Concerns about attitude to Naive newcomers

[stubblychin]

A lot of the time when I am reading threads where new people have come for advice I am finding that a lot of the replies are aggressive, hostile and condescending. I see a lot of people we could help running off to other forums where they could find breeding tips, bad habits, etc.

As we are trying to promote a better way of doing things we need to educate. To do that we need to become teachers. When you were at school which teachers did you learn best from and want to listen to?

The ones who talked down to you, were aggressive, who told you were wrong all the time?

Or the ones who discussed things in a friendly manner, treated you on equal terms and who took the time to explain things properly?

I know what the majority answer would be! We aren't going to get anywhere jumping down people's throats. If someone comes here with good intentions and is willing to listen they shouldnt be scared off by some of the posts like I have seen in some threads. Otherwise we are failing pigs we could potentially help.

Also it is obvious that a number of people don't seem to have the patience or the time to deal with some of the very naive newcomers. Maybe some of these threads should be left if you havent the time. This is a large forum with lots of users who are all knowledgable and someone is sure to pick up the thread and assist.

I am just airing some of my frustrations. This seems to happen a lot.

[katie84]

In response to this thread... I'd like to say I am one of those people who is being treated in this way.

I also think it is inappropriate for a thread to carry on slating me when I do not now have privileges to reply. Therefore, if you are going to stop a member from posting, or airing their views then you should close that certain thread.

This manner is inappropriate!


*This is feedback...and therefore my post should be approved*

[i-love-nev]

Best post I've seen in 1 week time!


Thank's

Megs

P.S the piggers send pink piggy lip kisses. :D

[cookie_gal]

I agree, some people do clearly come looking for an argument and obviously try to annoy other members but then there are the new / newish members who are clear naive or mis-informed who would be better with gentler handling. If someone feels attacked then of course they will bite back then we get the annoying arguments which end with that member going away and not learning what is best for their pig.

Stubblychin talks a lot of sense.

Its about the pigs...

[Calliso]

Originally Posted by cookie_gal

I agree, some people do clearly come looking for an argument and obviously try to annoy other members but then there are the new / newish members who are clear naive or mis-informed who would be better with gentler handling. If someone feels attacked then of course they will bite back then we get the annoying arguments which end with that member going away and not learning what is best for their pig.

Stubblychin talks a lot of sense.

Its about the pigs...

Yep and even for the people that look for an argumentI think often it would be best just to ignore them. Or to just lock the thread and or send them a warning and be done with it. Often I bet the annoying ones are just looking for attention and all people do by bickering back and forth with them is give them that attention.

But aye I agree I have seen newer members post that seem to genuinely want help but they get jumped on right away. So of course then they jump back. Then the back and forth bickering and snipping and what not begins. And in some cases eventually the new member will just say ok I am just going to leave. And sadly whereever they go isn;t likely to have as good as info as this place does.


But anyway Stubblychin GREAT post I think you basically hit the nail on the head here!
And your right especially on the part of there being plenty of knowledgeable users here. If a post a newbie makes makes someone frustrated and prone to snap at them..it;s not like someone else can;t come along and answer the question instead.

[Jennicat]

If you're honest with yourself, many of these "newcomers" ignore the entire forum's rules, and the webpage, just to join and post. It's rude to do so. Do you think if I went to any forum on the internet and went against their principles that I wouldn't get flak for it?

As I said, it's extremely rude to join a board without reading it's posting rules, it's guidelines, it's principles, etc. And I can understand that, to an extent, if there's a serious situation, but most people don't consider caging to be a serious situation. It's laziness not to read the site.

When you were at school which teachers did you learn best from and want to listen to?

The best teacher I had was a curmudgeon of a man who everyone in the school feared. His classes were the hardest, he cut us no slack, and he taught above a college level in high school. (Imagine my chagrin when my junior year of college, he was thanked in my text book.) I learned more there than in any other class, and won a national championship in the subject. :P

Otherwise we are failing pigs we could potentially help.

I take exception to this. The only people "failing" are owners who are willing to accept substandard care practices to save their internet feelings.


This is one of the few boards I frequent anymore, because all of the other boards are fluffy little clouds of sunshine, who will pat anyone on the back, regardless of their responsibility to their animals. It's refreshing to have a board that's about guinea pigs and not their over-sensitive owners.

[Getting.cavys]

Yes I had a experience on here where everyone jumped on me over a thread I thought was fine. I soon relised I was mistaken. As people were being very mean towards me. Being aggressive. People were saying how I did no reasearch of my own and just expecting others to do it for me. I mean that really hurts my feelings, So I was very upset and posted a pictures of 19 pages of A4 sheets of paper full of information I found to care for my piggies. I Dont know why I stayed on the site when a large amount of people wrote horrible post making me feel horrible or like a peice of trash on the pathway and all passers by would stamped making me feel like dirt. It was not a nice feelin. Oh I do know why I stayed! A small amount of peopl stuck by me and supported what I said or kindly corrected me.

After a I corrected my mistakes people started treating me with some respect!

I now have made some loverly friends, and likeeveryone that offers me help and support nicely. I help others the way I would like to be helped. I just wish I had the weloming others had.

Luckly for you guys I stayed lol. hehehe.

P.s Love you all now of course.

[stubblychin]

Originally Posted by Jennicat

If you're honest with yourself, many of these "newcomers" ignore the entire forum's rules, and the webpage, just to join and post. It's rude to do so. Do you think if I went to any forum on the internet and went against their principles that I wouldn't get flak for it?

As I said, it's extremely rude to join a board without reading it's posting rules, it's guidelines, it's principles, etc. And I can understand that, to an extent, if there's a serious situation, but most people don't consider caging to be a serious situation. It's laziness not to read the site.

The internet is a fast medium where people come looking for answers. This is a big site and some people probably find some of it overwhelming so come straight to the forum to get an answer. I don't think that is so unreasonable. A lot of people are just looking for clarification.

Originally Posted by Jennicat

The best teacher I had was a curmudgeon of a man who everyone in the school feared. His classes were the hardest, he cut us no slack, and he taught above a college level in high school. (Imagine my chagrin when my junior year of college, he was thanked in my text book.) I learned more there than in any other class, and won a national championship in the subject. :P

The problem with my analogy though is that no one is compelled to stay here unlike they are at a school. People can and will just walk away.

Originally Posted by Jennicat

I take exception to this. The only people "failing" are owners who are willing to accept substandard care practices to save their internet feelings.

This is one of the few boards I frequent anymore, because all of the other boards are fluffy little clouds of sunshine, who will pat anyone on the back, regardless of their responsibility to their animals. It's refreshing to have a board that's about guinea pigs and not their over-sensitive owners.

If our aim is to improve piggies lives then if we scare off potential disciples then we may well have failed a pig. It doesnt take much to approach a person in a different way thus providing a better life for a pig. Trust me, it's all about the pig!

[Jennicat]

Originally Posted by stubblychin

The problem with my analogy though is that no one is compelled to stay here unlike they are at a school. People can and will just walk away.

His class was an optional class. He had people transfer in from across the country because he had won more national championships than any other living teacher in the subject. He actually had a waiting list for some years of student teachers from the local college who vied for positions student teaching under him.

Originally Posted by stubblychin

If our aim is to improve piggies lives then if we scare off potential disciples then we may well have failed a pig. It doesnt take much to approach a person in a different way thus providing a better life for a pig. Trust me, it's all about the pig!

You're really assuming that just because things are said nicely that they will take root. In my personal experience, people who want to change, will change, regardless of how they are approached. They care for their animals.

People who do not want to change will not. They are more concerned with their feelings, and being right than with the well being of their animals.

Sadly, I think the larger part of the problem is that a huge part of our userbase are children. Adults are usually reasonable enough not to get all worked up about an internet forum and stomp off with their toys to sulk about it. (Although there are notable exceptions)

[Getting.cavys]

Well, Jennicat.
I think your attitude stinks to be honest thats all im going to say!

[Calliso]

Originally Posted by Jennicat

I take exception to this. The only people "failing" are owners who are willing to accept substandard care practices to save their internet feelings.


This is one of the few boards I frequent anymore, because all of the other boards are fluffy little clouds of sunshine, who will pat anyone on the back, regardless of their responsibility to their animals. It's refreshing to have a board that's about guinea pigs and not their over-sensitive owners.

On the thought of internet feelings that got me thinking of what may be part of the problem here. It is often VERY easy to forget there is an actual person writting a post. I know myself have often forgotten that because it is easy too when you can;t either see or hear the person. But really there is no such thing as internet feelings..pixels can;t feel..however people can. Also I donlt think any of us here are asking people to pat the backs of anyone and everyone regardless of how they want to treat or do treat their guinea pigs. You can be firm and truthful and at the same time be nice. You donlt have to be rude or condesending or just mean in general to get a point across.

[katie84]

Originally Posted by Jennicat

Sadly, I think the larger part of the problem is that a huge part of our userbase are children. Adults are usually reasonable enough not to get all worked up about an internet forum and stomp off with their toys to sulk about it. (Although there are notable exceptions)

No sorry I am no child and I am not worked up, well I wasn't worked up to begin with but as I am constantly being slater. I am definately taking this matter further. This is certainly out of line!

[thalestral]

Jennicat's attitude does not stink. She doesn't need me to jump in and defend her but I take real offence at that. She does more for guinea pigs than many people here put together, and has more experience with those claiming to be asking for help.

For the record, this forum is the most relaxed one I am a member of. On a forum my partner moderates threads get shut down if a person obviously hasn't used the search function as it is considered so rude to expect members to answer the same questions over and over when a search provides all the information you need.

You catch more flies with honey but at the same time, when you've been trying to get through to so many people for so long it becomes very apparent when you are talking to someone who is going to put their selfish needs first no matter what.

[Jennicat]

Ah poo, Thal, I'm mostly an ogre that eats people. :)

[Getting.cavys]

Ok I have changed my mind and have decided to explain my point. I dont mean to be rude although it came across a bit mean but knew no other why to explain what I meant. As i had my own unfair experience of being treated like poop! You remember my first thread? Ermm the introduction one? Everyone jumped on me without giving me a chance or kindly explaining anything, Do you think thats fair? I sure didn't and I definatly did not sulk away with my toys lol. I tried to fix it and explain that they were wrong to speak to me that way. It hurt, people saying mean things did not help me change. Its the ones that stuck by me all the way that helped me.
Not the aggressive ones.

Thats what I meant by your attitude stinks. Sorry if you meant I thought different.

But I am glad I styaed. :)