This has nothing to do with GPs but...

Thanks! But my Mom doesn't understand things like that. I tried to stay away from Erin, but Melanie and Brinn just don't talk about it. They listen to everything Erin says, and they kinda ignore me. I know I will mess up if I try to talk to them.

Do you have anyone at school to talk with maybe your teacher I always talk to my teacher when I'm depressed, or maybe a kind person that you can trust in your class that can understand your situation. You can talk privately with your friend and tell her everything or you can just tell your parents.

Thanks, I am trying to talk to my real best friend, Kiki, but Erin is trying to steal her form me too! I'm not in the same time zone, don't know if I can come, but hopefully!

Right now, it is 5:28 pm here

I would write a letter to Melanie and Brinn, and leave it for them, then that way you can say exactly what you want without having to speak to them. And it can help get those feelings off your chest, too.

Well I can tell you that I went through all of that before too. If this is elementary school, it will get easier in high school.

The easiest thing is to just try and be level headed. See it from the other peoples side too, and never stoop to the other persons level. As much as they may hurt you, saying those things back makes you just as bad as them. Try and be the bigger person.

Thanks......I wore the letters...hopefully it works!!! I'm actually in middle school...so I'm trying to keep calm but my life is a total an utter mess right now. Right now it is 9:15 pm in my time zone

I wouldn't write letters or send email messages that can be copied or shown to others. Your best bet is sitting down and talking it over with your friends, one at a time. You could talk about repairing your friendship but I would not use it as a opportunity to talk negatively about Erin because it could make things worse. Middle school can be brutal. You might even want to talk to your school counselor. They're trained to deal with conflicts and could probably give you better advice than anyone on here can.

I second the idea of talking to a counselor but wanted to comment on a couple things - about this Erin girl, her looks and her family life are nothing she can control. Going after her for those things is pretty low, at least to me, even for middle schoolers.

Furthermore I find it a little troubling that you admittedly "turned everyone against her" and "ruined her school life" but are then shocked to discover that the same thing so easily happened to you while you weren't there to keep things spinning in your direction and I think the Willow kid has a decent point because even though you had "kinda quit" bothering the Erin girl for the week you were gone, you admittedly did so and I see no fault in someone confronting you about it since it's obviously relevant to the situation.

So, yeah, I'd talk to the school counselor and beyond that take it as a lesson in, 'what goes around comes around' and 'treat others as you'd like to be treated' kinda thing? It's also important to realize that while it doesn't seem possible right now, middle school and high school don't last forever and there will be a time when you look back and can't believe some of the things you did and thought were important at the time.

Hi I'm in middle school too and believe me, I know how sticky relationships can get. Let me tell you a little story too:
I used to be a real jerk. I thought I was better than everyone else and would gossip NON STOP. I judged everyone and talked really bad things behind their backs, like " what's with her ugly outfit? or " her hair is a real mess." I'm pretty I was ten times worse than you were in terms of talking about Erin. Seriously. At the end of the day all I did was make everyone my enemy. Everyone hated me because I was mean and they knew I would gossip about them one day even if I acted like their best friend. I ended up with no friends and all I could do was hang out with my cousin. I know how you feel.

Then at the new school year, I changed my ways, my attitude, everything! I stopped gossiping and thinking I was better than everybody. All the girls knew I changed my ways, and I was a lot nicer to them. Without knowing it, I was so much happier.Like a giant weight lifted off my shoulders. Not gossiping helps make you a better person from the INSIDE. And on the outside, it shows. I regained my friends!

Now here is some advice from me about your situation, I don't know if you'll like hearing it, but it is something to think about:
- Admit that you're wrong.
Kay, I read this from a book (Don't Sweat the Small Stuff for Teens), and after much thinking it's such an important point and solved a lot of my problems. If you think about it, you started saying mean things to Erin first, and so she said them right back to you. Maybe you were the cause off the mess. You know, that's totally fine, because to be honest if I were in your situation and having to deal with a stuck up annoying girl I would've been really tempted to say that to her face too.There's a real stuck up girl in my school too, and at first everyone loved her ( personally I seriously saw no reason why lol ) then everyone started hating her ways, because she was so mean and gossiped about everyone in terrible ways that they felt it was a drag to hang around with her. I think they'll realize that soon with Erin if she keeps her ways up.

If you can, try and go talk with Erin! I know it's going to be hard because it'll feel like you're losing all your pride and admitting that you've done bad to her face, but at the end of the day, you'll have a load lifted off your shoulders and you'll be the one that's right! Maybe start off with, " Sorry for saying those things to you, and sorry for trying to ruin your relationships with everyone. I guess I was just jealous and it felt like my friends were being stolen away. I shouldn't have said that to you in the first place." I dunno, something along the lines of that? haha, I know it'll be difficult. But if you think about it, were you TRULY happy when you saw her without friends? Maybe you were just blinded? I say, go suck it up and talk to her! You'll feel awesome after, believe me!


-Everyone has the right to be happy.
( Again, something I learned from the book)
Think about this line. Isn't it true? Everyone does have the right! Put this into perspective, maybe Erin is just trying to make herself feel better and maybe being the type of person she is makes her happier. ( I wouldn't call this true happiness,) After all, her family situation as you said isn't the best either. Forgive what she's doing, and you'll pretty much be steering clear of unnecessary stress , frustration, and anger. You have the right to be happy too, and by ignoring and forgiving all that she's doing , you're already on the road to happiness.

-Who cares what other people think?
Melanie, Brin, Bailey, and Kitty are talking about you behind you back, and so? Who cares? Lots of people only talk about other people to feel better about themselves. And no matter how true what they're saying sounds, it's NOT. If they say, 'nobody likes her', at that very moment it does sound true doesn't it? Right now your friends have walked out on you, and you feel alone, so you're probably giving in and believing it. I'm pretty sure you have other friends that like you. Just ignore whatever they're saying, stay strong! If you give in to everything and let them know it's affecting you, they're going to want to do it more. Who says what they're saying is right? Just ignore everything.

-Go talk to Melanie and Brin.
It's probably going to be awkward, but it will probably solve things. Since I'm not too clear about what you could say, just try to make up with them. I really recommend that. If all else fails, just hang out with Kiki! It's better to have one real friend than many fake ones.

wow I typed a lot Anyways thanks for reading and I hope I helped. Try reading the book I mentioned! It gave me a whole new perspective on everything and life is much better now. Also, watch this video! It's amaaaaazing.
Love Your Enemies - YouTube She's Bubzbeauty and she's just so inspiring. She's really reached out to me and made me a much happier person.

I hope I helped. I'm just a 14 year old trying to help. Umm yeah. lol . Anyways, you can always pm me if you need anymore help!

OK, well to tell you the truth love, I've been there, walked that exact same road. I regret it, but now I'm with one of the most liked girls in the grade. I did everything to try to be the top. And this girl would always be in my way. Being me, yet I still regret what I did. I still had my friends though. You my friend, you have to suck it up in the gut and talk to them. Don't cry you'll look like the weaker person and to be honest crying won't help. Push through the mean names, and you show them your the bigger person. Just say sorry that's all you really have to do. A while back I hated this girl, but I knew her looks, family were not something she could control. I talked bad, etc, but I made her life heck. Well to be dead out honest what you did wasn't the best route. You made her life heck and now she is going to make yours heck. Think about, what would you do if you were her, her life being like living heck.

Ok i haven't been flat out honest with you. I was on the other end of it, i was made fun of called mean names. People would stop talking to me, I had done nothing. I was going to school then coming home crying. I was the better looking one though. I kept my cool though, I pushed through it and made everyone my friends. What you did, made you the reason why your are"not liked by anyone wasn't nice and the plan flipped back on you! You need to say sorry, get over your feelings and say it. Ive been on the other end it is not pretty

Cheesypuffpea, you are smart for a 14YO. If more kids were like you, the world sure would be a better place!

The one thing that I'd like to point out is that a lot of the behavior you described is bullying...."I was the leader of our group, and one day I got tired of Erin, so I told everyone not to talk to her. They listened. I basically turned everyone against her and ruined her school life. " Now that you're faced with it, you can see how much it hurts. I'm not sure how it will all be resolved, but I hope that you understand that bullying in any shape or form is wrong and deeply affects those who are faced with it. I've never quite understood what compels people to bully others but I do think it has a lot to do with wanting to be on the top and using whatever means they choose to accomplish it. I really haven't seen any indication of you caring about any of your friends but more about being upset that she's becoming more popular than you are. I think you need to decide if you want real friends or if your goal is to win the popularity contest. Having friends takes compassion.

Well, This just sucks. I'm sorry that all of this is going down. I can totally see why Erin would turn your friends against you, after you had just done the same thing to her. You need to admit that you were wrong. Gossip and hatefulness is a waste of time. You'll see that, in time. It was mean for you to outcast her like that. She hasn't been much better, but she is probably on the defense. I agree with the others. A counselor may be your best bet. Stop trying to defend your actions, and instead just admit they were wrong.

And middle school IS hard. It's a hard age. You seem intelligent. I assure you that it DOES get better. But first, you need to learn kindness. It's hard not to get wrapped up in the clique mindset and make school all about "us vs them" but that really isn't the way to go. You should remember that EVERYONE has feelings. And the things that you say and do can hurt so many people. Be kind to everyone--- even behind their backs. it's a lesson that will make your life better...Many adults don't practice this, even, and then they wonder why they are so miserable. Every person has a redeemable quality. Look for it. It doesn't mean you have to LIKE everyone... but be nice to them.

In middle school, I made fun of this girl RELENTLESSLY. I was so mean. I look back on it, and I want to cry. I was horrible to her. In highschool, I got sick. Very sick. And the only person who reached out to me was the girl that I was mean to. She became my best friend. She taught what it meant to forgive someone, and how to show kindness, even to someone who has hurt me. She is one of the best people I will ever know, and I was cruel to her. She was my bridesmaid when I got married 6 years ago, and she's still my best friend.

Don't be a person that one day, you will look back and regret it. Be someone like my best friend. Someone who can teach others to be a better person.

@pinky : I know, I really do care about my friends, like really. I wouldn't care if I was the least popular person in the whole school as long as I had my friends back! And I never used to be mean to anyone, but you know, middle school. Today, my friends became a little better...So that's good. No news on Erin, right now I just want to stay out of her way and get through 38 more days of school.

@Paula : I know, it just bothered me that she told everyone that she's really rich and she lives in a 4 story house with 7 bedrooms. And I've seen her house. It's a normal 3-bedroom. And I've decided to just ignore her in a nice way, but thanks!

@cheesypuffpea : Hello! By far, your advice was the most helpful! I really don't think it's any use to apoligize to Erin, I have to decided to just try to regain my friends and stay out of her way. But thanks to THE MOON AND BACK. The video was great!

@soccerchickgrp5 : Thanks for the advice! See above!

@MuggleMaggie : Your story touched me...Thanks!