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Judging others?

asnnbrg

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Only because I've seen it come up a few times. I don't think that conservative equals boring at all. Everyone has their own thing that makes him/her unique, and just because one person doesn't find something interesting doesn't mean another person won't. :)
 

madelineelaine

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I seriously can't wait to get to university, find people more like me, the crazy vegans with funky hair that understand why I won't buy certain cosmetics and I would rather starve then eat a piece of bacon.

[MENTION=24898]Digital_Dad[/MENTION] I noticed that and I was like, woah.
 

madelineelaine

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To everyone that's posted, THANK YOU. I've read every single post, although I haven't replied to them all.

@pinky in a way I'm glad they have secret clubs like that, I honestly wish my school did that. I went through years of bullying. I lost all my hair in 6th grade from an autoimmune disorder and almost commit suicide at 11 years old because I had zero friends. Recess was torture, to say the least. I used to play with little kids. I was 11/12, and I was playing with 7 year olds just because I didn't want to be alone. I used to beg and cry and beg my mom to take me home at lunch and eventually she did. Those few years were sheer torture and I peg all the bullying, harassment and lonlyness as a major trigger for my mental disorders. I refuse to tell my therapist because I simply can't bear to think about it. I try to be positive now. In 8th grade I started fresh at a new school, after declaring I would sooner kill myself then step foot in that school for another year of hell. Going to that new school seriously SAVED my life.

Of course, the summer before grade 7 my mind went down the toilet, but at least I have friends now. Who needs sanity or health anyways :p
 

MissJean

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Only because I've seen it come up a few times. I don't think that conservative equals boring at all. Everyone has their own thing that makes him/her unique, and just because one person doesn't find something interesting doesn't mean another person won't. :)

I was thinking of conservative as in the political group. Obviously not all boring/bad people, but the democratic hippie in me pops up sometimes. Shouldn't have taken a jab at them regardless. Knee-jerk reactions get me into trouble!

Oh yes, I'm judgmental too. And human. :p
 

madelineelaine

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@MissJean

I secretly think we all have a little cavy in us, I mean how else do those little buggers get us wrapped around their fury paws. Izzy has me at her every wheek, whimper, cry or squeal.
 

MissJean

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Hiya, just popping in here...
I feel a big reason why some people judge others that way is because of their religion. Some people are raised very strictly in their religion. I and my husband are Catholic. My husband was raised strictly with it and I was raised somewhat loosely with it. Both of us honor not getting tattoos or piercings. I mostly honor not getting them because if the doctors found a way to medically use my skin or pieces of my body for someone who needs it, I would want that piece to be perfect for them. My husband was raised to believe abortion is wrong. Even if you were raped and became pregnant, you are forced to go through that whole process with that child. Me personally, I wouldn't be able to endure that. My mental state would quickly deteriorate.

However, me and my husband won't judge someone because of their piercings, tattoos and certain type of clothes. Now if you're going out looking like you're nearly wearing scraps, something has to be wrong with you. But if you're wearing goth type clothes, I couldn't careless. It is how people express themselves.

Religion is one of those things I'm hypocritically judgmental over sometimes. It's easy for me to say that I accept someone of any religious belief (I'm foremost a Unitarian Universalist), but it's hard in practice. My own family is of a strict baptist group that caused a lot of emotional turmoil for me. My mother is severely disappointed in me for my beliefs and my father doesn't even speak to me. I wish religion didn't have to complicate relationships with family and friends.
 

Agrimony

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Only because I've seen it come up a few times. I don't think that conservative equals boring at all. Everyone has their own thing that makes him/her unique, and just because one person doesn't find something interesting doesn't mean another person won't. :)

Very true! I didn't mean to equate it to boring, and I find nothing wrong with being conservative! I was trying to make a point that it can be a generalization that as a group some think ALL guinea pig owners are very neat and conservative but really there is a lot of diversity among us, and not a group that can be easily generalized :)
 

PrincessAngel

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@madelineelaine Everything you've been through in your life have seriously made you a STRONGER person than many other people who have only experienced minor things. I'm so sorry that no one was there for you when you needed someone, but the fact that you were able to overcome all of this basically alone is amazing and makes you an AMAZINGLY STRONG person and I seriously respect you for that. Hopefully you will find at least one or two good friends that will always have your back in University, pick a good "hippie-liberal" college ;). Although I know a few vegans at my university (catholic/jesuit school...) they don't have crazy hair. And seriously I'm 18 and still get along better with little kids and old people than people my own age, they are more fun to be around anywho!

I had a friend who was going through a lot much like yourself and I always made sure I was there for her even when she really didn't want me because I didn't want her to be alone ever. Me and her don't talk anymore and aren't friends (for many reasons, we still go to school together even at University), but I like to think that my support helped her get over her slump and helped her cope and bloom into a happier person, and if she ever needed me again I would be there. She also never told her therapist everything so I had become a pseudo-therapist in a ways.
 

pinky

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To everyone that's posted, THANK YOU. I've read every single post, although I haven't replied to them all.

@pinky in a way I'm glad they have secret clubs like that, I honestly wish my school did that. I went through years of bullying. I lost all my hair in 6th grade from an autoimmune disorder and almost commit suicide at 11 years old because I had zero friends. Recess was torture, to say the least. I used to play with little kids. I was 11/12, and I was playing with 7 year olds just because I didn't want to be alone. I used to beg and cry and beg my mom to take me home at lunch and eventually she did. Those few years were sheer torture and I peg all the bullying, harassment and lonlyness as a major trigger for my mental disorders. I refuse to tell my therapist because I simply can't bear to think about it. I try to be positive now. In 8th grade I started fresh at a new school, after declaring I would sooner kill myself then step foot in that school for another year of hell. Going to that new school seriously SAVED my life.

Of course, the summer before grade 7 my mind went down the toilet, but at least I have friends now. Who needs sanity or health anyways :p

I can tell what a kind and sensitive person you are..... Why is it that the nice kids are picked on? The one thing I've always told my kids is that when times are tough,this is a low point and it will get better. But, even more important than that, people who struggle learn to cope with pain and disappointment. Others might seem to have it easy, but those are the people who can't cope later because they've never learned to deal with it. Your friends are like gold. Keep them close and cherish them. I was a lunch mom at our elementary school when my kids were there. I worked a second shift job and wasn't home when they'd get home so I decided to do that so I'd get a chance to see them. Boy, was that an eye opener. I made it a point to make sure all the kids felt safe..... My son is really happy now. Things will get better for you. Take one day at a time and find happiness in at least one thing each day. That'll get you through the day.
 

MissJean

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I seriously can't wait to get to university, find people more like me, the crazy vegans with funky hair that understand why I won't buy certain cosmetics and I would rather starve then eat a piece of bacon.

@Digital_Dad I noticed that and I was like, woah.

Why limit your scope of friends so narrowly?

I'm also probably going to get a finger wagged in my direction for saying this, but I'd also keep a few things in mind if you're going to affiliate yourself with an inflammatory group.

When I was in High School, many outcasts loved a rap duo by the name of Insane Clown Posse(ICP). This musical group has their own subculture surrounding their violent/sexist music. Listeners refer themselves as jaggalos/juggalettes. Since they and their followers are well-known for being an inflammatory group, it's understandable for people to be cautious around their fans. Though not every fan is violent or sexist. Some are obviously great people.

PETA is also an inflammatory group. Many of their campaigns involve the sexualization of veganism and shaming those who eat animal products. If you plaster the logo all over your binder, people might wonder if you're the kind of holier-than-thou vegan/vegetarian who goes around shaming others for eating meat. You may not do this, but is it not at least slightly understandable for a person to be wary? People could be put on the defensive before they even get a chance to talk to you.

The groups you're associated with say more about your character than the way you may dress, but obviously this isn't always on-mark.
 

Aleks

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Why limit your scope of friends so narrowly?

I'm also probably going to get a finger wagged in my direction for saying this, but I'd also keep a few things in mind if you're going to affiliate yourself with an inflammatory group.

When I was in High School, many outcasts loved a rap duo by the name of Insane Clown Posse(ICP). This musical group has their own subculture surrounding their violent/sexist music. Listeners refer themselves as jaggalos/juggalettes. Since they and their followers are well-known for being an inflammatory group, it's understandable for people to be cautious around their fans. Though not every fan is violent or sexist. Some are obviously great people.

PETA is also an inflammatory group. Many of their campaigns involve the sexualization of veganism and shaming those who eat animal products. If you plaster the logo all over your binder, people might wonder if you're the kind of holier-than-thou vegan/vegetarian who goes around shaming others for eating meat. You may not do this, but is it not at least slightly understandable for a person to be wary? People could be put on the defensive before they even get a chance to talk to you.

The groups you're associated with say more about your character than the way you may dress, but obviously this isn't always on-mark.


To comment on the ICP thing, I consider myself a juggalo. I love ICP, at least their old music anyways. And I don't consider myself sexist at all. As for violent, I'm only 'violent' when it's absolutely necessary - such as if my life is in danger or if someone's trying to hurt my family, friends, or animals.
 

MissJean

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To comment on the ICP thing, I consider myself a juggalo. I love ICP, at least their old music anyways. And I don't consider myself sexist at all. As for violent, I'm only 'violent' when it's absolutely necessary - such as if my life is in danger or if someone's trying to hurt my family, friends, or animals.

Yes, I have had many friends/boyfriends who considered themselves juggalos. You don't need to defend yourself to me. I was drawing from personal experience to offer a perspective, though I understand my position can be taken offensively.
 

Carissa6729

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Though not every fan is violent or sexist. Some are obviously great people.

To comment on the ICP thing, I consider myself a juggalo. I love ICP, at least their old music anyways. And I don't consider myself sexist at all. As for violent, I'm only 'violent' when it's absolutely necessary - such as if my life is in danger or if someone's trying to hurt my family, friends, or animals.

Just thought I'd help out there ;)

It's human nature to judge to some extent, whether you use your filter and say anything is another story. If I see somebody who looks and acts drunk and/or high on some sort of random drug, acts in a violent manner (ie. playing with knives) or showing themselves in their speak by being a sexist, then yes, I will be cautious of them especially around my children. It's nature to protect my kids from others I deem harmful but it would have nothing to do with their music choice but in how they choose to present themselves, in a threatening manner. Not to say that I would say something to this person unless warranted, but I think people also have to remember that while it may not be fair to be judged for certain aspects about yourself, like @MissJean stated, if you choose to affiliate yourself with that group, you can and probably will be.

Take for instance an even more extreme situation like followers of serial killers and cults like Ted Bundy and Charles Manson. If you choose to associate yourself as a part of that group, then yes, I will be weary of you. You could be a great person, but the choice to affiliate yourself with their beliefs reflects on who you are whether you choose for it too or not. It's also my prerogative to not associate with people involved in that group.

This is also a far cry though from having piercings or tattoos that others don't like but as MissJean said, it's another perspective to keep in mind.
 

Agrimony

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One of the best things in life is having a wide and varied group of friends. Different perspectives, opinions, and personalities make for interesting conversation and times. Slightly unrelated, but I have a very critical option of PETA as a group, even though I greatly respect the vegan lifestyle.
 

Carissa6729

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Slightly unrelated, but I have a very critical option of PETA as a group, even though I greatly respect the vegan lifestyle.

ha, i wondered when somebody would bring that up...
 

deardulcie

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Hiya...I am the "black sheep" of my family...and I'm only dingy gray. One of my ears is pierced 5 times, but none in cartilage. I wear a set of smallish hoops in that one, and a diamond stud at the top. Right now my hair is very short...surfer-boy short...and part of the front is Kool-aid red. I have 5 tats, 2 of which can be seen unless I'm wearing shoes and long pants. None of them are very large, however. The biggest one on my back is perhaps 5" x 6". My hairdresser suggested the red, and the length of my hair, so I can make it spiky. I'm 51, and a 4th grade teacher.

ROCK ON!
 

Carissa6729

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All of this talk of tattoos makes me want to get another one!
 

PigPandemonium

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One of the best things in life is having a wide and varied group of friends. Different perspectives, opinions, and personalities make for interesting conversation and times. Slightly unrelated, but I have a very critical option of PETA as a group, even though I greatly respect the vegan lifestyle.

I have to agree, I've done a lot of research on PETA (Every time I say that I think of Peeta from the Hunger Games xD) and though I do understand and love some of the things they are trying to do (Have people become vegans, have animals treated better, ect) I don't care for a lot of the other things they do, or how they go about it.

I'm not sure, but I think the forum rules has something about speaking bad about PETA in it though (It's been a while since I last read them) So I don't think I can further elaborate. (Though someone can correct me if I'm wrong)
 

MrWhistles

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Religion is one of those things I'm hypocritically judgmental over sometimes. It's easy for me to say that I accept someone of any religious belief (I'm foremost a Unitarian Universalist), but it's hard in practice. My own family is of a strict baptist group that caused a lot of emotional turmoil for me. My mother is severely disappointed in me for my beliefs and my father doesn't even speak to me. I wish religion didn't have to complicate relationships with family and friends.

Oh I know! My own MIL still holds a grudge against us because we moved out and started living together before we were married. Every year at the church's Christmas service she brings it up. Always telling us to ask for forgiveness for us sinning before we got married. Occasionally she tries to get us to attend weekly services and says it is sinful to not attend to the church weekly and to not donate to the church.
 

asnnbrg

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Why limit your scope of friends so narrowly?

Just thinking out loud here, but I don't think it's uncommon to want to narrowly limit one's "group" or "type" of friends when one is younger, though, as one is establishing one's identity. As one gets older and is better aware of one is, is more firmly established in one's identity, has a strong sense of who one is, it's easier to branch out and have a broader group of friends. When one is more confident with one's viewpoints, one feels more confident in having friends with diverse points of view who are also more confident in THEIR viewpoints. IOW, you don't have to constantly defend yourself, and your friends don't constantly attack you or defend their viewpoints. Occasional debate is one thing. Incessant bickering is another. It's about mutual respect, confidence and maturity. It's all about growing into oneself, and it's hard to do that when you are constantly feeling under attack for just being yourself.
 
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