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Thread: Any Writers Out There?

  1. #1

    Any Writers Out There?

    Hey! It's been a bit since I was in The Cafe. I'm going to apologize for any late responses up front, as I have gotten my iPhone and my Kindle taken away and can only post from the family computer.

    So my big ol' question is...:

    Do we have any writers out there? I posted a few of my poems here in The Cafe in April, and everyone was SO enthusiastic about it! I've always wanted to be a writer, actually. It started in first grade, when I had to write a story. I wrote about a man named Chandler (who had "mystical powers") who was mortal enemies with my MC, a man who had no name. I named the enemy Chandler because there was a guy in our neighborhood named Chandler and I didn't like him much. He shot my friend (who was named Katelyn) with a paintball gun.

    Later on I would write a series in fifth grade, continuing my first grade works. I received a Glenmar journal from my science teacher, which I found amusing, because the MC's home was in the glen. I wrote about them from first grade all the way up until about seventh grade. I still have every last one of the stories. Most are in my Glenmar, some are in my blue folder, which has stickers on it (a snail, a dinosaur, a cheeseburger--I was random).

    I'm going to post an excerpt from my novel I'm writing, along with the plot summary, because I want to hear what people think. It's called THREE:

    THREE, a Summary:

    THREE tells the tale of three women living in Jackrow, Oklahoma, back in 1924. They have barely any money, and when things get rough, they plan to rob the bank. Things spin out of hand, however, and the three earn the label of cold-blooded killers. After a run-in with an FBI agent, the middle woman is captured, and is set to be hung. The only way to save her is to make sure it never happened. Can the three of them turn back time? Or will they get caught?

    Excerpt from THREE:

    Jackrow, 1924. Three women hurried down a busy street, eager to reach their destination. When they arrived at the doors of the diner, Clarissa, clad in a coat and shawl, led the others inside, leaving behind the biting cold.

    Inside the new diner it was warm and bustling with people. Music played from quarter-run machines on every table. The trio was soon greeted by a friendly waiter, who showed them to their seats. He departed, leaving the three of them staring at one another.

    “Clydette,” said Clarissa, addressing the woman bundled in a luxurious fur coat.

    “Yes?” said Clydette. She glanced at Clarissa.

    “We need more money,” said Clarissa. She had become desperate.

    “I know,” sighed Clydette. Though the three of them had never lived together, they had agreed to help pay each other's bills. Over the last few months, however, income had been low, and they were losing the little money they had. The most valuable thing they had between them was Clydette's fur coat, and since she wouldn't sell it, they had to come up with other solutions. Odd jobs, extra shifts, and selling possessions were among those tried in the past. It was time for something new.

    “Ruth,” said Clarissa, exasperated. “What should we do?”

    A sly smile lit up Ruth's tiny face. “I think,” she said quietly, her eyes wild, “that we should rob the bank.”

    “Shh,” hissed Clydette. “Keep it down!” She leaned in closer. “Besides, where could you get such an idea?”

    “Well, we need money, and the bank has it.” replied Ruth, as if it were obvious. “With your weapons, my speed, and Clarissa's smarts, we can pull this off for sure.”

    Clydette exhaled loudly. “Clarissa, tell her it's not possible.”

    Clarissa pondered this for a moment. “Actually,” she said, smiling, “it sounds pretty possible. Easy, even.”

    Widening her eyes in alarm, Clydette said, “But we could be caught! Imprisoned! Killed! I'm only twenty-one!”

    This was true, thought Clarissa. In Jackrow, when things were stolen, the thief had to pay the price of the stolen object. If they couldn't or wouldn't, they were executed by the police. It was a harsh policy, but nonetheless an effective one.

    “But that's what we have you for,” piped up Ruth. “You could take out the cops for us!”

    “Take them out?” asked Clydette, shocked. “But there's a ton of them, and only one of me!”

    “No worries,” said Clarissa. “I've got something planned already.”

    I had to take out the cover because it had my last name on it. Tell me what you think! And if there ARE any writers, let me know! We can do something fun! I'm already working on a new novel! And sorry about the long post

  2. #2
    Cavy Star, Photo Contest Winner spudsthepiget's Avatar
    Jan 15, 2013
    Iowa City

    Re: Any Writers Out There?

    I love it! I love stories that involve stratedgies and plans, it gets my mind working in all directions. If you get it published, I want to read the whole thing!
    I'm an aspiring author and I'm looking to get my short stories published right now. If you ever want to colaborate, let me know!

  3. #3
    Cavy Star, Photo Contest Winner Gforcepiggies's Avatar
    Aug 24, 2012
    Estes park, Colorado

    Re: Any Writers Out There?

    I am a writer also. I have loved writing since I was smaller, too. I am writing a book also, I call it "Fror". It is about a creature I call a Moleman (part mole part man) who lives in a hill and is made to take a very important message over hundreds of miles to the king, encountering friends and foes on the way, laughing and falling in love. Here's my excerpt.


    The war was over. The plain was still and all seemed normal, except, that if you looked closer, you would find the carcasses of men, brave men. Men whom had risked their lives for their kingdom, and died doing so.
    If you had looked northeast, towards the Never-Sunny mountains, which stretched for miles into the gloom, you would have seen nothing, but the tall, waving yellow grass, who’s stalks were full of seeds that had not yet been picked, nor would be picked for the Harvest.
    When I say never to be harvested, I mean it. In this realm of the world, when a battle is fought, the ground is sacred until four summers after. No one may step a foot on that land. If they do so, they will be punished, either by death or by becoming outcast for the rest of the four summers that remained of the battlefield being sacred.
    But, no more chitchat. Let’s get on in our story. This story wasn’t called Fror for nothing, now was it?

    In the tall, waving grass of the Dune Battle, something stirred. Nothing that most eyes could see. Just a faint, grumble and a twitch. Even an animal wouldn’t of taken notice.
    This was a Moleman. Molemen are underground dwellers, digging holes to live in and decorating them with beautiful designs that are so wonderful, you wouldn’t believe their home to just be a hole. But, out climbed this Moleman. His clothes were not of the richest kind, but still looked extrodinary on his little man. His light hair was full of burrs, but his blue eyes shown. He stood and brushed off his trousers, spills of dirt falling from between his fingers. He straightened his waistcoat, and fumbled in his pocket for the mushcake that resided there.
    He chomped into it, tasting the sweet honeysuckle juice and wheat it was made of. (sort of like dinner biscuits with honey, if you were wondering) Then, it dropped to the ground as his eyes met the gruesome scene which lay before him.
    Bodies lay all over, some on top of each other. The Moleman was afraid to go close. He was near a man, and the man spoke, his voice hardly above a whisper, his face as pale as vanilla ice cream.
    “Moleman, come hither.” The Moleman gingerly knelt next to the dying man, who didn’t look a day over forty summers.
    “Yes sir?” Asked the Moleman. He spoke softly, his voice tender and pretty in the man’s ears. Something different, from the cries and sounds of metal on metal when the battle had happened.
    “Go…” The man’s voice was fading, “To the king….Tell him…..tell him…. It’s coming. Tell them I’m sorry.” And the man smiled, knowing he had gotten this information, whatever is was, off his chest and onto another.
    “What’s coming? What will happen? Who?” Asked the Moleman, but this man, (his name was Khan) was already gone.
    The Moleman dipped his head as the man drifted into the Otherworld.

  4. #4

    Re: Any Writers Out There?

    Yay! Fellow writers!
    I've been working on a series of fantasy novels for the past six years or so. It's rather slow-going, and I need to do more to develop the world and magic systems, but I'm still working on it.

    All right, a few comments/suggestions:
    1) Your idea sounds really intriguing, and you have a great setup for a classic heist story. I would suggest reading several different heist-type novels so you can get a feel of how they're written and how the pacing works, because heists can be tricky.
    2) I would suggest choosing one of the three women to be the viewpoint character for this scene. At the moment, "the reader" (aka me ) feels like they're floating outside of the story, as if watching through a window or a camera. Try drawing us into one of the characters so we're seeing the world through her eyes, feeling it through her emotions and senses, and hearing her thoughts.
    3) Having two main characters with names that start with the same letter-- i.e. Clydette and Clarissa-- can get very, VERY confusing.
    4) "In Jackrow, when things were stolen, the thief had to pay the price of the stolen object. If they couldn't or wouldn't, they were executed by the police. It was a harsh policy, but nonetheless an effective one." -- Is this true? You set up this story as a historical novel; is this historically correct? All genres of fiction require research, but historical fiction is one that requires even more. If you really want to have this set in a world with a strict police state, I would suggest moving away from historical fiction and into a dystopian type of setting.
    5) I like the little details about the diner. Can you add more, to give us an even better feel for this setting?

    Overall, it sounds like a great start to a really fun novel. Happy writing!

    P.S. I found this great website recently that has mini podcasts on writing, and I've learned a lot from it. This link goes directly to one of the 'casts they did that's specifically about writing heists, and if you want to see other ones, you can just go to their homepage and browse around. It's hosted by three novelists and a cartoonist, and they're really funny and have a lot of great advice.

  5. #5

    Re: Any Writers Out There?

    I'm going to address [MENTION=28031]PrincessPiggy[/MENTION] first:

    4) caught me right off. While many of the things in there are true (in the rest of the novel, which I cannot include due to guns) such as the pocketwatch, the Kid heels, and things like that, the town it is set in is entirely a work of literary art. The Frost Diner (where the planning is set) is actually a place around here from the early 1900s. I decided it would fit in perfectly, and it really does. I try to include as many time pieces as possible, but bearing in mind this is a YA novel, I feel it can be a little more fictional and a little less history-book like. I could move it into dystopian, if you really prefer.
    Then 2) caught me. Sorry I read out-of-order. It has been divvied up later in the novel. We go from all three of them in one spot to Ruth's POV, and sometimes Clydette's, and sometimes Clarissa's. It's not always even, but I try.
    3) jumped out last. The names were a gift from my sister. I didn't quite choose them. I could change Clydette's name, if you have any suggestions?

    Oh, and I just saw 5). I'll try to visit the Diner sometime soon, it's really a beautiful place. I could always look on Google though.

    [MENTION=24849]Gforcepiggies[/MENTION] : That novel seems interesting enough. How do you pronounce the name? Is it like f-ROAR? I'm just making assumptions here.
    I have a suggestion for you, though (I don't know your age, but I feel like you're younger based on your style). You want to say "wouldn't have instead of "wouldn't of". Just a bit of writers' tips

    Thanks everyone, more soon

  6. #6

    Re: Any Writers Out There?

    [MENTION=27026]cavykaitlyn[/MENTION]I love that excerpt from your story. I don't write, I prefer reading others' work and drawing.

    By the way, would you mind if I drew my interpretation of your three characters? It seems like they'd be fun to draw, and I can share the pictures with you when they're done.

  7. #7

    Re: Any Writers Out There?

    [MENTION=19971]Fizzlepop40[/MENTION] I wouldn't mind at all! It sounds like a really cool idea, actually!

    I'm sorry for the late reply, I have to share the computer for now as I'm (mostly) grounded.

    I can't wait to see the end result! Post it here if you wish, or on a photo site and PM me the link! (some are shy about their works) Thanks so much! <(0.0<)

  8. #8

    Re: Any Writers Out There?

    [MENTION=27026]cavykaitlyn[/MENTION] This first glimpse of your novel really drew me in. I would love to read the rest of it. I also love writing, though I haven't had a chance to work on non school related pieces in a while. One of my goals is actually to get a piece of my writing published. I write for the school newspaper and have also won several contests where you have to create a new ending for a novel. One of my favorite things about writing is to challenge myself to write in different styles. My latest work was a dark short story told in the point of view of an insane princess. It was a blast to write, but nothing like what I usually do.

    Anyway, good luck with your writing, everyone!

  9. #9

    Re: Any Writers Out There?

    Do you participate in nanowrimo or campnanowrimo? If you like writing, they are a lot of fun. The address is

  10. #10
    Cavy Star, Photo Contest Winner Gforcepiggies's Avatar
    Aug 24, 2012
    Estes park, Colorado

    Re: Any Writers Out There?

    Yes I need to look over it and make some changes. The name is pronounced f-ROAR. (Maybe I should put that somewhere) I wrote that part that you corrected late at night so I was sort of asleep.

  11. #11

    Re: Any Writers Out There?

    [MENTION=24577]WheekingPiggies[/MENTION] Thanks so much! I'll give you more of it, if you like! It's like 23 typed pages right now, it'll take you a while!
    I think the insane-princess-idea is really cool! I've just started to write something that is TOTALLY not like me...a love story written in 2 POV with my MC as a GUY! I would NEVER do that! Sorry, lots of caps I'm thinking of giving my MC a fiery temper, as he was raised in an abusive home and conceals his past from others. He's kinda supernatural, and he falls for the reader. Right now I'm at about a thousand words, but I only just started writing this thing a few days ago and I've been putting it off because I have to handwrite it, then type it on my typewriter :/ What a pain! So far David (working name, feel free to give me another) is running down the sidewalk out of the cafe (there's more to the story that I didn't include) called Pop and Jump because he got all nervous when the reader was there He says, "Yes, I..." "My name is David, but you can call me whatever you like. I just came over to see what kind of find you're into." He's talking about the reader and her novel that she's reading.
    OMG, OMG! My favorite part of it so far is:
    Nodding your head, you murmur as if no one is supposed to hear, "This is my favorite novel. I've read it so many times that the spine is nearly broken. The pages are worn, the cover is torn, but the words inside are just as beautiful as they always were."
    It's my siggie somewhere

    [MENTION=27585]triann1[/MENTION] Yes, I do Young Writer's Program (YWP) which is at . I haven't tried the adult yet because it seems so daunting. You can't set anything lower than 50000, and the adults don't seem as friendly and helpful...
    I'm trying to do Camp NaNoWriMo this month. I didn't even think about using my newest novel for it. I'm trying to reach 20000 words. This morning I had 763, but I only wrote for one day (and even then just an hour or two).

    [MENTION=24849]Gforcepiggies[/MENTION] Lol, you spelled my name wrong! Should I be offended? Just kidding, I'm fooling with you :P Thank you for the help with the pronunciation! I thought that's what it was! I'm a bit hyperlexic, so I'm good at languages I like to write late at night sometimes too, but it's a bad habit, because you'll wake up in the morning, look at what you wrote, and say, "Just how tired was I?" because it'll often look super silly to you. Write at your best times, not your worst! Helps weed out editing later

    It was great hearing from all my fellow writers! Others, feel free to jump in! Oh, and sorry for the SUPER long post this time around!

  12. #12

    Re: Any Writers Out There?

    Quote Originally Posted by cavykaitlyn View Post
    @Fizzlepop40 I wouldn't mind at all! It sounds like a really cool idea, actually!

    I'm sorry for the late reply, I have to share the computer for now as I'm (mostly) grounded.

    I can't wait to see the end result! Post it here if you wish, or on a photo site and PM me the link! (some are shy about their works) Thanks so much! <(0.0<)
    Thanks! I'll start ASAP. Probably sometime tonight.

  13. #13

    Re: Any Writers Out There?

    Excellent! I think my Kirby looks even better sideways


  14. #14

    Re: Any Writers Out There?

    Lol, I agree. [MENTION=27026]cavykaitlyn[/MENTION]

  15. #15

    Re: Any Writers Out There?

    I am also a writer, but it takes me forever to write anything!

  16. #16

    Re: Any Writers Out There?

    [MENTION=27026]cavykaitlyn[/MENTION] I finished the drawing! I wasn't sure what kind of clothes they should be wearing so I had to Google it. Sorry if they aren't accurate!

    I'm pretty happy with how it turned out apart from the arms. I hope you like it!

    Attachment 51759

    Left to right they are: Clarissa, Clydette, Ruth

  17. #17
    Cavy Star, Photo Contest Winner Gforcepiggies's Avatar
    Aug 24, 2012
    Estes park, Colorado

    Re: Any Writers Out There?


    I think I got your name right this time!
    You know how you are in bed and thinking, then a great sentence or scene pops into your head, and you are like, "I need to go write this down NOW!" And get up, find the computer, and type extremely fast what you think is right. Then, you read it, and find out it was really a cheesy idea, and delete it.
    Happens all the time.

    But I am working on Fror and a little kids' book, called "I can do what Mommy does!" I have finished the story and am working on the art work for it.

  18. #18

    Re: Any Writers Out There?

    WOW [MENTION=19971]Fizzlepop40[/MENTION] they are INCREDIBLE! I absolutely adore them! I'm saving this to my computer for sure! Lots of exclamation points You're really talented, y'know. I am just in shock at how beautiful these are. And the arms are perfect! I hate drawing them, I can never get the fluctuations in the width and the hands are even worse! Maybe you can teach me to draw sometime! That'd be SUPER fun And I LOVE their clothes! I especially like Ruth's t-strap heels! Very common for the era Thank you SO much for doing this for me!

    [MENTION=24849]Gforcepiggies[/MENTION] Thanks, I appreciate that!
    Yeah, that happens to me a lot! So if I'm not grounded, I type it up on my phone (because I can use it whether it's dark or light) and somehow work it into one of my stories. Then sometimes I'll realize that it wasn't the best idea after all, and it didn't fit with my current story, and I take out my work...a vicious cycle, really.
    That's really cool that you're writing a children's book! And you illustrate as well! Excellent. There are some really good authors out there that do both writing and illustrating, you should check them out! The Mitten by Jan Brett is AMAZING for what you're doing. It's a classic story, and the illustrations are just beautiful!
    Good luck with your endeavors! I'm happy for you!

  19. #19

    Re: Any Writers Out There?

    I absolutely love writing, although I haven't written any stories in a long time. The idea hasn't struck me yet, but if I ever come up with something then I definitely would.

    I think i'd be more likely to write childrens books or short stories. I can't see myself writing a 400 page book, ever.

    I'm taking writers craft for my senior year and I'm excited to see what I can do with that.

  20. #20

    Re: Any Writers Out There?

    I read the expert from "Three" just now and it sounds awesome. I'd love to read it.

    I agree, maybe expand on the idea of the diner? Create a more vivid sense of what a diner in 1924 would have been like.



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