Why can't we all get along?

[sdpiggylvr]

Why can't we all get along - I mean really! People need to grow up a bit and learn to stand up for themselves. And nobody I've met on here is mean like everyone says they are.
I'm really confused...lots of people talk about how they have been abused, yelled at, threatened, critcized - and I'm getting sick of it! I haven't had any of that happen to me and I think people should really take care of themselves in these situations, by standing up for themselves or simply moving on. They dwell on the issue too long and suddenly it seems like it's happening all the time. Has anybody experienced these things? And what's your opinion about the matter? How can we resolve this? I am nice and welcoming to everybody on this site and I never answer threads with criticism or rude comments. And the mods - don't get me started with the things people have said about mods in this section! People don't think logically sometimes.

[angiekay]

I agree with you, I think some come to this forum looking for answers, then they don't get the answer they are looking for, or are given some critism for their actions in regards to gp care or whatever, then they get all huffy and can't even stop themselves when they start ranting about it! I mean you would think they were young teenagers, but these are mostly grown adults acting this way, it's ridiculous!!

I love this site, I think the mod's are great, and IF I'm doing something wrong, I don't care how they tell me to correct myself, as long as it betters the care and life of my animals!! That's what I'm here for after all, and sharing the love of gp's with others who share the same.

[trump_cinnamon]

I think people should be kind, but you haven't seen the PM's that take place in private. So don't go judging the whole site on the basis of the threads.

I do think the mods are harsh. There's no question about it. They may say "it's for the good of the site!" I'm not buying it. Of course, some things are great; the recommended care for instance, I think we all believe in big cages! (For the most part anyways...) And great, the mods enforce and believe in good care. That's good.

However, there are some rules, (or should I say laws?) that tick me off. Such as the "no more than 3 smilies per post rule". Say I posted something 6 paragraphs long. I would want to set the mood for each paragraph with a smilie, but can I? NO! Of course not! I will get a rude PM saying I broke the rules. Lovely.

There are quite a few rules such as that one, which are just unnecessary.

And the mods always post with a certain hint of superiority. Like, "I'm better than you, my name is written in green. Whatever I say goes. Even if I am wrong. I don't care about your opinion."

Take Paula for instance. (Nothing against her, I just read her posts before and after she became a mod.) She gave good advice, and seemed like a nice person. And I'm sure she is a nice person! But I don't know what it is about the mods! When she became a mod, she started talking like all the other mods. It's like they are all talking in a monotone.

Anyways, that's just my opinion on it all. I really do like this site, but there's something.... offsetting about some rules and some mods...

[angiekay]

Originally Posted by trump_cinnamon

I think people should be kind, but you haven't seen the PM's that take place in private. So don't go judging the whole site on the basis of the threads.

I do think the mods are harsh. There's no question about it. They may say "it's for the good of the site!" I'm not buying it. Of course, some things are great; the recommended care for instance, I think we all believe in big cages! (For the most part anyways...) And great, the mods enforce and believe in good care. That's good.

However, there are some rules, (or should I say laws?) that tick me off. Such as the "no more than 3 smilies per post rule". Say I posted something 6 paragraphs long. I would want to set the mood for each paragraph with a smilie, but can I? NO! Of course not! I will get a rude PM saying I broke the rules. Lovely.

There are quite a few rules such as that one, which are just unnecessary.

And the mods always post with a certain hint of superiority. Like, "I'm better than you, my name is written in green. Whatever I say goes. Even if I am wrong. I don't care about your opinion."

Take Paula for instance. (Nothing against her, I just read her posts before and after she became a mod.) She gave good advice, and seemed like a nice person. And I'm sure she is a nice person! But I don't know what it is about the mods! When she became a mod, she started talking like all the other mods. It's like they are all talking in a monotone.

Anyways, that's just my opinion on it all. I really do like this site, but there's something.... offsetting about some rules and some mods...

Yea I get that, and there are a few others, and I guess I can understand the "thinking" behind making such "rules"; however, it is a forum and they have said before that younger kids come here, well, most younger kids have cell phones these days and talk in slang texting terminology, but that's not allowed either. I mean I guess I would more understand it if it WERE some political site, or criminal justice forum, or something leaning towards such strict rulings on punctuation, slang talk, abbreviated terms and things of that nature.

But overall I like the forum and have learned loads from here, just have to do my best to follow the "rules".

[sdpiggylvr]

No, no, I'm not judging the whole site at all! I think it's a great site and I really enjoy being on here. I am just saying that there are several people who are very...opposed to the site and its members/mods.
I guess I understand why the mods are here and that without them this place would be a madhouse, but it does kind of aggrivate me when I get a PM saying I did something wrong. It's usually about something I wouldn't have even thought would be against the rules, and that annoys me a little bit. But I appreciate the mods for taking care of this site and being the rule-enforcers, but sometimes they go over the top a bit - like the "only 3 smilies per thread" rule. That's a little silly, to me. I mean, I understand that people shouldn't post a bajillion smilies but most of us on here know that, it's common sense. They should up it to 5 smilie limit, in my opinion.
But I guess when it's all said and done, I'd rather have the mods than not. They do make the forum the great place it is, but I think the rules should be a little more tolerant.

[Peggysu]

The mods keep the forum clean. No fluff and I like it that way. Clean and simple to the point. I'm glad there isn't any chat speak, because I wouldn't be able to understand it.

I've had some private messages sent to me and I felt they were professional.

It's not right to read into someones tone. Everyone interprets it differently.

Oh and if you don't know the rules or have problems following them, read them.

[lissie]

I love this site. I come here all the time and have never had issues with the mods here. I think the rules are here to keep this place a nice place for people to learn. English is not my primary language, and I believe the same for many others. If there are no rules about grammar, punctuations, and chat speaks, this forum would be a lot harder to read.

[trump_cinnamon]

Originally Posted by Peggysu

Oh and if you don't know the rules or have problems following them, read them.

How does that even make sense? If you don't understand the rules.... read them?

[Ibbet]

Originally Posted by angiekay

Yea I get that, and there are a few others, and I guess I can understand the "thinking" behind making such "rules"; however, it is a forum and they have said before that younger kids come here, well, most younger kids have cell phones these days and talk in slang texting terminology, but that's not allowed either. I mean I guess I would more understand it if it WERE some political site, or criminal justice forum, or something leaning towards such strict rulings on punctuation, slang talk, abbreviated terms and things of that nature.

But overall I like the forum and have learned loads from here, just have to do my best to follow the "rules".

I do think a few rules are unnecessary but they are apart of the site and people should respect that.

I am actually thankful for the no slang, punctuation, and capitalization rule. I get so tired of reading things with bad grammar and/or in chat-speak, so this is a very nice change in my opinion.

[gooberific]

Originally Posted by Peggysu

The mods keep the forum clean. No fluff and I like it that way. Clean and simple to the point. I'm glad there isn't any chat speak, because I wouldn't be able to understand it.

I've had some private messages sent to me and I felt they were professional.

It's not right to read into someones tone. Everyone interprets it differently.

Oh and if you don't know the rules or have problems following them, read them.

And if you don't understand how someone meant for their tone to be taken... for piggies' sake, just ask them instead of flipping out! :D

(Edit - For some reason, my smile face isn't parsing and turning into a graphic. At least on my end. So that thing after my sentence is the big toothy grin...)

[Fudgenrolo]

Well I've said this before but I'll say it again!

I'm a member of several forums. Some of them I don't really go on hardly at all these days as the mods are so busy being 'nice' to members they don't correct things that are blatently wrong - important things that will have a serious impact on the lives of the animals the forum is supposed to be there to offer good advice on! For example; a hamster forum I use never corrects people that use tiny cages for their hamsters such as a Hamster Rody for a Syrian - which may mean nothing to non-hamster-people - but it's way, way too small for active rodents like Syrians.

Yet; instead of saying 'It's too small. It's cruel and you need to buy another cage for the well-being of your hamster' - they say things like 'well I've used one of those before and it's not too bad. Maybe you might want to upgrade but if you can't it'll be fine' when it won't be fine!!

I was having a discussion on another forum today and the girl on it was feeding massive amounts of horrible mixed food to her rabbits. So I commented on it saying that pellets should be fed and in far smaller amounts. A mod comes on and says 'well it's not ideal but it'll probably be ok' - it's not ok!!

Animal care forums should be about the welfare of the animals and not about tickling forum users ears and playing to people's egos.

Yes there are ways of putting things but if someone is here then you can reasonably assume that they have already had *ample opportunity* to research via the internet and indeed via this forum so there is really no excuse for people coming here and posting (sometimes almost proudly!) about how their cage is too small but it'll be ok for now right? Everything this site is about says 'NO!' it most certainly is *not* ok! But people want to be told something different?

I have little time for people that don't research when they have access to the internet. Ignorance is not an excuse. I've researched extensively on every animal I've ever had - before the web that was via books - but how grateful I am for websites like this!! Thanks mostly to this forum; my Guinea Pigs have a wonderful life - a roomy cage, pleasant, comfortable bedding (that doesn't have to be thrown away every week!) and good nutritious food. I wouldn't have had a clue without this website.

So thanks to the mods for doing what they do.

[sdpiggylvr]

Peggysu, I posted this thread so that I could voice my opinion, not get people mad at me. So this thread is just my opinion, and if you don't agree, that's ok. I understand the rules clearly and I follow them. I don't really have anything against the mods, and I do appreciate their presence, but at times I do not enjoy their PMs. I agree with trump_cinnamon slightly about the hint of superiority in their PMs which sometimes are a bit rude or annoying, and don't exactly add to your already low self-esteem. I just wish the rules were only necessary rules. But I do appreciate the mods, I really do, it's just I wanted to voice my opinion and hear others'.

[Paula]

Originally Posted by trump_cinnamon

I think people should be kind, but you haven't seen the PM's that take place in private. So don't go judging the whole site on the basis of the threads.

If your implication is that there's abusive behavior going on behind the scenes that give folks justification for going off on rants and tangents about how horrible and awful the moderators and sometimes members are, I ask that you do the same thing you're asking here. Don't judge the entire forum on private messages you haven't seen, and don't base your opinion on something that may or may not have happened in private.

Originally Posted by trump_cinnamon

However, there are some rules, (or should I say laws?) that tick me off. Such as the "no more than 3 smilies per post rule". Say I posted something 6 paragraphs long. I would want to set the mood for each paragraph with a smilie, but can I? NO! Of course not! I will get a rude PM saying I broke the rules. Lovely.

I imagine there are a great many places, particularly those that involve an online group of people, where there are rules you aren't going to like and personalities you could do without. Such is life and it's something everyone deals with and has to adjust to sooner or later. I suspect there are also always going to be people that have a problem with authority, or perceived authority, which is probably the case in at least some of the situations here.

[Peggysu]

Originally Posted by trump_cinnamon

How does that even make sense? If you don't understand the rules.... read them?

Read the rules, plain and simple. Most people complain about the rules because they haven't even read them, when in reality it's plain common sense.

[sdpiggylvr]

Fudgenrolo, not everybody is like-minded as you, so there are people who don't do a lot of research before getting a pet. And thank goodness there are these types of sites for those who don't. You can't make everybody out to be ignorant for not taking several days to research a pet. Most people don't have that time, but good for you. I know lots of people who don't think about their guinea pigs like the people do on this site. Not everybody is as cavy-savvy, so accept that! Please don't post an arrogant reply to my "opinion" thread. Just like you, there are people who don't know that pigs need Oxbow pellets, or a certain type of hay, or 1 cup of mixed vegetables every day - that's not a given! I didn't feed exactly what I was supposed to before I found this site, and I still don't. I feed Oxbow pellets, Tim. hay, and mixed vegetables, but not the "one cup per pig daily" rule, because that is excessive in my opinion as the guinea pigs are veyr small animals and do not need that much. They have lived healthy lives for years on this diet. So for those people on here who are "ignorant" to you, just reconsider that label as most people mean well but don't do what you do.

[princesspoppy]

I can see this thread going on for days. I personally have no problems with any mods or the rules and what goes on in private message between a member and a mod should stay in a PM and not openly moaned about in a public thread. If you can't follow the rules then don't join the site. It's thats simple. And if you do join and don't like it,then leave without a fuss.

[angiekay]

Originally Posted by sdpiggylvr

Fudgenrolo, not everybody is like-minded as you, so there are people who don't do a lot of research before getting a pet. And thank goodness there are these types of sites for those who don't. You can't make everybody out to be ignorant for not taking several days to research a pet. Most people don't have that time, but good for you. I know lots of people who don't think about their guinea pigs like the people do on this site. Not everybody is as cavy-savvy, so accept that! Please don't post an arrogant reply to my "opinion" thread. Just like you, there are people who don't know that pigs need Oxbow pellets, or a certain type of hay, or 1 cup of mixed vegetables every day - that's not a given! I didn't feed exactly what I was supposed to before I found this site, and I still don't. I feed Oxbow pellets, Tim. hay, and mixed vegetables, but not the "one cup per pig daily" rule, because that is excessive in my opinion as the guinea pigs are veyr small animals and do not need that much. They have lived healthy lives for years on this diet. So for those people on here who are "ignorant" to you, just reconsider that label as most people mean well but don't do what you do.

This is exactly why I have a hard time "expressing" my personal opinions here, I agree with you, but I'm sure will not be "thanked" for doing so! I didn't know exactly what I was doing after getting my 1st pig either, I have learned alot from this site, and I agree, 99% of the pigs up for adoption on CL have most likely never had veggies, they just don't know, and trust in whatever the petstore has told them, which in most cases is very wrong, I understand that with a little research that could be remedied; however, it's just unlikely that EVERYONE will research before getting pet.

I went to meet a lady that had a pig who was INFESTED with mites, and "had" 2 pigs, and when I told her about the mites, she was floored, and stunned and I also informed her that they could get so bad they could cause the pig to have seizures, oh wow, then she says to me "oh, that's probably what happened to my other pig!" I was very shocked, but this is the thinking of most people, really, it's horrible. I unfortunately couldn't take the pig, risking my other pig, and not feeling confident enough myself about nursing him back to health, but I gave her the rescue where I got my other pigs phone number and address and told her to take him there ASAP, which she did, and I know that lady will nurse him back to health.

[blackarrow]

Originally Posted by sdpiggylvr

You can't make everybody out to be ignorant for not taking several days to research a pet. Most people don't have that time, but good for you. I know lots of people who don't think about their guinea pigs like the people do on this site. Not everybody is as cavy-savvy, so accept that!

Taking a living being into one's home and care without having bothered to take the time to learn what it needs is a pretty good working definition of ignorant in my book. A lot of people end up making up the ground after the fact, which I appreciate, but it's still not a good plan to do it that way. A lot of people also just toss up their hands and figure if the care for the animal is not intuitively obvious, it must not be important, and other people ought to just "accept" their (ignorant) point of view on animal care. No thanks.

[sdpiggylvr]

Blackarrow - I see your point, but that's not what I mean. I think you interpreted my words wrong. See, I don't mean they impulsively adopt a guinea pig and then come on here to learn. I mean they learn the basic stuff, but don't go totally in depth to become a cavy expert! I'm not offering excuses for people who don't take the time to learn about a guinea pig, but at least they do when they come on here!

Maybe I shouldn't have expressed my opinion, as it seems to have created a lot of friction between members, and also sparks some heated debates. I just thought maybe other people were feeling the same way, and I wanted to hear what they thought to - not start a fight.

[sdpiggylvr]

I've obviously turned people against me, and that's not what I wanted. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have posted this thread.