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View Full Version : what about your spose/ Significant other?



kalrik
02-12-05, 06:43 pm
For all you vegetarians, is your spouse boyfriend girlfriend a vegetarian? I feel pretty strong about it. My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year now, and I know that if we were to consider something more serious like moving in together or getting married I would really want him to become a vegetarian. I can't cook meat, I don't know how; and I really don't want it in my fridge. Most importantly, I want my kids to be vegetarian, and if they see him eating meat and I am saying no it's going to be a problem. I know I am looking into the future with the kids, but I want to know how everything will work out long before then. I dont want it to happen and him say absolutely not and it be too late. What's the compromise everyone else has met?

Susan9608
02-12-05, 07:04 pm
I am a vegetarian, and my husband is not. He knew when we met that I was a vegetarian, just like I knew that he was not one. While he eats slightly fewer animals, than he used to, he still has no desire to become a vegetarian.

Like you, I don't cook meat - I don't even know how; I'd probably end up giving someone food poisoning. I don't want any of my money going to pay for it. I don't want to clean up after it. I don't want it in my fridge, and I definitely don't want my kids eating it. So what's a girl to do?

My husband and I just don't eat the same things, or when we do eat the same thing, he makes the meat and adds it at the last minute. We both love pasta, so we'll make pasta, and he'll make meat sauce for himself and I'll have plain tomato sauce ... or something along those lines. It seems really difficult at first, but it's actually not that hard. We can make pizza together, and he can add pepperoni to his half. Or if we're making tacos, I can use the "fake" meat and he can make the real thing. Then he cleans his dishes, and I clean mine. It's at least one way to make sure we're each responsible for cleaning up after ourselves.

I don't purchase the meat. If he wants it, he has to make a special trip to the store to get it. Usually he forgoes the meat because he doesn't want to go to the trouble of getting it, cooking it, and cleaning up after it. But if he wants it, he knows the rules about it. As for storing it in the fridge, since it is his house, too, there's not a lot I feel I can say about that. We do keep a separate bin in there, though, for the meat storage. That way I don't have to look at it or worry about it contaminating any other food.

He has come around to drinking soy milk instead of real milk. I'm hoping that some day he'll decide to go vegetarian, but if he doesn't, it will work out for us.

Children might make things more complicated. I definitely want to raise vegetarian kids, at least until they are old enough to make an informed decision for themselves. That brings up the question, "Well, when are they old enough? When they're old enough to ask for meat or when?" I was 10 when I became a vegetarian. I don't necessarily think that there is a specific age that will determine when a child is ready ... I think it depends on each child and their maturity. My husband and I discussed it, and decided that when our kids come to us and ask why I eat meat and my husband doesn't, and then are able to comprehend our answers and explanations, that will be the time for them to decide what they want to eat.

Until that point, they will be vegetarian. We discussed this, and decided that since I am the one who will do most of the child rearing and cooking/feeding of our children, that it will be my decision to make. Of course, I know that there will be times when he'll be alone with the kids and McDonald's will seem like an easy and convenient option for whining, screaming children ... and I think that's just something I have to resign myself to.

I think educating your children is the key ... educating and tolerance. It may seem odd to them that Dad eats me and Mom doesn't, but that's a great opportunity to teach your children not only your views on the subject, but also about accepting the views of others. PETA has wonderful ideas on how to talk to your children about being a vegetarian, and I plan to do that, so hopefully, when Dad takes them to McDonald's, they'll refuse to eat anything there.

It can work, a vegetarian and a non-vegetarian. It just takes a little bit more work. You need to do lots of talking and discussing before doing anything like getting married or even moving in together, so you hash out all the different scenerios and such, but it can work. My husband and I have been married for almost 2 years, and we dated for 3 before that ... we've never yet had an argument about food or meat.

Good luck to you.

citronsoul
02-13-05, 05:09 pm
The only meat I eat is fish, but I do eat a lot of vegetarian stuff. My boyfriend is completely ok with that. Since we've been together he says that he's pretty must lost interest in most types of meat. Because fish is my main source of protein, that's what he eats most of the time too. He likes vegetarian stuff too. If I ever decided to become vegetarian again, I don't think he'd have any problem with that. He'll still eat other types of meat, but that's usually when it's served at family or when we eat out.

I'm really glad that he's openminded about it. I've had ex-boyfriends that would whine about me not eating meat (when I was a vegetarian) & it was a major pain in the a**.

Treen
02-14-05, 07:15 am
My husband's not a vegetarian - he rarely eats meat these days because of concerns about the hormones used etc. but he's not strictly a vegetarian

I don't buy or cook meat at home, and he's really happy with a mainly vegetarian diet - doesn't miss meat at all and that was true before he stopped eating meat much too. He just has something like bacon occasionally when we're/ he's eating out.

I'm not sure how I'd feel if he wanted to bring bloody steaks and stuff home to keep in the fridge. I don't like looking at it and really don't like the smell of meat cooking either. But equally I don't think it's my business to tell anyone else what they should be able to eat, especially in their own home.

I don't think I would strongly feel that any children of mine should be raised vegetarian either - it's something I'd think should be up to them, and although I'd probably not serve them meat myself (before they got to the point of being able to make a call either way), I wouldn't object to anyone else offering it to them (although I'd much rather it was good quailty meat and not McD's!).

sofiemuffins
02-14-05, 08:09 am
I've been with my boyfriend for 6 and half years now. I've been vegetarian for almost as long. My boyfriend does eat meat, and even though it bothers me-I can't force him to be a vegetarian (although I wont refrain from dropping unappetizing lines about what he's eating). I know how to cook meat, as I used to eat it myself, but I wont cook it for him anymore. He's fine with eating anything I make, likes tofu, rice, and veggies. He's even more than willing to eat Japenese and korean foods (vegan versions ofcourse). I'd like to think that he's slowly becoming vegetarian, but I know that he eats meat when I'm not around. As for Children, I dont want any...Me and kids dont mix, I get along with my pets (also known as my "kids"). If I was to get pregnant and have a child I would definately bring it up vegetarian, but if they ever wanted to eat meat and dairy I don't think I would try to stop them.

kalrik
02-14-05, 08:41 am
Those are all encouraging responses. I talked to him and he said that he's not going to become a vegetarian until we have kids which is hopefully a few years away, but it sounds like he eventually plans on doing it. I'm glad. He also said that he won't keep meat in my fridge, and the issue of cooking is a nonissue because I can't cook meat. I absolutely have no idea how to and it'd be dangerous if I did. He, like so many guys, does not cook either. What we ended up with is: I think it's going to be a when we go out to eat, he'll have meat and he eventually plans on becoming vegetarian. I do admit, we've been together for over a year now and he has been eating less and less. He stopped eating fast foods entirely and the only time he eats non fish meat is at olgas, that gyro thing. I'm overall happy and hope that it goes really smoothly.