Judging others?

[asnnbrg]

I think your rainbow bangs are gorgeous! They remind me of this: (broken link removed)

I don't have time anymore for the upkeep on that kind of look, but I do think the rainbow hair look is just so, so pretty.

Here's my hair, just bright red, lol. It's naturally blonde, like my kids', but that's just boring.

 

[madelineelaine]

I voice my opinion too. Now it just makes me mad, and sometimes I can't control it. BPD things haha.

Like there was an 'insult' people around school were using, 'That's so Downs' or 'dude you have down syndrome'

And I don't know how many people I've gone off on it for. I did a homophobia presentation in one of my classes and my teacher argued with me that sexual orientation is a choice. I don't remember the mark I got, and frankly I don't care. That was wrong of her.

I live right near Toronto, Ontario. I was reading online and apparently we are the most open gay community ever, first to legalize gay marriage. We even have a whole neighbour hood devoted to 'gay' people. I truly hate using that word, but it fits sometimes.

Toronto is also the most multicultural, and yes the above is true, but that doesn't mean we are the lowest in homophobia or racism.

There are times when I feel uber hopeless, but sometimes I just sit there and think yanno what? It doesn't really matter. I don't agree with it, and many others don't either.

We went on a grade 11 retreat down to the 'gay' community in Toronto to learn about homelessness and things, and people were still being jerks about it. "Don't touch the aids memorial, you'll get aids" "don't touch any homosexual, you'll get aids" And it just baffles me how people are so narrow minded and frankly, stupid.

 

[asnnbrg]

Oh. I would have gone OFF. I don't deal well with people who use "retarded" as an insult, either. So unnecessary and cruel.

As for gay as an insult, I treat that the same as men who use "you're such a girl!" as an insult. Why is it insulting to be gay or female? It's not. So really? Get over yourself and expand your knowledge because if that's the best insult you can come up with, I feel sorry for you.

(And then I quickly summon up Shakespearean Insults Generator and find a good insult that will leave the offender slack jawed and speechless, like "Thou shameless cook-pated vassal!")

 

[Carissa6729]

I think your rainbow bangs are gorgeous! They remind me of this: (broken link removed)

I don't have time anymore for the upkeep on that kind of look, but I do think the rainbow hair look is just so, so pretty.

Here's my hair, just bright red, lol. It's naturally blonde, like my kids', but that's just boring.

View attachment 41456

You've seriously got some gorgeous eyes there woman!

 

[pinky]

@YourSoJelly Yeah, see I'm surrounded my people with mental disorders. I feel like maybe I'm slightly desensitized by it. My brother has aspbergers syndrome, my best friend has an eating disorder, another friend has an ed, another friend has an ed, depression, my other best friend has borderline personality disorder, ALL are suicidal. I mean at any given moment I have people talking to me, and as much as I want to be there for them it's hard on me too, yanno? Like it would be easy if I just had one person talking to me, but my support system leans on me for support too, if that makes sense.

@pinky sometimes they don't want help, and sometimes help doesn't work. I was forced into treatment in may 2012 and I'm still not fully co operating because it's scary, and I just can't do what they're asking me to.

One thing I want to add is that these addictions kind of differ too, like an alcoholic can avoid bars and create an alcohol free house, but someone who cuts or has an eating disorder is essentially screwed, it's impossible to avoid.

You are absolutely right that there are more means to help alcoholics since a substance is involved. I come from a family with a history of alcoholism so I have a very good understanding of what's involved. There is also someone very dear to us who cut himself and attempted suicide about 20 years ago. He was later diagnosed as bipolar. He was a young adult and he finally admitted himself to a treatment center. From what I can recall, he was there for quite some time. Once he realized he needed meds, he slowly recovered. He got married a few years ago. He's one of the kindest and nicest people I have ever known so it was heartbreaking to see him and his family go through that. I think people who struggle with any emotional pain or duress due to anything do so much better if they have the support of family or friends and a treatment program streamlined to their needs.

 

[YourSoJelly]

@madelineelaine, that makes sense. My friends say that I have loud mouth Syndrome because I tend to start screaming at people when they don't shut up and i do or say things without thinking. I also have slight anger problems and I have learned to control both to where now my screaming has turned into incessant talking that's really fast and I won't breathe. The anger thing is that i figured out my body gives me clues. For instance, when I get really mad or frustrated, the bottoms of my feet tingle and I need to scrunch my toes for a few seconds and hold my breath. That helps a little but my friends say that it's helping a lot.

 

[madelineelaine]

I wouldn't say I have anger problems so to speak, I just don't tolerate incompetent idiots who are offensive and misinformed.

 

[YourSoJelly]

Yup. That's all I get angry about. I also have a little OCD I think. I also think I have some ADHD or something like that.

 

[MissJean]

People like to tease people for silly reasons. It might surprise some people to know that I was bullied severely for being *thin*. Yes, That is right, bullied for being slender. We always think it's the obese women who get all the body shaming.

You see, it doesn't really matter what you look like. You're going to have people be jerks to you in school. If your boobs are small, you'll get teased for that. If your boobs are big, you'll get teased for that. Overweight? Slender? It doesn't matter.

Oh, and let's say you look like a cover model for Vogue. Surely *they* wouldn't get harassed! Wrong. People will gossip that you're mean, slutty, or a tease. Not even "normal" pretty people can escape from bullying.

I was part of the gothic/rocker group in High School and they were some of the most hypocritical people I've been around. They would always get mad at the populars for being so harshly judgmental, but they themselves would also judge harshly! They didn't seem to get the irony of it all.

When I was 14-16 I also gave up some things I loved doing because I felt pressured not to do them. I'm 22 and LOVE playing Pokemon. I gave it up in High School because I figured I was too old and would be bullied for it. But funny story, I caught the popular guys trading Pokemon cards one day. They were trying to be sneaky about it. I got to know one of them and he turned out to be a complete in-closet nerd. He even played tabletop D&D. I felt so stupid for giving something I enjoyed up.

None of the things described in this thread are not normal. It's normal to be gay/bi, it's normal to want to play around with funky hair color, it's normal to do artistic things with your body. Alternative encompasses hipsters, nerds, geeks, goths, emos, scene kids, rockers, etc. Alternative describes more people than anything else. Alternative isn't different, it's an umbrella term for most subcultures. So many people are like this and it's incredible how bullying can make us feel as though we are part of a select few. It blinds us.

 

[Okiesmokes]

Now, I'm not a saint either. And I wont pretend to be.
In middle school the saying 'that's gay' became very popular and not thinking anything of it, I would find myself using the expression as well. It wasn't until the next year that I realized how idiotic it really was and I never used it again. I hadn't thought about the fact that it put an entire group of people down but I'm glad I eventually came to my senses. You live, you learn. Well, some people do.
I just don't understand the people who come up with these things in the first place. How could anyone think of themselves as better than any other person?
I also catch myself quietly thinking something bad about a stranger every once in awhile. I feel like it's human nature to pick out odd things about other people, but that doesn't mean you should voice those thoughts or belittle the person for it. I usually scold myself when I catch myself thinking things like that. Though it is very rare, I still strive to be a better person.

I just wish everyone did.


@asnnbrg I no longer have the time or patience for it either. I use to dye it different style every two weeks. Now I just couldn't be bothered. Though, I do dye my entire hair brown, but that's much simpler. I love your bright red hair by the way!

 

[madelineelaine]

IDK I'm diagnosed with a bunch of stuff, but it's whatever. I'm tired of labels.

 

[YourSoJelly]

It's really ironic because I told my best friend that if everyone on GPC was a school, it would be perfect! There is one thing that keeps us all linked together and that is the unyielding love for those fluffy balls of fur we call piggies! To bad world isn't that kind...

 

[RubyRain]

I look pretty "white bread" with no tats or piercings or bold fashion statements and most would peg me for a typical soccer mom (though none of my kids play soccer!). But once people get to know me then they think I'm weird It's like they accept me into their "fold" and then wrinkle their nose at me.
We homeschool, practice a lot of natural parenting things like extended breastfeeding (you still nurse your 2 yr old-gross! is common), co-sleeping, home birth, thrift shopping, alternative medicine, think outside the box, etc. These things make me fall outside the "norm."
Then they hear about my "hobby" with guinea pigs and volunteering at a small animal shelter and really think I'm strange. LOL

Somebody once said "that's not a hobby, that's just weird" regarding my guinea pigs and hamsters. I responded "yea, those scrapbookers are really whacked out with all their stickers and scissors huh?" She looked at me strangely and I said 'it's all relative don't you think?' She stopped and thought about it and said she guessed I was right, even though she didn't like rodents.

I don't let it bother me but I've had a lot of years to get a thick skin. You find out who are your real friends very fast, and how shallow or rude people are very fast. Especially when you live in areas that are more "extreme" like the conservative midwest where I lived most of my life or "elitst" So Cal where I am now.

Though I love that there are more of a variety of people here in CA. I love seeing all the displays of individualism and tell my kids all the time that it's a wonderful thing to feel confident enough to show your style with pride.

 

[Carissa6729]

People like to tease people for silly reasons. It might surprise some people to know that I was bullied severely for being *thin*. Yes, That is right, bullied for being slender. We always think it's the obese women who get all the body shaming.

Ugh, me too! Drove me nuts! I had to meet with counselors because they thought I had an eating disorder. I"m 5'9" and was always under 120lbs in high school, and since I had long legs, it made me look way skinny. I still get comments once in awhile but I put on about 15lbs since I had kids which helped make me more curvy at least.

 

[AlyssaNicole]

It's really nice to see how much we all relate. Besides the whole guinea pig obsession we share, of course.

 

[iamsnape]

I used to have a bunch of piercings but I've taken a few out just cos I'm not sure what the point in having all of them was. Now I've just got 2 normal ear lobe piercings, tragus and belly button. And I've got 2 tattoos, a smaller one on my hand and a larger one on my leg. Planning more for the future, I'd love to get more now but I'm only coming up 20 and don't wanna be covered in a hurry.
I also used to have my hair loads of colours....red, like a blonde lighting bolt thing (that was about 6 years ago lol), purple, etc. Now it's just chocolate brown. I still listen to my alternative music but according to everyone around me, I look 'normal' now. I think I grew out that sort of look.

I know I'm late on this thread, but you should probably get a different hair dresser. That one sounds unprofessional and quite rude - how is it her place to say any of that? My family hate my tattoos (well not hate, they dislike tattoos in general) and my boyfriend hates my piercings, but it's my body so they can shush!

 

[YourSoJelly]

It's really as how people can be so mean but all we have to do is pop back to this thread and imagine everyone on here is supporting us. Never forget that!

 

[pinky]

IDK I'm diagnosed with a bunch of stuff, but it's whatever. I'm tired of labels.

That's exactly my point... "labels"... I think that's what causes the most problems and discrimination. Everyone is unique with different experiences and genetics that makes them different than everyone else. I find it interesting that the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders recently lumped Asperger's and Pervasive Developmental Delay under the umbrella of Autism Spectrum disorders. Those impacted are individuals who probably have less intellectual and language issues but more of the social and behavioral problems. They probably won't meet all of the criteria under the autism spectrum and could lose eligibility for services. The social and behavorial issues need to be addressed as much as language and academic ability.

 

[Carissa6729]

Along the lines of this, and with the imposition of the new forum behavior policy of this forum, I find this thread ironic in so many ways.

lol touche!

although in fairness, i think the message got through pretty well, it's been pretty tame lately

 

[Carissa6729]

That's exactly my point... "labels"... I think that's what causes the most problems and discrimination. Everyone is unique with different experiences and genetics that makes them different than everyone else. I find it interesting that the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders recently lumped Asperger's and Pervasive Developmental Delay under the umbrella of Autism Spectrum disorders. Those impacted are individuals who probably have less intellectual and language issues but more of the social and behavioral problems. They probably won't meet all of the criteria under the autism spectrum and could lose eligibility for services. The social and behavorial issues need to be addressed as much as language and academic ability.

Along the same lines as this, it's ridiculous how some of the diagnosis's can receive help while others can't.

My son was diagnosed with PDD-NOS at age 3, under this, he could qualify for services through the school district but not from the government and not SSI because he was not "autistic". At age 6, they legally changed it to a diagnosis of Autism, and immediately he was qualified for SSI and all government services. Those 3 years in between, same child, same delays, could have made a HUGE difference in his life if he had the services available to him as he does now. I think it's completely unfair how just because you may not fall under the Autism umbrella, you can not receive some of the same services while you have many of the same challenges. Many of the times, and definitely in my son's case, his academic and language ability were impaired because of his social and behavioral issues.

What I found interesting was many times I've heard of psychiatrist's diagnosing children as being Autistic, although they may not have all the markers, just so they can receive the benefits that a child with Asperger's or PDD may not get.