I thought I post a memory to everything I have lost in the last 3 years + every pet I've never gotten over losing. I just need a place to talk about these things. I think I will lose my mind if I dont. I will give an explanation of those with number after the memorial.
Its hurts when you realize you can never again go home because its doesn't exist. Due to the Mayer of your town seeing your area of the city as an eye sore to the town. I may have hated the tiny duplex I grew up in and the neighborhood that was filled with places just like our. It was a piece of our town that was filled with 70 years worth of memory's of the people who once lived there.
Past animals & housing I'd like to say goodbye to once last time
Torn apart and taken down in less then 19 months. To my dear home in west-park though you were old, small, and in-dire need of fixing. I wish I could see you just one last time. I will forever miss being able to see the pink crap-apple blossoms in the spring which I used to climb as a child from my bedroom window.
In memory of my fist cat Todd who I got at the age of 1 month who simple didn't come home around my 10th year, to his son puggie who disappeared that valentine year. To all his siblings who never saw their first month after dieing from parvo (1), to his sister who died in her 4th winter after the neighbor who we gave you to moved, to their other brother who had been re-homed who fell out a 5th story window.
To phoenix the dog that we saved from death that was put down before her 3rd year due to cancer (2), to his sister who was never found. To Tigger who we had to put down on memorials day (3). To Teral, our first guinea pig who died of old age who never saw his children, to coco his brother who fallowed you a few weeks later. To Cream, Callie, & Cinnamon who of old age years later.
In the last 3 years.... (since we moved homes)
To my step-grandfather who passed away in our first spring here after falling from a latter while changing a light. To my uncial James who passed suddenly of heart failure, we weren't close but I never thought of you not being around. To my hamsters Remus who died of old age a few weeks before - Syrian who died after being bit by a spider on mothers-day (4), Hammy who also died of old age a few weeks later. And last but not lest to my best friend Sara who passed on May 3rd of this year. I cant even explain the pain I feel by your death, the sadness, or the loneliness I feel (5).
*WARNING DO NOT READ THIS PART IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW DETAILS*
(1) The kitten died of parvo that was being transferred by the mothers milk. We manage to save 3 kittens of 3 litters. I was about 5 or 6 years old when this happened but basically the kitten would puff up like little balloons and die normal when I just happened to be watching them. I still have trouble looking at balloons without crying.
(2) Phoenix was a dog who had been found in the bushes by a childhood friend that came and got us. My family was known for taking in sick animals and helping them recover, not ever creature we saved made it but we tried our best to help or find someone that could. Anyways Phoenix & her sister who we never had belonged to another person who left them with a friend for the weekend, the dogs were let out of the house and that how we got her. She was in bad condition when we got to her, she was starved from being on the streets, patches of fer missing and has stopped breathing when my mother picked her up. We named her phoenix when she started breathing again once we reach our house. (about 30 seconds away) We had her for 1 month before finding a friend of her owners, we did meet them and they gave us proof they had owned her and her sister. It was decided since i was already attached to her that it would be best if we keep her. Less stress on the dog as well since she already had week vet visit due to the cancer, she was put to sleep the next summer when it worsened. We had her since spring of the fallowing year, I loved her very much no matter how short of a time we had together. I was only around 10 years old but just before her true owners took her to the vet to have her put down I gave her a mini chocolate bar since she was always trying to get one. We were given her ashes to remember her.
(3) its been 6 years since we lost Tigger, I still hurt when I think about how much pain he was in his last few days. He was named after the Winni the pooh charter Ti-double-gger but was a gray tabby instead of an orange one. His named tag even said that We found him lying in the tall grass next to our porch, he had been missing for a few days but we could tell something was wrong, no clinic was open as it was Sunday and around 11pm. We waited till the next morning except no-one realized the next day was memorial day, our vet was closed but we had realized his jaw was cracked or broken. I found an emergency hospital 3 hour away but we were off with him anyways. The vet found his jaw had been spider from the center, he spine was at the hip parlaying him from the hip down, & his left back leg was broken once again. The vet said they only way he could have gotten this way is if someone had hit him with their car then back up and hit him again. WHO could do that to animal! I still have no idea how we found him or how he made to the tall grass next to our porch. He had to crawl up a hill to our house from the main road. We were more then willing to pay to have them fix him, make him feel better but the vet said his jaw would never heal correctly and it would be more humain to put him down then to fix him. I made the hardest choice of my life that day since he was my cat. I let him go to the other side because loved him so much and could stand to see my baby boy in more pain. I'm only sharing this story in hopes it will help save another animal from sharing this same fate, PLEASE dont let your cats outside where it can get harmed by cars. Tigger was only 4 years old & I had him since he was 6 weeks old. I hope no one ever has to go through and please hold your kitty's close.
(4) Syrian death bothers me still because it was so sudden, she was fine one moment and gone the next. I was in fact on the phone with the vet when she died in my mothers hands. I had to go to my vets office and apology to her because I screamed in her ear at the moment my hamster passed. I have just found out my best friend had died earlier that morning so I may have been over stressed at that moment. We found a spider in the cage near where she died and I cleaned my hamsters cages nearly ever other day.
(5) Sara...I dont even know where to start about her. We meet in preschool when we were 4. We were 1 month 6 days apart and had been friends for most of our lives (we had the same friends but didn't know it) but we didn't re-meet till about 7 years ago. I cant explain how we loved each from the start we just did. we were more then 'like sisters' but our love wasn't like that of what 'lovers have'. I think our spirits were entwined and subconsciously we knew that so we were as close as we could be without crossing that 'lovers' line. Something happened just before I moved and she didn't talk to me for 4 months for some-reason. I felt betrayed and wouldn't let her in my live after we moved to our new apartment. I ran into her about 7 months ago & we talked for a bit. She seemed okay but had an underlining sadness. I've always been able to read how shes truly feeling. I wish I would have pushed for more when I asked if she was okay. On May 3rd someone killed her, I didn't find out till May 8th and it felt like the world had come crashing down around. I screamed until I couldn't anymore, I didn't and couldn't eat for days or sleep, most of my time was spent wondering around and crying. I'm better now remember our time together and how much fun we used to have. Climbing the crab-apple trees together and exploring the woods near my house as teens.
As one person already wrote on here. Death leaves a scar no one can heal but love can never be taken away from you.