off-base or unfair to you, call them on it right then. If they are being truly out of line, I think the mods will step in, even if you don't see it.
 
Yes, you get know-it-all's everywhere sad to say. But it is my choice if I take their feedback to heart. I also have to remind myself that I can not see the poster's face nor hear their voice.
Maybe the person is being kind and sincerely cares but the words don't seem to portray that. Again, my choice.
 
The only thing I find annoying,on any forum,besides the "snotty" members are when people seem to not read your post and ask you questions you already answered and repeat just about everything you already said lol. But you get that everywhere whether it's the real world or the online world. I also agree that sometimes just like on instant messaging or text messaging you can not gauge emotions through text.
One thing anyone should try and remember too is that just like people tend to not appreciate being told how to raise their children they may or may not appreciate being told how to raise their guinea pig if they didn't ask for advice and your personal opinion should always be voiced in a respectable manner. Also, I do not know anyone personally on this site. So it would be silly for me to let complete strangers ruin my day.
 
The only thing I find annoying,on any forum,besides the "snotty" members are when people seem to not read your post and ask you questions you already answered and repeat just about everything you already said lol. But you get that everywhere whether it's the real world or the online world. I also agree that sometimes just like on instant messaging or text messaging you can not gauge emotions through text.
One thing anyone should try and remember too is that just like people tend to not appreciate being told how to raise their children they may or may not appreciate being told how to raise their guinea pig if they didn't ask for advice and your personal opinion should always be voiced in a respectable manner. Also, I do not know anyone personally on this site. So it would be silly for me to let complete strangers ruin my day.

I think that's a cute comparison between kids and guinea pigs. I'm sure there are a lot of people on here who are just as enthusiastic about their pigs as they are about the other members of their family. I agree that you really can't gauge emotions from a post because everyone has different styles of writing. I try not to read into what is being written for that reason.
 
Also I feel that just as us "newbies" should not assume those of you that have more experience with pigs know everything there is to know, more experienced owners should not assume us "newbies" don't know anything. After all, we are on the internet where all the advice and research and boat loads of information is right at our fingertips and most likely people have already done research and are just mainly looking for reassurance or wish to learn from others trial and error or experiences. But I also understand it puts people at ease to let others know what they know. I am done gabbing now and I hope I did not offend any experienced owners because that was not my intention.
 
I am basically disappointed that members let their emotions get in the way of properly educating new owners, which makes newbies feel like they will find no useful information here and that it is a site filled with angry, hateful people.
 
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Most of us will admit that we do not "Know all there is to know about guinea pigs" In fact, I admit that I have a longggggg way to go to get to that, and I don't think there is anyone in the world who knows all there is to know about guinea pigs. Though we do spend hours on end learning all we can learn about guinea pigs, and tons of money, time effort, trying to make their lives as great as we can. I do agree with your one point though, some members are to tough when talking to a new person and explain what they are doing wrong. Though it's mostly because all of us just reallllly love guinea pigs, and when we see a guinea pig being kept in a really small cage, or being feed nuts that they can choke on, we just really feel the need to help that pig, and kind of lose sight of how the owner will take a post saying "Ok you need to change this, this, this, and this"
 
To be honest, yes. There can be some off-putting behavior on this site. But you have to understand that there is always a reason for it. Look further into that next time you see it. Think to yourself, why would they say that? The answer certainly isn't going to be because they are mean know-it-all's who want to hurt you. They just want what's best for your pig(s).

Now, I have a question. What was the point of this thread? To start a fight? I certainly hope not, that would make you what they call an internet troll. To get us to apologize to you for absolutely no reason whatsoever? Well, don't hold your breath. Why was this thread started?

P.S. :
and that it is a site filled with angry, hateful people.
:D is all I have to say to that.
 
I am basically disappointed that members let their emotions get in the way of properly educating new owners, which makes newbies feel like they will find no useful information here and that it is a site filled with angry, hateful people.

Again, specific examples of this would be helpful. What you perceive as members letting their emotions get in the way, might just be the passion that people have for wanting guinea pigs to have the best quality care possible.

The fact that you referred to members here as "angry hateful people" leads me to believe that you are speaking from a place of anger yourself.

I wouldn't say anyone here is angry. Do we get frustrated when someone asks the same question numerous times, receiving the same or similar answer from multiple people but continues to ask because the answer received isn't what they want to hear? Sure.

And "hateful"? Come on now, you don't think you are overstating just a little???

We will need to see examples of this supposed "anger" and "hate" if you are going to continue to browbeat for the sake of venting.
 
I am basically disappointed that members let their emotions get in the way of properly educating new owners, which makes newbies feel like they will find no useful information here and that it is a site filled with angry, hateful people.

We were all newbies once.
When I first started I didnt feel at all this way. People were very helpful and polite.
Maybe you just ran into someone who wasn't haveing a pleasent day.
 
After all, we are on the internet where all the advice and research and boat loads of information is right at our fingertips and most likely people have already done research and are just mainly looking for reassurance or wish to learn from others trial and error or experiences.
That's a slippery slope because often, people looking for reassurance are looking for reassurance on things they're doing that are wrong. For a community that prides itself on proper care of guinea pigs, that's a mighty tall order.

I am basically disappointed that members let their emotions get in the way of properly educating new owners, which makes newbies feel like they will find no useful information here and that it is a site filled with angry, hateful people.
Speak for yourself (which you obviously are). Sweeping generalizations that all newbies find this site and its members "angry and hateful" is YOUR perception and is as problematic as the generalization that everyone here who has achieved "Cavy Slave" status knows "all there is to know" about guinea pigs.

If you have a problem, assume some responsibility for yourself and address it directly. If you just want to complain in vague and general terms without ever addressing any specific concern and seeing the pattern you are concerned about continue, carry on.
 
I am basically disappointed that members let their emotions get in the way of properly educating new owners, which makes newbies feel like they will find no useful information here and that it is a site filled with angry, hateful people.
Can you give examples of posts that you feel were made by angry hateful people? That would help a lot so we would have a better understanding of what behavior you are talking about.
 
I am basically disappointed that members let their emotions get in the way of properly educating new owners, which makes newbies feel like they will find no useful information here and that it is a site filled with angry, hateful people.
I'm a newbie, and I don't feel like this at all. People here are very kind and welcoming, happy to share information... Do you have specific examples of what you've described?
 
Frustrating situation 1: (which is what would leave a 'know it all' bad taste in the op's mouth)

Poster 1: "hi I'm new here, I just bought my piggy from petco! Look at the piggy! (posts picture of piggy in tiny petstore cage) Do you think the cage is too small?"

Poster 2: "Welcome!!! congrats on your new friend! He/She looks adorable! As to your question, yes that cage is too small. We encourage you to look at getting at least a 2x4 cube grid and coroplast cage, and another pig to keep your piggy happy!"

Poster 1: Oh I can't do that! I don't have enough room in my bedroom for it! Not only that my mom won't let me get another guinea pig..

Poster 2: well that's a shame, you really should get more room for your piggy, since he/she is pretty much living in a glorified litter box right now..he/she will be much happier and healthier in the long run

ad nauseum. The whole thread goes on and on and on like that. Poster 1 asking a question, subsequent posters answering question with facts, then Poster 1 coming up with reasons and excuses as to why the solutions that the subsequent posters offer are not going to work.

I LOVE this forum...I have not had much in the way of grief here. Funny thing, when I said I might have to rehome my baby boys, the members here bounced off SO MANY ideas on my head to help me come up with solutions on how to keep the boys. After a few days of playing Grid and Coro jenga, we pieced together a solution to keep ALL our babies! Even the two we didn't expect/ask for.

The whole crux of our frustration is when people come and ask for advice, then poohpooh it and come up with excuse after excuse as to why they can't follow it. (Notes the many I gotta keep my pig outdoors! threads.)
 
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