Loss RIP Winnie and Milo <3 I love you

[rnsparks]

My guinea pigs are dead. My heart is broken. Once again. The first two guinea pigs I ever brought home were Winnie and Ezra. And Ezra died a month after I brought him home. I thought it may had been my fault. I built their cage and it didn't have enough ventilation. The Ammonia from their pee killed him. And that was so hard for me. I felt so so guilty. After that I adopted a new baby. Named Oreo. I took the lid of the cage so it would have more ventilation. I knew I had to take precautions Cuz I had a husky at home as well. But the lid had to go. And slowly my heart mended and I fell in love with Oreo. I had winnie and Oreo. And I became happy again. Except one day I came home from school and Oreo had really bad diarrhea. And I knew that meant trouble. So I skipped all my classes for the day and rushed him to the doctor. I waited. And they told me he would spend the night. So I went home and I got a call from my mom telling me that they could try to save Oreo but it would cost me. So I said whatever it takes. And I payed 300 dollars for my little Oreo. And I prayed for his recovery. But he died . The doctor said he had a parasite and the diarrhea caused him severe dehydration. I happened to leave it to my sister that day refill their water bottle and when I found Oreo sick, the bottle was empty. Once again I blamed myself. And I cried. What if the bottle had been full? Would that had made a difference? And my heart was broken again. But. I still had Winnie . And I told myself no more. I would just have one guinea pig. But then I fell in love with Milo the moment I saw him. And I brought him home. What a beautiful baby he was. I rocked him in my arms and sang to him when he was small enough to fit into the palm of my hand. But three days after bringing him home,he had crusty eyes and I once again knew that meant trouble. So I brought him to the doctor and they cared for him. Three weeks later he was home again. And I was happy. There was something about Milo that was different from any guinea pig I had ever gotten. I fell head over heals for that little baby. I loved the way he would fall asleep on my chest. I loved the way he would popcorn everywhere. And everything seemed okay again. And I moved into my house closer to school. And they went into my walk in closet since my room was the tiniest thing ever. And I eventually noticed they weren't happy in there. So I bought a different cage and set it directly in the middle of my room. I had no room to do anything else. But if it meant they were happy. Then I was happy. And the months passed. And towards the end of the semester this year, I decided to leave them at my parent house in their old cage in my old room. And one night I was at my boyfriends house and I needed to stop by my parents house but he begged me not to. And I thought that was weird ... And then I kept asking my sister to send me a picture of my babies because I missed them so much and she just kept making up excuses not to. And that was also weird... And then I came home to my parents one day and the house was locked. And it's never locked. So I went to my moms office

and we were driving home and when we pulled up into the driveway she stopped, put the car in park. And said " Rachel there is no easy way to tell you this" and i Burst out into tears right then and there. I screamed at her. And she told me, that my Husky killed my guinea pigs. I flung myself out of the car and started running . I didn't know where I was going. But I sobbed , screamed. I was hysterical. And then I called my bf sobbing and he rushed over. Ditched his final exam to be with me. So me my mom and my bf all sat in my living room while I cried. So this is what happened:

My grandmother left the house for thirty min. And didn't lock up the dogs. My husky jumped over the barrier on the stairs that he has never ever done before. He has never shown interest in going up stairs. Even with the pigs up stairs. But that day something interested him. And someone happened to leave my door open. And you can let your imagination take it from there. My family decided to not tell me until after my finals. That's why my bf didn't want me going home and that why my sister wouldn't send me a picture of them. They knew I wouldn't be able to get my finals done if I had known.

How could this have happened? We babysit a two year old who loved my piggies. Did she go up to see them and not shut the door? Why did my grandma not lock the dogs up that day? Why out of all the other days did my dog decide to go upstairs the one time my door wasn't closed. It all seemed to perfectly executed.

So as I said.. My bf and my mom sat there as I sobbed. And my mother sobbed with me. And then my mother told me this:

The day after I left my guinea pigs at their house the incident happened. My little brother came home to find one of the pigs downstairs. He called my mom hysterical. And he cried to her and told her what happened. And then my mom drove home from work that day crying. And when my baby sister found out she cried. And when my aunt found out she cried. And when my bf found out he cried. When my grand father found out he called my mom everyday to ask if I knew yet and if I was okay. The moment my mom told me this i stopped crying. I know for a fact my family did not love those pigs more than me. My siblings didn't care for them. And yet everyone cried. They all cried for my pain. They knew I would be absolutely devastated and they cried . And then it clicked. Maybe this happened for a reason. I have horrible depression and self esteem issues. And to hear that my whole family cried for me. For my loss. That meant the world to me. I never knew they cared that much. And that makes me so grateful to have them in my life.


Thanks to everyone who is still reading this right now. My heart hurts. I'm so traumatized. Were Milo and Winnie scared? I hope to god they went quickly. My mother said there was no blood. And mom thinks one them might have had a heart attack. Because he was still in the cage. I just keep imagining what it was like for them. I was supposed to protect them. I failed them.

I also keep thinking about all my mistakes. I wasn't a perfect guinea pig owner. I didn't always feed them veggies. Sometimes their cage would get to dirty, sometime my sister didn't feed them for one day. But I really tried my best. And I loved them so so much. And I keep beating myself up. They deserved someone perfect. And I failed them.

I wrote this long story because all my guinea pigs were amazing. And I want everyone to know my story.

So rip Ezra, Oreo, Milo, and Winnie.
- I will bury you all next to one another. I am so so so sorry babes. Plz don't comment on this forum and criticize me. I am beating myself up enough as it is.

 

[7 Awesome Pigs]

I am so sorry! I can tell how much you loved them and did the best you could for them.

 

[LoveMyHerd]

Oh dear. I'm so sorry. I know how you feel because it has happened to me before. The dog opened the back door and came upstairs. I felt the same way. My hugs go out to you.

 

[Nicks Pigs]

I am so sorry for all your loses! I have a husky and even though we are very cautious with my piggies' protection, i will definitely be more precarious now!

 

[starrgazerr]

This story really made me cry...I am crying for your loss as well and I am crying because I don't want you to beat yourself up and feel like you failed your animals. I can identify with you, I felt that way every time I lost a hamster when I was younger (the only pet my parents allowed). Now I have a hamster and a guinea pig and a dog, but I can't take care of the dog. She was the family dog from when I was about eleven, and now I am nineteen and my parents are divorced. My dad wants to live the bachelor pad life and my mom's apartment doesn't allow dogs and she works a 9-5 job and wouldn't be able to provide adequate care. I live in a dorm room, but regardless I begged my parents to let me take her because I'd take great care of her...the best I could in a dorm room. Needless to say they said no. My grandmother took the dog in for a little while but became overwhelmed and gave her back to my dad. Now she's with my dad and I'm not sure if she's going back to my grandmas or not, but this has me torn apart. I just want the best for my dog and this is not what my dog deserves. We promised her a perfect life for the rest of her life and we are now failing her. I feel the same way you feel in a way, even though I have not experienced the same loss. I fear every day for my hamster and guinea pig, but I try to think about how hamsters and guinea pigs and even dogs and cats aren't meant to be pets, it's not natural for animals to keep other animals in captivity. Because we already do this, it is best for us to take the unwanted animals in and do our best to give them the best life. But animal lives are more fragile, more unpredictable than ours. In the wild, animals are crossing the rainbow bridge every day. It's horrible what our society does to animals and the only thing people like you and I can do about it is not feed into the cycle and do our best to provide our animals with great care. I know you were a great cavy mommy and will be a great cavy mommy if you choose to be in the future. I think for now you may want to focus on yourself, though. I got a guinea pig during a lonely time in my life, and part of my decision was because I was very depressed and lost. Norman gave me stability and happiness. But I also am focusing on my school, my friendships new and old, and my relationships (new and old too...off and on ex lol but thats besides the point)...the point is that I think you are the kind of person who could be a little happier and I'd hate to see someone like you or I put our absolute everything into something like this and be so devastated. I think it's great how much we care about animals, but we can't let things out of our control like this bring us completely down, you know? I hope that makes sense. What I'm saying is I think you could use some you time to heal.

Anyway I read the whole thing and I really, really think I have a bit of understanding and can relate to you a bit. I hope my message helped a little bit and I wish you the best in everything.

 

[wannabegangster]

I am so sorry for your loss. I went through the exact same thing.
I was dogsitting for my mother, and they have been around the cage on several occasions with no interest, and it was almost the third week of dog sitting and I went outside to get the mail and came back to find the 2 of my 3 boys outside the cage, one dead, one dying. My sweet boys. My boyfriend had left the day before to go to his brother's graduation in Texas. I was all alone and freaking hysterical.



Once again, I'm so, so sorry for your loss. Don't blame yourself. It's no one's fault. Some things just happen, and sometimes it sucks really, really bad.
I promise it will get better. You sound like a wonderful pig mom with bad luck.

Keep your head up, girl.