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Thread: A little hesitant about posting this...sorry

  1. #1
    Cavy Slave CrazyMom's Avatar
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    Thumbs down A little hesitant about posting this...sorry

    Ok, I am going to catch flak for this, but I just don't know if I can keep coming to this website. Most people are awesome on here. They are a big help and patient, but some people are just plain rude and mean. I am honestly scared to post on here sometimes because of the reaction that some people give. I am just realizing this from reading through other posts and seeing some of the rude comments out there.

    I think people need to realize that not everyone is the "perfect" pig owner. Some are just learning, some of us are just doing the best we can with the resources and knowledge that we have.

    I understand needing to get the information out there, and imparting your knowledge on other people, but come on learn a little tact!

    I don't like confrontation, so I don't know if this site is always friendly to the learning cavy owner.

    For those of you who are helpful and polite, thank you. I will always take your advice over the rude people out there that feel like they are God's gift to cavys.

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    Cavy Slave kourt1313's Avatar
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    Re: A little hesitant about posting this...sorry

    Don't feel bad @CrazyMom I'm starting to feel the same way too. I'm very new to owning GP's and... I just don't know. I don't want to say too much because I don't want to cause problems but some tact really would be nice around here.

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    Cavy Slave HannibalLecter's Avatar
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    Re: A little hesitant about posting this...sorry

    Most are not rude what I've seen, but very straight forward. This is one of the few forums where most members don't fluff everything up, but just goes straight for the information needed. The only heated conversations I've seen lately are the ones where animals are in harms way, I completely avoid the "kitchen" area because of this.

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  7. #4
    Cavy Slave Kimberly713's Avatar
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    Re: A little hesitant about posting this...sorry

    I've been a member of this site for awhile now. I completely understand where you are coming from. I have many times seen replies, from well respected and knowledgeable people even, that just did not need to be said. It sometimes feels like the way some people word things makes you feel incompetent, right? Like you should have known that about your pigs already.

    I think it comes down to they have been doing things a particular way with their pigs so long they feel like it's basically common sense at this point. Many may not even realize they sound so forward and downright rude at times. I believe there is a difference in pushing ideas and presenting ideas, often times things are pushed on people around here, which makes people have to stand back and either digest it, or they are scared away like you say you are on the edge of doing yourself.

    Still, this website has a vast amount of guinea pig information, and I learned most of what I know starting with this forum. I feel like I'm a pretty good owner. I try to give solid advice and information to others, but even I have probably come across as rude to someone a few times on some of the issues I feel more strongly about. Nobody is perfect, and I would suggest you stick around for the sheer amount of information you can learn to benefit your pigs. It's always nice to learn something new, my piggies are almost two and I know I'm still learning things about them. Hope you won't be scared off friend

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    Moderator / Cavy Star, Photo Contest Winner Inle_Rabbit's Avatar
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    Re: A little hesitant about posting this...sorry

    The only thing that bothers me is when people repeat, repeat, repeat some piece of information (usually very good information) that a member already said. There is a "thanks" button for supporting good information no need to repeat it can be overwhleming to new members and some people see it as attacking. Human beings after all get most of their information during a conversation through tone of voice and non-verbal ques so just text on a page can be hard to interpret tone and meaning especially since most posts are written in conversational speak.

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  11. #6
    Cavy Slave kourt1313's Avatar
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    Re: A little hesitant about posting this...sorry

    I think that's just it though, it may be common sense but new people join every day. Yes, while questions may be asked multiple times and it may be frustrating to members already here and educated, I think it needs to be understood that not everyone has the time to read through every forum. I do my best to research before asking something, but sometimes a symptom doesn't fall into a cookie cutter signal of something and therefore, I ask. I joined here because I like how if I really am concerned, I can get a response just about immediately. That being said though, I do feel sometimes responses come across as though a child is being spoken to. I realize most new GP owners are children/teenagers, but there are those of us out there too that are older that are wanting to learn just as much so we can provide the best care. I just think new people deserve a little more patience. Would you rather we learn from you or somewhere else less educated?

  12. #7
    Cavy Newbie Wildcavy's Avatar
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    Re: A little hesitant about posting this...sorry

    I had been reading the forum for about 3 months or so before I joined, and waited several days before I even introduced myself. I actually enjoy a good argument and yet I still found some of the responses off-putting. But the more that I read the site, and the more that some of the "regulars" reveal about their histories with cavies and other animals (and people), the more that some of the passionate and abrupt answers make sense. The issue of breeders will get me going every single time, but even folks on the same page as I am have differing opinions on how to interact with the pro-breeding folks on this site.

    It's helped me to realize that this isn't my site, either -- I can post and blog but ultimately I am a guest. I walk away from reading it sometimes for days because I get frustrated, or because people keep saying things are all there on the site already, when this site is not nearly as transparent to navigate as the old-timers might think, both to native English speakers and those who learned it as another language (ask me how long it took me to understand what a "sticky" was). But there is so much great info and so many wonderful people, it balances out.

    I sympathize with people who answer a question and then, because the asker doesn't like the response, the asker tries to reframe the question several times. And as far as people repeating, repeating, repeating some info that someone else said -- it's annoying sometimes, but sometimes a person is in the middle of posting when two other people are also, so the responses come up at the same time and seem redundant. It's happened to me and to other folks I know.

    But the most un-nerving part of posting is that many times I feel like I have to hyper-analyze every statement or point, because inevitably there is someone who is looking for a possible flaw. Not many folks, but there are a few. And ironically, they sometimes don't read the question carefully and then jump on people, when they are the ones who aren't really reading the question. So you can probably go through many of my posts and you will find them generally really long, like this one, because I want to cover every contingency. It doesn't really work all the time but it makes me feel better about posting.

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    Cavy Slave LaurenB16's Avatar
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    Re: A little hesitant about posting this...sorry

    I definitely can relate to this. If this site wasn't so full of good information, I probably wouldn't come back. Some people are very judgmental and rude in their comments and don't seem to realize that I'm not a child.
    Sure, these are the first guinea pigs I've owned, and I may have read every book I can, but I joined for the little things that only people with experience can provide. I don't need to be jumped on every time I say something.

    I agree with you, we're trying to learn, but speak to us like adults, not like we're totally incompetent.

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    Cavy Slave SurfingPigs's Avatar
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    Re: A little hesitant about posting this...sorry

    I would have to agree that most of the comments that are called rude end up being just the blunt, honest truth. I have been told I am "attacking" and "yelling" in some posts, but if you read those posts, I am merely being honest about the facts and reality. Many times people post with the hopes that everyone will come and give them lots of positive reinforecement, especially when it comes to the breeding issue. People don't like to hear facts that go against what they choose to believe, and I think this causes them to feel attacked.

    Coming to a pro-rescue website and posting about breeding pigs or wanting to buy from a breeder is beyond a mindless mistake. These are the posts that get the most flak. If you do that, you will surely get some healthy, heartfelt responses... many of which will be about the undeniable truth of breeding, that it causes plenty of pain and death.

    Nobody has been berated here for asking questions. Those who state that they know everything and proceed to make statements that are contrary to common knowledge are kindly reminded to drop the elitist attitude and try to learn a thing or two. However, those who come genuinely looking for help get it from very experienced owners who care, and they always get kind responses. Sorry if there aren't a ton of smileys in the responses, but you get damn fine advice here. We implore everyone to stick around, learn, and ask all the questions they can, even the people who have outed themselves as breeders.

    This is a public internet forum. I don't understand how people get their emotions so wrapped up in how people respond to them.This is a place for public discussion and disagreement happens. It is healthy and helps us all think about our positions on things. I am sure that I have opinions that some don't agree with, and that is fine. Everyone is free to their own opinion. Don't be afraid to share yours... I don't think anyone here has ever been injured posting (unless you count carpel tunnel).

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  18. #10
    Cavy Newbie Wildcavy's Avatar
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    Re: A little hesitant about posting this...sorry

    @SurfingPigs, the original poster is just stating her perception of how this forum appears to newer members / guests. Sometimes someone asks a good question, and the initial responses are friendly and direct from oldtimers, and then someone else comes in and derails the initial conversation, so the whole thread becomes hostile when the original poster of the thread just asked a basic question.

    Your own response above is rather intense, particularly the jab about there not being a lot of smileys. You may not understand how people can get their emotions wrapped up in how people respond to them; sometimes I don't either. But the fact remains that some people do, and the question keeps coming up. It doesn't mean the forum has to change, and for issues such as breeding I hope people keep firing off hard, direct answers. But "feelings" are neither right nor wrong.

    And I disagree with your statement that no one has caught flak for asking a genuine question (i.e., not about breeding or such nonsense). It usually happens when the person responding doesn't really bother to read the original question.

    I agree that public discussion is good and disagreement happens, and that it can be healthy to think about our positions on things. But this also implies that we are willing to entertain the idea that we are wrong about something. I do NOT mean something like being breeding being wrong or ways to properly treat your cavy. But it may be being willing to think that different people perceive tone differently and that the fact that you may have a thick hide doesn't mean that there is something wrong with people who do not.

    People most definitely are negatively affected by things posted in a public forum. Pick up a newspaper.

    I'm not asking anyone to tone anything down that has to do with protecting the welfare of a cavy or other animal. Some people may need a virtual smack on the head. Others just need redirection, perhaps without the snark.

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    Cavy Slave Eimear's Avatar
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    Re: A little hesitant about posting this...sorry

    I also think people need to realise that this is an internet forum so there is absolutley no point in taking anything some one says to you personally, they dont know you, is their opinion of you or how you look after your pigs really going to affect your life in any real way? people shouldnt be so sensitive and take the site for what it is; an excellent guinea pig information resource.

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    Administrator bpatters's Avatar
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    Re: A little hesitant about posting this...sorry

    I'll respond to this, because there are several points I'd like to make.

    Most of the time, people who take the time to post thoughtful, carefully worded questions that are easy to understand get thoughtful, carefully worded answers back. Not every time, because people, including the moderators, are only human, but most of the time.

    It is an information-sharing forum, and those of us who moderate it, and many other knowledgeable posters as well, spend a great deal of time reading the dozens of posts every day, and try to give the best answers we possibly can. For me, at least, that means I'm usually going to take the shortest route to an answer that I can, simply because of the time involved. My focus is on getting you the information you asked for or have indicated that you need, not on anything else.

    My other focus is on making sure that egregiously wrong information gets corrected. There are some care issues that knowledgeable guinea pig people disagree on, and we let those discussions run.

    But if you post blatantly wrong information, it will get corrected, and if it's wrong enough, it will get corrected in your original post. We have too many relatively new guinea pig people to let some things go by when the information is very detrimental to the health of guinea pigs. I don't know whether you pay attention to things like that or not, but if you watch for a while, you'll see posters come on who admit they're getting their first guinea pig, and two weeks later they're issuing advice as if they've cared for hundreds of pigs over the last twenty years. They cut and paste things from other websites without having a clue whether that's accurate information, but then get all bent out of shape when someone tells them it's no good.

    But there's another side here that some of you are not considering. You don't have to deal with the people who make multiple accounts and use them to support a particular viewpoint they're trying to push, often but not always one that involves breeding.

    You don't have to deal with the people who PM you because they want some simple question answered just for them, when the information is already all over the forum, and even if it needed to be answered again, it would be better put in the forum where other people can see the answers.

    Most of you are very good about reading the information in the answers. But it is beyond annoying to write out an answer to a question, and then have the original poster ask the same question over and over again, in the same thread, because they either didn't like the answer or didn't take the time to read what had been posted.

    I'm not sure why there are people who don't use the search function. Yes, I know it doesn't always find exactly what you want, or it may sometimes find too many answers. But it often works to bring up exactly what you want. There's really no value in having a "new" answer given to you when there's one already out there that will do.

    I'm not complaining about the amount of time the forum takes. The moderators do it because we love guinea pigs, and we're willing to share the information we have. But we do spend more time than is absolutely necessary to get the job done because some people aren't willing to look up the information themselves.

    So maybe the changes in behavior ought to work both ways. I'm willing to make an effort to be more tactful. In exchange, I'd appreciate people not taking offense where none is intended, being more responsible about finding information that is already on the forum, and recognizing that there are sometimes things that go on behind the scenes that you know nothing about. Deal?

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  23. #13
    Cavy Slave CrazyMom's Avatar
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    Re: A little hesitant about posting this...sorry

    SurfingPigs: I agree that things should not be sugar coated...mostly. But I have found that approaching someone in an aggressive way (regardless if your view is correct) often just turns people off and causes them to go about their actions. Coming to this site and admitting to breeding/ supporting breeding is just dumb. In regards to emotions: people are sensitive and are looking for positive reinforcement. You can positively reinforce someone without berating. Not saying as in you personally).
    Wildcavy: I feel the hyper analyzing. I always reread my posts several times before posting to make sure I properly described everything and didn't misconstrue anything. What is a "sticky" anyways?

    I think the biggest problem for most people is that text can only portray so much of an idea. You cannot hear the desperation in someones voice if they are worried, you can not here the concern of a passionate contributor. I will stick around, I wrote the original post in a moment of irritation after seeing some people post really stupid things on pictures.


    There is so much good information on here. Originally I joined because I am really the only one in my household that gives a damn about guinea pigs and I enjoy sharing the passion (a somewhat bazaar one) with others. Some need to realize that just because it says "Cavy Newbie" it does not mean you are new to the animal, it doesn't mean you are 15 and an airhead. Heck I bet there are some 15 year olds out there that take better care of their cavys then some adults.

    I am glad that that I could open this post and allow some people to air out their grievances.

    (SurfingPigs- that's to make up from your lack of smileys in your posts! j/k)


    P.S. by the time I posted this 4 other responses popped up. Holy cow!
    Last edited by CrazyMom; 02-02-12 at 10:48 am. Reason: messed up spelling and format.

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    Re: A little hesitant about posting this...sorry

    You have encouraged me not to post my 2 cents, since it will probably be ridiculed by an uber cavy slave with 10 billion posts. That is all.

  26. #15
    Cavy Slave SurfingPigs's Avatar
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    Re: A little hesitant about posting this...sorry

    The comment about a lack of smileys was facetious, and I think that @Wildcavy 's response illustrates the fact that sometimes people interpret things differently. I don't understand at all how my response is read as "intense". I have re-read it multiple times, and I think it was actually inviting and light. I didn't intend for the slightest bit of intensity was put into my post, and I intended none to be taken from it. I will try to be cognizant of how I come off to some people in the future, but I think often the drama glasses need to be removed by the reader.

    Sorry for my overarching statements, I should have used the caveat of "in general." In general, a genuine question is treated with respect. Nearly 20% of my posts have received thanks on this website, because I respond to questions with useful knowledge and help people out. I don't placate moody posters by filling my posts with fluff.

  27. #16
    Cavy Slave SurfingPigs's Avatar
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    Re: A little hesitant about posting this...sorry

    Quote Originally Posted by TCTrun View Post
    You have encouraged me not to post my 2 cents, since it will probably be ridiculed by an uber cavy slave with 10 billion posts. That is all.
    Me?

    Regardless, (and I am no authority on this forum) I hope that everyone realizes that they are free to share their 2 cents at all times. As long as simple rules are followed, you are allowed to post freely, and should feel welcome to.

    Even if, in the worst of cases, you say something that draws ridicule, why care? If it was a routine thing for people to be ridiculed here, that would be one issue, but that just isn't the case. If someone steps out of line and actually ridicules someone, the moderators will probably deal with it. Ridicule is defined as making fun of, and I rarely see anyone made fun of here... this isn't a playground full of kids. People are corrected, and often feel that being corrected equates to ridicule when it simply doesn't.
    Last edited by SurfingPigs; 02-02-12 at 11:04 am.

  28. #17
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    Re: A little hesitant about posting this...sorry

    Naw...you as in the thread...or, if you are from the south, y'all. This forum is extremely valuable for new cavy owners and I am so glad it's here, but I feel like I am in limbo. I've read hundreds of posts and asked several questions. Now I feel like I actually have sound knowledge about cavy care, so I don't really have much to ask. At the same time, I am hesitant to try to answer peoples ?s because a mod or cavy slave will answer them anyway and my advice is superfluous at best. At worst, I have posted something that a senior member disagrees with and get put in my place. If I did actually say something that can be interpreted as improper cavy care, then obviously I am ok with being corrected, even sternly. Just thinking aloud, wondering if I really have a purpose in being here.

  29. "Thank you, TCTrun, for this useful post," says:

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    Cavy Slave scarlettraven's Avatar
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    Re: A little hesitant about posting this...sorry

    Quote Originally Posted by CrazyMom View Post
    Ok, I am going to catch flak for this, but I just don't know if I can keep coming to this website. Most people are awesome on here. They are a big help and patient, but some people are just plain rude and mean. I am honestly scared to post on here sometimes because of the reaction that some people give. I am just realizing this from reading through other posts and seeing some of the rude comments out there.

    I think people need to realize that not everyone is the "perfect" pig owner. Some are just learning, some of us are just doing the best we can with the resources and knowledge that we have.

    I understand needing to get the information out there, and imparting your knowledge on other people, but come on learn a little tact!

    I don't like confrontation, so I don't know if this site is always friendly to the learning cavy owner.

    For those of you who are helpful and polite, thank you. I will always take your advice over the rude people out there that feel like they are God's gift to cavys.
    Well said ...this is my first and probably last post, I am a new member. It amazes me how judgemental people are on this site!! Wow, I came here for information on how to keep our 2 piggies healthy and happy. But the comments I read by alot of people are making me want to search for a new, more welcoming site.

  31. #19
    Cavy Slave SurfingPigs's Avatar
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    Re: A little hesitant about posting this...sorry

    @TCTrun : Post get corrected because these end up as archives that future users delve through. I can see where you are coming from and the position you are in now. When I first began posting I had mentioned some things that were wrong and got corrected, and I'm sure it will happen in the future. At first I was irritated and embarassed to be "called out", but then I realized the value of having correct information, and more importantly incorrect information, to be consisely and obviously noted. If you feel you have sound advice to add, add it. If you can't confirm the veracity of the advice you give, just provide a caveat while responding. There are people who ask questions that a lot of us have the knowledge to answer but the questions get overlooked.

    No advice is superfluous. A lot of advice comes from experience, and your experience counts. The more people who respond, even with a half a cent of knowledge to add, the more complete our views become. Your role is the same as all other users (mods being the exception), to participate and have fun talking about pigs. Hopefully everyone can feel welcome to do that.

  32. #20
    Cavy Slave Queen.anirbaS's Avatar
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    Re: A little hesitant about posting this...sorry

    I think this forum is the best out there in terms of information on your guinea pigs. That is what comes first, right? Put your personal sensitivity aside and use this site for the wellness of your Pigs. Also, if you feel reluctant to post because it may be considered as a "stupid" thread, I'm sure the comments/questions you are asking have already been answered somewhere on the site. That is the beauty of it.

    I think you should re-consider.

  33. "Thank you, Queen.anirbaS, for this useful post," say these 4 members:

    CavyMama (02-09-12), LoveMySnickers (02-04-12), Paula (02-04-12), pinky (02-02-12)

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