I took Oreo off of all of his medicine late last night and he is appearing to be a little more like himself. Medicine does strange things to me, and I know it can have the same effect on animals too.
Late last night I layed in bed looking at the cage, and just thought, thought real hard. I am a firm believer in all things happen for a reason, and I think Oreo got sick yesterday for a reason. Anyways it made me see for a brief moment that maybe I need to reconsider my thinking. I know that many can forcefully hand feed for long periods of time and have the strength within the themselves to feel that they are doing what is in the best interest of their animal. For myself, I view this a bit differently. I can not imagine him looking at me the way he did yesterday for weeks on end, freaking out everytime I put my hand into his cage, and dreading the times I have to nurse him back to health. I want to know and rememebr the Oreo "I know" and have totally adored for the past five years, the one who loves me, enjoys our times together, and eagerly wants me to pet the top of his head.
Today he somewhat is "his old self" I spent a lot of time with him this morning. I know he is in pain without his medicine, I can see it in his eyes. We talked together for a while and I know in my heart now I have made the right decision to let my little boy go. It is not right for me to change who he is, and I know he does not want that either. He has lived a good life, one that many pigs would love to have and even though he may have "life left in him" I am not sure and can not be guarenteed that the life he lives after the surgery will be the life he knew before he became ill. This hurts so much, but I know it is time and the best thing for Oreo. I have to let him go, and let him do it with pride.