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Blech, pet store cage drama

sillylittle

Well-known Member
Cavy Slave
Joined
Dec 18, 2011
Messages
106
So, backstory, I don't have any guineas yet, but as a "wonderful" Christmas gift, my boyfriend got me a cage from a pet store (his reasoning being that it was big enough, being the biggest in the store; C&C cages look shoddy; many guinea pigs are raised in cages like this; etc) and got extremely hurt and offended when I (admittedly insensitively) told him it wasn't a big enough cage for them, and that I was looking forward to having a C&C cage for them. Another factor has been that he got into a car accident the night he bought it, and (because this cage cost $100) I'd rather he spent the money on fixing the car. Well, the gift rejection didn't go over well, and we've had two fights about it now, where he admitted that guinea pigs are stupid, he doesn't like the idea, and now he even hates the idea and hates when I talk about them. He's extremely stubborn, and I don't know how he will react when I do get them (continuing to hate them or accepting them and learning about them) but I just don't know how to smooth this over. I was wondering if anyone else has a significant other who admittedly HATES guinea pigs, and any advice on how they made things better for their significant, and what you could suggest for my situation?
 
I don't think your boyfriend treats you very well.
 
I have been married for 5 years. My husband does not like my piggies. He loves me and knows my love for animals. I now have 3 piggies and he has no problem with them. He just doesn't have anything to do with them, which is fine with me. He just wants me to be happy and sees how much I love my piggies...and also our 3 doggies! :)
 
He has had his feelings hurt. He went out into the world, got a present for you, spent some money on it, got in an accident getting it and then you just shot a hole right in his ego by insensitively rejecting it. He was probably expecting you to be happy and gushy about him getting the biggest cage, I'm assuming you have been talking about guinea pigs and he has been listening enough to know you want some his pride is bruised and he is disappointed. Now he is acting like a child who has had their feelings hurt by calling guinea pigs stupid and saying he hates them when he really has no idea at all. He's saying those things because he is angry at you and he knows, subconsciously or consciously, that those type of words will tick you off, thus starting a fight or keeping one going.

You get through it by talking about it. Remember though the issue isn't guinea pigs it is he got his feelings hurt. Guinea pigs just happens to be the topic on which they were hurt. I know it can be hard since he is picking for a fight to spend his anger on but don't rise to his bate. Stay on topic, stay calm, bite your lip if you have to, don't let him hurt your feelings back either because it sounds like he may try.

Though I do agree with Pinky, your boyfriend isn't treating you very well right now at all but it also sounds like you didn't treat him very well either. If you two can't talk this through and can't come to an adult agreement this issue will come up again and again every time you have a fight or disagreement. I suggest finding a peaceful ending that makes both of your satisfied and put the issue to bed.

Best of luck.
 
He has had his feelings hurt. He went out into the world, got a present for you, spent some money on it, got in an accident getting it and then you just shot a hole right in his ego by insensitively rejecting it. He was probably expecting you to be happy and gushy about him getting the biggest cage, I'm assuming you have been talking about guinea pigs and he has been listening enough to know you want some his pride is bruised and he is disappointed. Now he is acting like a child who has had their feelings hurt by calling guinea pigs stupid and saying he hates them when he really has no idea at all. He's saying those things because he is angry at you and he knows, subconsciously or consciously, that those type of words will tick you off, thus starting a fight or keeping one going.

You get through it by talking about it. Remember though the issue isn't guinea pigs it is he got his feelings hurt. Guinea pigs just happens to be the topic on which they were hurt. I know it can be hard since he is picking for a fight to spend his anger on but don't rise to his bate. Stay on topic, stay calm, bite your lip if you have to, don't let him hurt your feelings back either because it sounds like he may try.

Though I do agree with Pinky, your boyfriend isn't treating you very well right now at all but it also sounds like you didn't treat him very well either. If you two can't talk this through and can't come to an adult agreement this issue will come up again and again every time you have a fight or disagreement. I suggest finding a peaceful ending that makes both of your satisfied and put the issue to bed.

Best of luck.

Fantastic answer!
 
I know, I was kinda a poop about it, but I just didn't know how to react, I thought he understood how much I was looking forward to building the cage. And I was going on and on about how I found all the materials to do it for under $40, and would appreciate his help with building it.
Although he has explained how, to him, because we don't live together, he saw getting the cage as his opportunity to support and help me in this, despite not fully understanding my draw to guinea pigs. We have both aired our views on what happened, and he's taken the cage back so he can return it (and gotten the final quote on his car, over $700 :sad:). Hopefully, once I get the piggies, he will realize how much they mean to me, and he will interact with them and learn about them, and grow to love them (or at least tolerate them).
 
It sounds like you are on the right track! If he wants to help maybe he could buy some grids instead, go with you to pick up the piggies or buy some of the veggies? He cannot, though, keep walking around saying guinea pigs suck. That is disrespectful to you and rude. If the issue truly is solved he will suck up his opinions on guinea pigs because he likes/loves you and because you two do not live together and they will have very little impact on his life personally. I hope things continue to do well for the two of you.
 
Wow, what great advice Inle_Rabbit gave you ! :cool:

I am glad you were able to talk things out with your boyfriend, because in any healthy relationship, developing good communication skills takes tons of practice, and tons of successes/failures. When we make communication a top priority, and give it the "time" it deserves, with our loved ones....the deeper and more fulfilling that relationship will be.❤️

Communication skills I think, are like the "roots" of a relationship, without establishing strong roots, the relationship becomes weak...and unable to grow.
 
Oh my! Emotions run so high around the Holidays and especially when things go wrong (the wreck.) I'm so glad he took the cage back --and I'm happy you had your info to get the correct cage for your piggys! Nice work lady!

Once he meets them and sees how freaking awesome they are he will understand why you care so much! My guy didn't care a flip about our first piggy when I got her but he feel HARD!! My advise: just wait for him to collapse into piggy love!! :)
 
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