Living with Disease

[homeschoolmama]

Oh Ly, I am so sorry! (((((((((((hugs)))))))))))) It's never easy to have to say goodbye to someone we love. Take care.

 

[skirbo]

I'm sorry to hear of everyone's difficult week and very sorry to hear of your losses.

Ly-my mother lives in Mountain View and regularly does her shopping in Batesville-what a small world. What city are you in?

Sarah

 

[Ly&Pigs]

Oh my gosh. I live in Mountain View. Who is your mom? I may know her. You can pm me her name.

Also, the next time you come to visit her, we will have to meet!

 

[skirbo]

I did p.m. you. What a tiny old world. Mountain View is such a gorgeous and quiet place, I love it. I wanted to move there instead of the Florida panhandle, but my mom insisted I wouldn't be able to find a job, so I didn't.

Don't get to visit her too often though-I live alone and there is no one to take care of the animals if I don't do it lol.

Sarah

 

[ScottandDebbie]

(broken link removed)

 

[Ly&Pigs]

Mountain View is a beautiful and small country town. It has around 2800-3000 residents. It's the Folk Music capital of the world and they have play live music on the Square every Friday and Saturday nights. Because of the smaller population there aren't as many jobs but the town is growing and depending on what kind of work you do, there may be future jobs in your line of work skirbo. The new Wal-Mart supercenter just opened in late October, they just built an O'Reilly's Auto Parts, 3 new banks are being built and other businesses are being built as well. Ozarka Collage expanded out from Melbourne and now there is a larger branch here in town.

On the flipside, the town is rather boring because there isn't much to do. I think we are the only town in the state that still has a Drive in Movie Theatre but I believe it's only open during the warmer months. We have no cinema's, malls or much shopping, no wonder your mom shops in Batesville! We now have a total of 4 grocery stores and the only place to shop for anything else would be Wal-Mart or the locally owned shops but many of those seem to be more for tourists than anything.

I think it's kind of funny because most people can find grids easily but not coroplast. I had the opposite problem. I easily found coroplast through the printing shop here but no grids. I ended up getting grids from Little Rock, 2 hours away.

 

[skirbo]

Mountain View is a beautiful and small country town. It has around 2800-3000 residents. It's the Folk Music capital of the world and they have play live music on the Square every Friday and Saturday nights. Because of the smaller population there aren't as many jobs but the town is growing and depending on what kind of work you do, there may be future jobs in your line of work skirbo. The new Wal-Mart supercenter just opened in late October, they just built an O'Reilly's Auto Parts, 3 new banks are being built and other businesses are being built as well. Ozarka Collage expanded out from Melbourne and now there is a larger branch here in town.

I absolutely loved it there-did get to sit with my mom and dad (a few months before he died) and exhusband and listen to the live music and eat fried pickles at that little burger joint next to the square.

I'm a paralegal by trade, but have excellent secretarial skills as well. Moving the critters would be a nightmare, but one day if my mom doesn't come here, I'll probably go there. I also gave some consideration to starting a part time carriage driving business-weddings and special occasions, and during the tourist season maybe a scenic drive through the town if there was anything historical to see.

It's about the only place I have ever been that felt like home, and I have only been twice.

Sarah

 

[JennG]

Ly-I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. I've been out of the loop. My computer server has been down for the past few days. I felt like someone cut my left arm off. Hubby made fun of me because I was having withdrawals. But I did get alot of housecleaning done.

Hopefully everyone will have a good Thanksgiving.

 

[ScottandDebbie]

((((( Today is a *landmark* day for me. )))))

When my daughter was only six years old I was diagnosed with breast cancer.

From the day that I first learned about the cancer... I may a iron-will promise to myself that I would live long enough to care for my daughter until she was 21 years old.

Today, my daughter, Christa's is 21 years old.
(We just got back from taking her to the airport.. She is celebrating her 21st birthday with 8 friends in Las Vegas.)

I reached for an almost impossible dream, and today it came true.

 

[Slap Maxwell]

Such congrats Debbie, what a wonderful landmark you have reached. That is so wonderful.

 

[Percy's Mom]

YEAH!! That is absolutely awesome Debbie! Happy birthday to Christa and congratulations to you for making it to such a monumental milestone! You have my prayers to reach many more milestones and see decades more birthdays!

 

[suzilovespiggie]

Debbie, that is such great news! I hope she has a wonderful time. (I'm sure she will)
I am so sorry for all that has had to suffer the death of a loved one. May you all find peace and love in your time of grieving.
My Uncles service was beautiful. He has 7 children and each gave a tribute. We laughed, we cried. He had a long wonderful life. I had a wonderful time with my cousins, many who I haven't seen in 4 yeas. The hardest was seeing my Aunt. She is 85. She looked small and frail. They were married 64 years. She is in a wheelchair now. At he end when it was just family, the last goodbyes were heartwenching.
Two of her sons held her up as she bent over my Uncle to say goodbye. I lost it, my daughter lost it, my cousins lost it. Her pain was just to much for us. The reception was better. We all brought pictures of children and grand children and just enjoyed one another.
I talked to my Aunt yesterday. She is doing better. (I live 2 1/2 hours from her). My cousin who is the only one besides me who lives in AZ, was going to bring Thanksgiving to her. A trip of my children and grand children is in the works to go see her soon.

I had a falling out with my brother. I had to ask him to leave my house. That is weighing on me as I start another week. Life is not easy. You just have to keep going. Where do I turn? This website. It has become my stressbuster. I am alone tonight so I turn to you all and read of each of your lives and what we are going thru and our beloved piggies. I salute you all and may we have a better week ahead.

 

[JennG]

Debbie-Congrats on a remarkable achievement!! Happy birthday to your daughter too.

Suzi-I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles. I pray that you can work things out with your brother. My youngest brother and I had a falling out and did not talk for over a year. We are trying to mend fences but it has been difficult. We both have missed so much with each other's families. His youngest will be 2 in January and doesn't even know me or my family. Please if you can, I would try and make amends. It's so hard to lose a loved one to the after life but much harder when they're still alive and you don't speak. God be with you all.

Jenn

 

[skirbo]

Debbie: Congratulations on such an impressive milestone!!Suzi, I'm very sorry you had such a rough Thanksgiving. Family is sometimes very difficult, isn't it?

Sarah

 

[mom to cujo]

I sort of accidentally started reading this thread and finally decided to jump in. I am 48 years old and recently diagnosed with stage IV non small cell lung cancer. I have had 4 rounds of chemo so far and go for a CAT scan on wednesday to see how the cancer is responding to the chemo. I have an 18 year old daughter that I planned on seeing get married and have a baby. Now I may not be around for her to finish her first year of college. My husband has been very supportive and helpful but like most men he is still helpless. He refuses to acknowledge the severity of my illness. I know that miracles do happen and I know that I should be thinking positively but the chemo makes me so sick for so long and makes it hard for me to think any good thoughts. My 5 babies (piggies) keep me smiling but reality for me right now stinks!

Just needed to vent a bit. I applaud all you brave women who are surviving and have survived all the debilitating illnesses you have had to deal with.

 

[ScottandDebbie]

Mom to cujo, (((( HUGS ))))

Ah... not by accident that you found this thread. I believe that nothing happens simply by *chance*.

I really do understand what you are feeling.
Chemo is rough.
Chemo would drag a completely well person down to the depths of hell.

I had awful depression while I was going through it.... It's hard enough to come to terms with the big "C" word... and then here comes the chemo.

I would often feel like I was drowning in the fear of the unknown. Wondering how much time I had on my clock. There would be times I would look at my daughter and have to run to my room to keep her from seeing my tears. It's the unknown that would rattle my cage. And the sadness of thinking that I was going to leave her, and my husband behind. Thinking, or fearing that I would no longer be a part of their lives. That life would go on without me. It was awful.

It wasn't until I learned to *embrace* my fears, and stop trying to run from them, that I finally found real peace, and acceptance. It took a lot of tiny baby steps to get me to that point in my life.

I do believe in miracles.
I believe that every moment that we suck air into our lungs is a miracle for each and every one of us. The ones that know their lives are more fragile seem to appreciate and understand what it means to live in the *Now*.

*Now* is really all that we have.

The one thing about tough times in our lives is that we learn what *incredible strength* that we have within ourselves. We learn that we can hold our head up even when we feel our feet sinking in quicksand.

I promise... I will keep you in my thoughts and in my prayers.

 

[mom to cujo]

Thank you so much. Prayers are so important. The unknown is what is driving me mad. Going through chemo will have been totally worth it if I get some more time. But time feeling like I'm already almost dead isn't worth it. The oncologist seems to feel that I am responding well to the chemo - but then what does that mean? An extra couple of months or some significant time? Thanksgiving was so hard. Cooking exhausted the heck out of me. By the time dinner was ready I had to go lay down before I could eat anything. Then, of course I kept wondering if this will have been my last Thanksgiving. We have no money to have a Christmas this year. I realize my daughter is grown, but I feel terrible to be unable to give her some sort of gift. I know that she finds this all so unfair. She doesn't vocalize that openly blame me, but I know she does because I was a smoker. I have always been a hyper person. Up at 3 am, waitress till 3 pm then running around, cleaning, cooking, etc. Now I barely have the energy to get out of bed. I do the cleaning still, but it takes alot longer. All the pain medication I am on makes it hard, too. I am so dopey from it most of the time. No one - not even my worst enemy should ever have to go through this. Not cancer, not chemo - none of it!

 

[suzilovespiggie]

Mom to Cujo. You vent all you want. We are here to listen to you and be here for you. Thank you for sharing. It took great courage to do that. You are not alone anymore.
I myself havn't had to go thru chemo, but family members have. I am holding your hand as I did for my grandmother.
Life is not easy. None of us are promised a future. We are promised one day at a time. What Debbie says is true. We have Now. Sometimes just hanging on minute by minute.
You will get thru this. I know these are just words, We on this thread will be here for you one minute at a time if need be. You can e-mail me if you want. You will have prayers and positive thoughts sent to you. There is a light at the end of all this darkness. Keep looking for it. Suzi

 

[JennG]

Mom to Cujo-This is a wonderful place to yell, scream or vent your frustrations out. I'm so sorry that you have to go through such a hard and difficult thing. I will pray that you have good news on Wednesday. Keep up your spirits. I'm sure your daughter is scared and wants to see you through this. It is unfair. My mom was told 7yrs ago to quit smoking or she'd die. She hasn't touched a cigarette since. She has emphysema, bronchitis constantly, she has a chronic cough and gets easily winded. I finally talked her into applying for a handicap card to put on the car when she goes to the store. It's so hard to watch a loved one not be like they once were. I'm just glad that she's still here and I'm sure your daughter is as well. Don't think of it as the last but as the beginning of a new life. I'm sending you positive thoughts for a wonderful holiday and a great recovery. Keep us posted. And God be with you and your family.

 

[mom to cujo]

Thank you all so much. Each day I try not to think of things but at this point I am basically housebound and the life that I knew is over. For the first week after chemo I cannot even collect my thoughts - it is called chemo-brain - and it is impossible to even check my emails, pay bills or concentrate on anything that requires thought. After about a week and a half my brain gets pretty much back to normal but physically I am exhausted most of the time. Thanksgiving was so hard. I told my doctor last week that we have to become famous and he has to cure me. I told him my family is helpless without me and he just has to fix me. I just want a little more time. You never realize how afraid of death you are until it is looking you right in the face!

Thank you to all my piggie friends. It is healing to know I can come here to talk.
Much love,
Kim