Is there something wrong with me??

[kourt1313]

I've had Matisse a couple of days now, and I have yet to feel that real connection and bond. Yes, I fell in love with him looking over the site for the last three weeks and Shelby is starting to love him as well (don't tell him that!). But I always hear people saying "Oh it's such an amazing bond and different feeling with a rescue animal." I don't see it I try to pet him or pick him up and he'll run away and when I do hold him he makes sounds as if he's annoyed (long drawn out wheeks, not hungry or happy sounding wheeks). I'm so used to this tiny little one that now flattens out for his favorite rubs and cuddles up under my chin and chases my hand around the cage. And I feel guilty when I pick up Matisse because Shelby runs around the cage and starts chutting/wheeking, but quiets down as soon as I put Matisse back and wants nothing to do with me for a few minutes. Do pigs get jealous? Is there something wrong with me or will a bond hopefully come soon?

[pinky]

Guinea pigs are prey animals and they will form a bond with you once they feel they can trust you. Offer him snacks while you hold him and give him the reasons to want to be held by petting him and handling him with care. It takes time a patience to socialize them.

[kourt1313]

Thanks =) I guess because it was so pathetically easy with Shelby, I sort of expected the same with Matisse. But I will say after posting this thread I went and got him and he curled up on my lap for a good 20 minutes all happy and content and chutting. I guess I was a little scared because every time I try and get him he fights me and he's a REALLY big guy and obviously I don't know if he has problem areas yet or anything. I did have the little jealousy issue with Shelby while Matisse was out and once I put him back, but I went and picked Shelby up and he ran right up under my chin for cuddles. Guess it was just an insecure moment!

[TCTrun]

Some piggies take way longer to warm up than others. I've have Sharon and Starbuck for 5 months now. Starbuck will cuddle for literally hours, while Sharon is ready to run laps after 5 min!

[CavyMama]

It's only been a couple of days. Pigs can take weeks, even months to get used to people. Just relax. Pigs aren't like cats or dogs that will warm up to people after a short time. Most pigs are never comfortable being picked up because their instinct is to hide but will settle once they are on someone's lap. No two pigs are the same. You were lucky that your first pig warmed up to you quickly but that is more the exception than the rule.

[pinky]

I like to try and see progress in baby steps. I have one that's still nervous and she's 4 years old. When I first got her, I couldn't even catch her. She's still really afraid. I can see her heart beating a mile a minute. She crouches low to the ground and comes up to me to get her veggies. She tries to grab and run so I hold on tightly so she can grab a bite but has to come back for more. I try and hold her to calm her down but she'll take off if I give her a chance. She's still really cute but is just a very shy little one. I think she's the lowest ranking guinea pig that I think I've ever had. She seems to lack the social skills that other guinea pigs find appealing so most of the time the others eat first, chase her, etc. but my senior always lets her share her pigloo with her so she's found her place. I think they're a lot more like humans than we think. Some people lack the social skills that help them interact with others while others are very social.

[bpatters]

Is there something wrong with me or will a bond hopefully come soon?

Nothing wrong but impatience. It can take weeks, months, or years for guinea pigs to warm up to their humans. Some do so quickly, some never do. Keep feeding him his favorite foods.

And ignore Shelby while you're holding Matisse. He isn't going to die of loneliness in the few minutes you're giving some attention to Matisse. And no, they don't get jealous, they just want the other pig back.

[Crystalkate]

It took a month for my rescue to not run into her hut ecerytime she saw me coming. I always walk very slow, and talk to her in a very soft voice so I don't scare her. She is getting much better. If she doesn't run and hide, I will get down to her level and pet her very slowly while talking to her. It takes a lot of patience like bpatters said. They just won't magically bond with you. Just like any relationship, you have to establish a trust first. But in the end it is all worth it.

[Gigabyte]

It takes a bit to bond. It's great to get one-on-one time with the pig and do a little spoiling by handfeeding something tasty, like cilantro. Works like a charm for me.

[PigPandemonium]

At first, my piggys wanted nothing to do with me. To them, we humans look like huge hungry lions. It's in there nature to run and hind. It takes a long time to get used to something much much bigger them themselves being around all the time, and not trying to gobble them up. Make sure to hold them everyday, and hand feed them treats, as pigs are very food loving. After a while they will warm up to you and let you into there hearts. It takes a lot of work, and will for sure not happen over night, but it's well worth the wait, when you hear your pigs purring with joy when you snuggle with them.

Best wishes,
Sara and the pigs

[jacqueline]

i agree with pinky, bout really noticing the small steps as encouraging signs that they're getting less scared. they run less quickly, the stay and sniff longer when you're close, they look at you even while they're hiding, etc. the other thing i'd like to add is that consistency and routine have been helpful for me and my boys. i'm kind of a routine person anyway. EVERYTIME i'm panning to go to their cage, i start saying "pig pig pig" in my happy voice, so they know i'm coming. i clean the cage the same 2 times every day, and talk to them in the same happy voice everytime. you get the idea. sometimes i'll just sit right next to their cage so my face is level with the coroplast, but maybe a foot or so away. they can com over and see me, but i don't interact with them at first. they can just get used to me sitting close to them while i watch TV or read. just keep doing what you're doing, and notice the smallest of improvements to encourage you. you and your pigs will be fine!

[Duffinvt]

My four sows always run from me! The older are going on four and the younger, going on two yrs. old. For floor time, I gently capture the first ones, then hold them (and they are fine). The remaining two now get up on a box hidey and turn their backs to me while hunching down, or go in a corner with their backs to me and let me catch them. It's as if they are saying "oh, ok, go ahead and do it, I don't like it at all, but want to go out with my pals!" When they want to go home, they'll rattle the fence and call to me. I use the tunnel method to transport them back and they push each other out of the way to get in the tunnel first ! I do use the same phrases for taking them out for floortime and going back to the cage and they do know what I am saying. If I say "who wants to go HOME?" they will line up for the tunnel. Oh, I use the tunnel so I do not have to chase them all over the floor to get them to go back. But I insist on hands to pick up while in the cage, to keep them used to my touch.

[Kieri]

when i got my first pig, elliot, i would hold her in my lap and she would rest half of her body on my hand, licking and nibbling on my hand. as i stroked her, she would stretch out her little back legs and slowly fall asleep.

however, when i got my second pig, obcy, she wanted NOTHING to do with my hands or lap. it's been several months and she still doesn't like being touched too much.

i think it's all in the pig's personality. however, i started doing something which has really helped obcy come around.

what i do is hand feed them. i don't plop veggies into the cage and walk away. for the past few weeks i have been reaching my arm into the cage with veggies in my hands. in order for both of my pigs to receive the veggies, they must come out of hiding and come up and take it from my hand.

elliot wasn't too scared of that idea at first, but obcy was hesitant and took a took a while to understand i wasn't trying to hurt her.

now when my pigs hear the rustling of a veggie bag, they begin wheeking and immediately run out of their hut. they stand up on the grids and eagerly wait for me to give them veggies. before, they fearfully sat in their huts, quietly wheeking. (well, elliot would usually come out and wheek a bit, but obcy would hide and i'd always have to drop the veggies in front of the hut).

good luck :3 just be patient and you'll soon bond with your little baby. i know what you mean by not feeling that connection right away. i felt it with elliot as soon as i got her, but obcy took a while to warm up to me and i felt bad about it and i didn't feel that bond.

[kourt1313]

Thanks guys. I don't think it's Matisse having a hard time anymore as much as it is me. He curls up in my lap now like a cat and looks at me with those "I have a home now" eyes. I think it's just me feeling like "I've missed out on one year of this guys life. What was he like when he was a baby? Who made him the way he is?" Unlike Shelby who's so young and I've been his only owner and is like "mommy!" when I walk into the room and almost talks to me. There's so much personality there and Matisse is SUCH a mellow guy but again they are completely different ages. It's a huge difference. Maybe he's just waiting for me to come around to him now!

[kourt1313]

So I was waiting for that moment to "click" with Matisse. For something to just make me get all warm and fuzzy over him, the way I feel about Shelby. I was automatically stand-offish after adopting him as described earlier in this thread, than I began to get frustrated with all the vet visits wondering if they would ever end, and I just didn't feel the bond forming. Well it finally happened. He was laying on my chest tonight after floor time as I was laying on the couch, he curled up on his side, stretched out a back leg, and put his little head under my chin. I just melted. It was like he was saying "Thank you for not giving up on me." It was just too adorable!!

[CavyMama]

Awww so glad to hear that the bonding moment finally happened. And see? Just 16 days ago, you were wondering why she didn't instantly relax with you. In a matter of weeks, you went from nothing to that melt moment you described.

The lesson here for any new guinea pig owner, as you learned, is just give them time. They need to be comfortable with their people on their own timeline, not on ours.

Tha bonding moment sounds so great! Glad you were able to experience that :-)

[kourt1313]

Thank you!!

[Nicolene]

I have to admit, and I think a lot of people feel this way, but we definitely develop different bonds with different animals, for whatever reason. I was absolutely, completely infatuated with my first pig (he passed yesterday). We got him a friend who was a teeny weeny tiny baby, and even though he was precious I didn't bond with him for at least a year. I fed him the same, I held him the same, I took the same amount of pictures of him, but Snickerdoodle was still my first love. With time I began to love Tuxie too. Just differently. Snickerdoodle was a pig with stones, and we bonded deeply over many a health crisis, I spent a lot of time worrying about him, while Tux was just a good boy, with no health issues. It's kind of like how a kid with a bad attitude gets all the parents' attention, while the well behaved sibling is just expected to be just that.

Now that my first love is gone I have to build a better repertoire with Tux. And I will admit, I'm so scared of getting another pig, what if I don't love the new one. But I can't stand to see Tuxie alone, so I'm excited for him to get a new friend, and I try to see the upside of "shopping" for a new piggy who needs a forever home.

Wow, talk about a tangent, sorry! What I'm trying to say is it takes time, months. Tux is a very skittish pig, who will run crazy 8s to get the heck away from us, but once you manage to catch him he curls up on your lap and watches TV for hours!

We just got a bunny, and she is also an instant love affair for me. And she's got sore hocks! I'm starting to see a pattern here, apparently I have a soft spot for extra needy animals.. oi!

Don't worry about it, it'll happen..

[CavyMama]

Don't worry about it, it'll happen..

Kourt was saying that it DID happen. The bonding with Matisse happened today. That's what the post was about.

[Nicolene]

Kourt was saying that it DID happen. The bonding with Matisse happened today. That's what the post was about.

I wrote this earlier and apparently didn't hit send in a timely fashion.