(hoo boy I have a LOT to say so I'm going to do subheadings again. Sorry this has become more of "how the heck do I convince my mom of stuff" and "PANICKING BECAUSE REASONS" but these are immediate things that must be addressed...very serious things indeed. If you want to get to the issue at hand, skip to the final subheading. The rest is just how introductions with our other animals went and all that. I know its like a novel but so much happened and I didn't want to leave anything out...)
YESTERDAY WE BOUGHT BOB HOME...
And honestly it went pretty well. As well as I could have hoped it to be. So to start, it was a half-day yesterday and my boyfriend, Jessie, and his mom volunteered to help cart Bob and the coroplast home in their truck. We put the coroplast in the bed of the truck and Bob between us in the back seat...just to give you an idea of how tiny his cage is as well...but that aside he didn't really come out from under the ledge in his cage, but he did shuffle around and eat some hay. I expected him to be timid of course having just been placed in a truck of strangers going to new places, but he was very well behaved, really! I knew the dogs--our pom and cavalier spaniel puppy--would be OVERJOYED and VERY EXCITED that we were a. home ridiculously early (12:30, when I normally get home at 3:00) b. bought home company (they LOVE Jessie and his family...Sophie almost broke his nose when she charged like a bull right into his face because she was so excited he was there), and I knew c. bringing in a strange cage from strange places that smells like strange things aND OH MY GOD THERE'S SOMETHING IN THERE would be way too much for them to handle. And Bob of course was still overloaded with all the craziness so I thought it'd be best to put him in a bedroom with the door closed and no cats in to let him settle down for a bit while we got the dogs outside.
While we took the dogs outside, I told Jessie's mom about my concerns with my mom wanting to let the animals meet Bob you know, face to face. Her first response was "Yea they're predator animals, and he's a prey animal. You can't do that without some kind of risk" which is what I've been trying to say to my mom this whole time! She then told me a horror story about when her sister had a sweet-as-can-be yorkie that bit her new cockatoo's neck when she held out the bird to it for it to say hello and the poor bird died a week later. She also told me about when Jessie was born and her parents were freaked out about their dalmation, Maggie, hurting him. So she gave them the blanket he was wrapped in at the hospital and told them to put it in Maggie's bed and let her smell it and all that. When she came home they had Jessie in a carrier and just set it on the floor. That's it. They were of course supervising her and making sure she didn't do anything bad, but the dog went up, smelled him and recognized his scent and because they didn't make a big deal out of him or told her no and punished her for getting near the baby...it all went very well. Because on one hand, if you make a big deal out of it, then they get excited and barky and crazy...but if you treat it like oh, that? yea that's been there no big deal, they'll treat it the same way.
So that's what I planned to do. Just put the cage down and let them sniff him and go to him without touching him or freaking him out too much, with him behind the safety of his cage. But first my brother, Bobby, arrived and after Jessie and co. left I took him upstairs to see Bob. Yes I realize how confusing that is, and yes it was confusing and still is. Bobby is...12? I think? Maybe 13? 11? I don't really know. But he's one of those ages. Bobby immediately fell in love with Bob and pet him and fed him hay and we talked for a while about how we'll introduce them and how not to make a big fuss about it, and he agreed. I don't know if Bobby will ever have guinea pigs later in life, but if he does, I want him to know how you SHOULD take care of them...not shoving them in a tiny cage and telling people they're FINE in there but we'll get to that... So we let him on the floor for a while and he was still for ten minutes before he realized it was safe and he wandered around and tried to eat the carpet a bit but we distracted him with some hay and lettuce and all was well!
After a while I decided to call my mom and tell her how it was going, you know how nice he's been and how everyone's home okay, and when I told her he's upstairs with me and Bobby, she sounded like she was going to tear my face off. Maybe you know this voice. Maybe, if you are a mom, you have used this voice. The Angry Mom voice. The voice of pure hatred and disappointment, with the seething fury of a thousand dying suns and a tinge of angry blood-hungry wolverine. Well she had that voice and demanded to know why he wasn't downstairs. I told her why, because as I said I didn't want the dogs to meet him yet and I wanted him to have some space before we bombard him with introductions. She didn't care, and I think its because they still think I'm an obsessive jerk. I'm not too sure yet. But being subservient to her and being as passive as I am I just told her we'd bring him down in a minute. She hung up shortly after and we stayed and played with Bob for another hour or so when I got him back in his cage and Bobby opened the door.
FIRST INTRO.: CAT AND G.P.
Just as Bobby opened the door, our most curious cat, Tinker Bell, bolted in the room. She must have been sitting outside the whole time, and when she saw the cage she was glued to it immediately and was fascinated with Bob. Bob, on the other hand, could care less and just sat down to eat his hay and drink his water. He is quite honestly the most relaxed and chill guinea pig I've ever seen. I sat back and let Tinker Bell do her thing, and only interfered when she tried to put her paws in the cage (they're declawed, but still.) and let them touch noses and look at each other through the cage. After about half an hour she settled down next to the cage with her paws tucked under her, and another twenty minutes passed and she lost interest and walked away. That was it. I didn't make a big hullabaloo about Bob being there, nor did I yell at her or punish her for being curious. It all went really well and while she's still curious she is being very well behaved around him which is great.
Bob himself, by now, was chill as can be, eating his hay like nothing was wrong and cleaning his face. There's no doubt about it he's one of the most relaxed guinea pigs I've ever seen. While at first I was fearful his tiny cage size was making him mellow (which I'm sure it is, to a degree, but we'll get to that mess in a bit) I am certain now there is a natural degree of calmness about him. He even went up to Tinker Bell himself and touched noses with her before going back to eat some hay.
He's a good pig, that one.
Well after Tinker Bell lost interest, I told my brother to go take the dogs outside to go to the bathroom and don't come in until I told him to. He complied and while they were outside I took Bob's cage downstairs and set it on a table in the living room. I then told Bobby to come back inside and I showered them with attention. I may be excited about having Bob here, but I can't ignore our other pets. When they came into the living room, they definitely knew SOMETHING was there, and they were trying to get on their hind legs to see what was on the table and were sniffing everywhere. After a bit they gave up and settled down again, and I started making the coroplast tray for his new cage.
Ah...needless to say that was a mess and a half...I finished the tray and was so proud of myself only to find it was too big by an inch in all directions. So I had to re-cut the same piece and when I got it together again it was too small! So I put two grids underneath it on either end to hold it in place and it seems to work really well. I'm a bit bummed out though because the tray is now 7" high...I guess I could try to cut it down to 6" but I'm not sure yet. After I put that away in the corner, I decided I'd let the dogs meet Bob before my mom got home and could ruin it all (sorry mom but I had to say it). So I put his cage on the middle of the floor and sat back on the couch. I didn't say anything to the dogs or the cats and just put him down and let them find him in their own time.
AND THEN THE DOGS SAW HIM
Honestly I should have video taped them, but I forgot and Maximus's (the pom) dying seal noises would have split your eardrums if you had heard them. So first Sophie, the really excitable king charles cavelier spaniel or whatever she is, didn't really care at first. She poked her head at the cage a bit, but otherwise she didn't care very much. She was very quiet and good, overall.
Maximus was a different matter entirely. So, I thought he would be barking and snapping and being very angry and horrific but hilariously he was only one of those things. He was making these GOD AWFUL dying seal noises and whines and screamy sounds (he has only ever made these sounds on car rides, which he hates) and kept trying to hide behind my legs and get me to pick him up. He was HORRIFIED of Bob!! He refused to go near him and kept barking every time he moved and was freaking out trying to get me to pick him up and comfort him, but I just let him bark to get it out of his system. It was horrible, and really, really annoying but I didn't want to punish him for being scared and I also didn't want him to think Bob was a Bad Thing. So he screamed for a really long time and Sophie barked a bit when he got really worked up but otherwise it went well. I didn't interfere until my cat, Mr. Jinx, tried to put his paws in the cage, but as I expected he accepted him immediately and was rubbing his cheeks on the cage and meowing and purring. After a while I decided to take the dogs for a walk to see if that would calm them down (they LOVE walks so much and they insist on sprinting as fast as they possibly can even though they know I'm terribly unfit and can't jog without dying all over the place) and they did a bit but were still very excited. That was fine though, I knew they would be. After an hour or so Maximus stopped making dying seal noises and settled down into Really Long Growls and kept looking at me every few seconds and then back at Bob as he was growling, but even that was better than dying seal noises. By then he wasn't afraid anymore, but still worked up about the whole thing. But you also have to keep in mind, this is a dog that goes into hysterics if he so much as SEES another dog or if you leave the house for a minute so this is fairly normal, if aggravating. After a while I decided to let them see him outside of the cage, but I was gonna do it MY way.
Jessie's mom suggested if they had to meet him outside of the cage to let them sniff his bottom because at least that way he'll be less stressed and they can't harm his face or neck. She also suggested wrapping him in a towel to keep him secure, and for removing him from the situation if it got dire. So I took a piece of scrap fleece and wrapped him up and sat on the couch with him. He chattered a lot and was very annoyed, but he settled down fairly quickly and didn't struggle or bite. Sophie immediately jumped on the couch and was wagging her tail and INSISTED on shoving her face in his fur and was sniffing and snuffling all over him, rubbing her nose and face on his butt and back but she was very good. I wanted very much to tell her how good she was being, but needed to keep as indifferent as possible and make it seem like its Not a Big Deal. Bob was very upset about this, and was chattering a lot but he got over it soon enough and was a very good boy. Maximus was pretty good as well, and got his fair share of sniffs in and was still mouthy but he's like that all the time anyway. He was significantly quieter now though and it was more of panting and short barks than dying seal sounds or growling.
After about a minute I put Bob back in his cage, but he INSISTED on taking the fleece with him. He tried grabbing it from me and tried to burrow back into it, so I gathered him back up and sat in the unfinished c and c cage with him while he settled down. He made a little nest of fleece and was very happy about it, so I had my brother sit with him and gave him lots of hay to eat while he sat with him. The dogs kept pacing around the cage and trying to peek in, and I finally gave in and just picked maximus up because I couldn't tolerate his barking. He got very quiet and Bobby told be Bob was making chattering sounds and I thought he meant teeth chattering, like "I hate this and I'm unhappy and I want you all to know it" but he was actually making tiny wheeking sounds like "whee whee whee wheek" and was nestled in his fleece very calmly and seemed to really enjoy it. He started cleaning his little face and I could see it on Bobby's face that he was so happy this guinea pig was here.
It made me really happy to see that, you know? Because funnily enough, Bobby gets it. He's 12 or maybe 13 years old but he gets that this little animal needs more than just some tiny cage and some food. Just because he's alive doesn't mean he's thriving. I actually talked to Bobby when I was initially making the outline of the cage in grids and he hadn't even SEEN the guineapigcages website or even MET the guinea pig yet, but when I told him it'd be 2x3 he looked at the grids and got this look on his face and said it was too small and it needed to be 2x4, which is why it's so big now. Because as aggravating as Bobby can be sometimes (he is still my little brother. you know how it is.) he GETS it! I'm sure eventually he'll phase out of caring so much about this little guy but you never know. For now anyway he gets that this little bud needs more than that little BOX called a cage, and I get that eventually he needs a friend which is why I started this thread. For now though, this bud needs some help and that's what I've got to address first. Bobby's also learning a lot about taking care of this little nerd and I'm hoping he'll take all of this advice to heart because this is important.
Anywho, after an hour or so of that we put him back in his cage and sat around for the rest of the night. I had to keep maximus picked up for the most part because he was still very emotional, but all was going well.
THEN MOM GOT HOME
And she wanted to know where he was how everything was going, you know, the works. I got that, and I told her all the work we'd been doing and how well everyone's been and the first thing she does is ask Sophie in that little high pitched voice people use to talk to animals with "oh sophie is this Bob? is this your buddy?" and she's immediately excited and as I guessed not five minutes later she's barking at the cage and getting really noisy for the first time since she saw him. I don't mean to be mean, but that's what I've been trying to avoid all day. If you act like he's a plaything, like a treat or a toy, they'll treat him like one! That voice she was using is the voice we use to say stuff like "Oh Sophie you want a treat? do ya? huh? oh who's a good girl with your treat!" or "where's your toy sophie? where is it?? go get it soph, go get the toy!". It's a play voice, a "oh my gosh this is an exciting time and I must be very excited right now because its play time and that is a thing I can play with" voice to her...and even though my mom told me the day before to not yell at the dogs when they bark and just as Jessie's mom told me to not make Bob a no-no zone she goes and yells at the dogs and spanks their bottoms when they bark! Not enough to hurt them obviously, but enough to make them notice.
But if anyone's ever had dogs you know when they're excited, they don't care if you pat them on the bottom. They're too excited to care. So obviously they go on barking and barking and everything's a mess. My mom also opened up the cage door and let Maximus shove his face all the way in the cage and I wanted to literally tear my eyes out because this was EXACTLY WHAT I WAS TRYING TO PREVENT because now every time I go to feed him or pet him Maximus is shoving his way through and insists on seeing him and screams if he can't. Just...ugh...I get she's doing what she thinks is right, and she is right when it comes to introducing things like cats and dogs (all of which have gone swimmingly in the past) but NOT guinea pigs and dogs/cats! So for the rest of the night they're both barking now and bless his little soul Bob could quite literally care less and is eating his food and settling down in his little piece of fleece and doesn't even care that there are two small dogs barking their heads off right next to him. Because they were so worked up, I took them for another walk and they calmed down a bit. They still barked, but not as much. My mom kept telling me to shut them up but I felt horrible telling them to because it was not only pointless but a waste of my time and it only made them angry about the situation.
But whatever. Otherwise it went well, really. Better than I could have hoped I guess. Or dreaded. This morning the dogs only barked a bit and Maximus has lost all fear of Bob. We now have another slight problem with him though...he INSISTS on sitting next to the cage and snarls and chases any of the cats away if they get too close to the cage. I guess that's okay but its really annoying and the cats aren't doing anything wrong. I'm also trying to reclaim that indifferent and chill attitude we had yesterday afternoon and the dogs have finally settled down and don't seem to care as much about him, which is perfect. Sophie is snoring like a monster truck next to me and Maximus is taking a nap, and Bob has made himself a little fleece nest with a piece of scrap fleece and really likes sleeping on it. Everyone's very relaxed and this is what I was hoping for...for Bob to just be accepted as A Thing That's There, not a big deal, just a guinea pig bud who's gonna do his guinea pig stuff while they do their stuff, you know? So overall its gone well...
And also, golly gosh...I hate to paint my mom like a jerk or something, because she isn't, but MY GOSH she is very stubborn in her ways and doesn't listen to anyone. I really hope everyone realizes that. She means well but if she thinks something is weird or goes against what she knows in the slightest (for example the size of guinea pig cages) I have never, not once in all my life, told my mom no about something but by golly this next thing just thinking about it makes me want to tear my heart out rather than bring it up to her again...but that brings us to what I have to say next.
AND NOW THE NEWEST ISSUE
So. I will post pictures very shortly to show what I mean when I say all of this, but first and foremost Bob's current cage is horrible. I think I said in the first post it is literally 2' x 1' long. That's about 1/3 the size of the MINIMUM cage size for one gp. He can't do laps, and can barely popcorn--if he does at all!--without banging his head on something. However my mom seems to think this is "plenty" for him, and the cage I have literally spent almost all of my money and time on is too big and it needs to be halfed in size and only then to be used as a play pen.
I honestly have never felt so infuriated in my entire life. Except for the time when my brother called me a liar and I wanted to punch through a wall. But that aside. I am very very passive and have a problem with pushing myself too hard and blaming myself for things. I don't blame others, hate confrontations, and I'd sooner cut off my own arm then tell my mom "no". Honestly my greatest fear is her, and disappointing her. I love my mom dearly but she is horrifying when she wants to be and it makes me cry and shake to think of telling her she's wrong. But by god, SHE IS. Here I am willing to spend all of my money making this little booger a new cage and a new life, with it already half-built and almost done and she tells me get rid of it or mutilate it, you can't use it.
Now. Okay. Thinking rationally, this cage is 2x4. I can probably figure out how to make it 2x3 even though I'm wasting a lot of coroplast and therefore money. But she still thinks a 2' x 1' cage is PLENTY for an almost adult guinea pig, and it makes me want to cry and drown in my own tears because I'm too SCARED to tell her its not. I must have had this horrified expression on my face when she said that this morning because she asked me whats wrong and I said its fine but she just snapped back and asked what's fine and I felt like my heart was being torn from my chest because I was too horrified to tell her she was wrong, that yea she had guinea pigs 20 years ago but they must not have been housed properly and she is WRONG but I'm SO SCARED to tell her that for fear she'll make me destroy all of this hard work or she'll give him back to my teacher where he'll never get hay, never get out of his cage, and die at a young age because she doesn't even take him to the flipping vet and doesn't know what she's doing.
I don't know what to do guys. I can realistically have this cage done by tomorrow if I wanted to as we're getting the shelf today but is it even worth it? I'm just throwing my money into hopes and dreams that can't be accomplished and I feel like such a debby downer when I'm normally very chipper and happy and helpful, but I feel broken right now. I KNOW as the child I have to do what my mom says and I have been for over 16 years. But this is the one thing she's wrong about. The one thing I can't tolerate. This guinea pig NEEDS this cage and its right in front of me but I can't even use it...just...I'm very sorry I made this a pity party but honestly it's not about me, its about that wonderful guinea pig next to me that deserves more than this. Any advice or help you can give is appreciated, and kudos to anyone if they actually read this whole thing. I'll try not to type as much next time.