Smartie, Always In My Heart

[-PiggyPrincess-]

This may seem a little soon to be posting this. But I am the type of person who likes to express how she feels.
My beloved Piggie Smartie passed away. I found him a couple of hours ago in his hidey. I went to top up their food and give them some veggie and Rolo was wheeking away. I noticed it wasn't a normal wheek and wondered why Smartie wasn't joining in. I looked round the cage and thought something seemed odd. So I checked under the hidey & there he was, lying cold and still.
It feels so surreal. I really don't know how to describe how im feeling right now. As my friends and family will know, I love animals and my pets are like children almost, they are my life, my babies. I feel like a part of me is missing and I wish I could have done something about it. He hasn't been ill or unhappy, no symptoms of anything. I don't neglect my pets, I take proper care of them, I research all the time, buy the right things. Give love and affection. But no matter, I still feel like it's my fault. Deep down I know it's not, yet there is still something there telling me it is.
My mum said she believes it could have been an unexpected heart attack. My dad said it could have just been his time to go. But he is only three. The only other thing I could think of, is that he could have had a fall whilst I have been out and the fall could have done it.
I don't really want to think about it too much.

Smartie I love you. May you rest in peace. Sleep well baby.
You have made the past three years such a wonderful, amazing time. I loved the way you licked my fingers after I cuddled you, like a sign of appreciation. The way you would wheek at me as I walked by. The way you nibbled your veggies, making your cute chewing noises. The way you would do extra pop corns when you were on the grass in your run. The way you were so gentle and mild, even when Rolo showed his dominance. I could write about all your habbits and querks (sorry for any spelling mistakes) forever but I shall just highlight the main few which I loved so dearly. You will never be forgotton little guy. You mean the world to me. Others may think your just a guinea pig or a little pet, but to me, you are everything. My baby, my georgous little boy. May you be playing happily with other piggy friends, looking down, gaurding Rolo. I hope I have done all the best for you angel. You deserve only the best.

Sweet dreams baby, sleep well.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[5guinea5pig5]

R.I.P. Smartie. -PiggyPrincess-, It's not you're fault. Losing a loved one is always hard. Whenever a pet of my died I used to always blame myself. Then I realized it just made me more deppressed and did no good.

[Tserisa]

If at all possible, I'd suggest a necropsy, to make sure that whatever killed your piggie isn't going to affect the other one, because of the sudden and unexpected nature. I'm so sorry.

[PixieStix]

I'm sorry. A necropsy is the only way to find out for sure what happened.

[BubuCandyBlue]

I am so sorry for your loss, RIP Smartie.

[Shadows_Gold]

I feel for you, I know how it feels to lose something you love so much.

[pigsmakemesmile]

piggyprincess, I feel your loss and share your feelings you describe for the love of your friend. I too lost one of the joys of my life this past August, like one of my children and I too blame myself. Chubbs was happily about in his cage with a pending vet appointment later that day. I took him in to have an abscess removed not knowing that at the end of the day, I would witness chubbs last moments. He didn't do well from the anesthesia and his lungs totally filled up with fluid. I won't go into details because it makes me cry. This is my first christmas without him and I've been tortoring myself looking at his beautiful pictures. I realize now I gave him a good life such as you and maybe he didn't know but he was so deeply loved such as you loved your little friend. It sounds he lived a good life and he wasn't alone when he passed. I held Chubbs' paw and kissed him the moment he passed as I refused to leave him alone in a cage in an unfamiliar place at the hospital. Those memories will live on as long as I live. You have been blessed to have had the opportunity to care for him and he was so lucky to have you. I know this. Blaming ourselves is a normal feeling because we felt we should have done more or didn't do enough.I found blaming myself only made my feeling of loss worse. I have pigs approaching the 3 year mark and are aware that they may or may not go past 3. I told my husband the other day that when my piggies pass on I'm not adopting more because it's just too painful to loose my buddies. I cherish everymoment with them.
Before I buried Chubb's, I took some clippings of his fur and toenails and wrapped them then placed him on the last towel he laid on...this my little memorial to him so I have something tangible to touch and feel to always remind of this beautiful pig.
God bless you and hang in there, it took me a long time to get over that strong sense of loss and it will pass, however that feeling of missing him will linger. Missing Chubb's helps keep him alive in my memory and in my heart as well as his pictures. Yes, he may have been a guinea pig, and as I tell others, he was a living being who I adored and respected...an animal friend that I loved and enjoyed.
I'm so sorry for your loss, hang in there
love
Lynne

[-PiggyPrincess-]

Thank you so much to everyone who has posted back. It feels better knowing that others go through this painful process and can empathsize. Im slowly managing, but it is hard.
Thank you all.