Positive-reward based dog-training method....my own mother doesn't get it, or more...

[sophistacavy]

....like won't get it. I don't know what to do here. Maybe she needs counseling? Here's my situation:

We have a little 12-lb female shih-tzu. If you have ever had a shih-tzu, you know that they retain their puppy-hood characteristics throughout much of their lifetime. Lexie is only 1 year 5 or 6 months old. My mom screams, not just yells, at her when she steals this "corner protector" thing (one of those fuzzy plush green things meant for caged birds to cuddle up to, but our parrots don't use it, so my mom put it between the corner edge of the metal seed skirt of one of the cages so it doesn't hurt the couch which is right there), as if Lexie were instead dragging a dead squirrel inside and bloodying it all over some million dollar snow white mohair carpet. I'm so serious. And when/if Lexie does it again, my mom will hit her. Not slap, hit. Plus she still screams her bloody head off at her. Temper temper, geese lemme tell ya. Same thing happens when Lexie gets on the couch and "digs". Except just a few minutes ago Lexie was almost what I would call "kicked" off the couch.

I am of no use right now. You might be wondering why I'm not trying the positive-reinforcement based training with Lexie, who already graduated Puppy Class (duh) and Intermediate Training Class, both taught only in this way. Its because if I did, my mom would still do that stuff. So there isn't any point in my even trying.

I tell her everything I know, which is alot, from The Whole Dog Journal and beyond. I tell her things about the piggies that I get from here, and she says "I don't know about those people you talk to on that guinea-pig website of yours" and "Maybe they don't know everything they think they know, vets know better". I tell her you can really teach dogs awful things by physical abuse of any degree.

Isn't she overreacting? I'm not a partucularly hard-to-ignite person, and I think she is 100% over-reacting, so that goes to say something. Lexie never makes me that upset.

I'm just shy of being a legal "adult" (whatever that means nowadays L0L), and so not old enough to move out and take my mini-zoo with me, including Lexie & piggies. I don't think I would if I could....idk.

What should/can I do? Do you think this is almost borderline animal abuse? I am the type of kid who would get parents in trouble with the law, but only b/c I love them so much and only want to help them.

I don't even know what goes on when I'm at school all day. I wish we could take Lexie to a doggie-daycare when mom has to be away for a few hours, but I don't think we can afford that, time wise or money wise. More so time-wise.

[PixieStix]

Yes, I do think this IS animal abuse. Hitting (from the sounds of it, hard) and kicking are definately physical abuse, and should NEVER be used in training.

Firstoff- You say you won't do any positive reinforcement training with Lexie because your mom will still yell. If you teach Lexie through positive, kind methods, then presumably the undesireable behaviors will stop. Therefore, your mom will not have reason to scream and slap her.

What about printing off sheets from the internet? Buying a good book on good training methods? It may be more convincing if she has facts in front of her instead of being repeated from a possibly unreliable source (I'm not saying you do get info from unreliable sources, but she may believe so).

Is she using the fuzzy thing as a toy? Especially since she's puppy like, do you have plenty of safe dog toys for her to use as an alternative?

My little dog 'digs' on beds and couches. He does this before rubbing his scent onto the surface or to make a blanket a more comfortable shape. This isn't a huge concern, but he does have his own blankets he can lie on top of for the couches. He actually prefers to sleep on a warm blanket and he likes to dig and rumple it more. Maybe give her a blanket to sit on while on the couch?

One more thing- if you are considering doggie daycare for Lexie, how is it too much time? I think it may actually save you time in the long run- she'd presumably get walks and playtime, tiring her out. If she's already tuckered out from playing all day, she may not want to chew and play with things you don't want her to.

[5guinea5pig5]

Your mom said that a vet knows better then us (even though some don't :P). So you could call your dog's vet and tell him/her what your mom's doing and have the vet explain that what she's doing won't help and possibly make it worse.

[guineapigluver1]

Hitting and kicking is abuse (I would like to know why some people think it helps), and won't get her anywhere with the dog. Have you tried getting your mom a training dvd? I know of 3 that are really great in training, no matter the age.
I agree with what PixieStix said about doggie day care.

[dra&pigs]

Hitting (hard) and kicking are both considered animal abuse, and should never be considered a training method. A dog is much more apt to learn when they get treats for things they do right than pain for what they do wrong. Quite often the dog doesn't even know what they are doing wrong, and I've seen dogs completely lose their personalities from being abused. I would show her this thread, as well as sheets from the Internet. Would she allow a trial basis? Perhaps if you showed her the positive reward method, for say, a month, and taught the dog not to steal the cushion-thing (however, I don't think that can be completely cured, because Lexie is still a puppy) and some other things she doesn't know, your mother will take to it, simply because it works.

[sophistacavy]

Hi again, I just wanted to say thank you to everyone and that I need to clear up a few things.

1st of all, I'm sure most everyone can understand how excited they get when something or somebody ticks you off just enough. That was me last night. We all tend to get a bit carried away sometimes, and I sort of unconciously didn't realise I was making the whole "hitting and kicking" part sound so bad. I'm just going through the typical teenage-almost-"adult" daughter and mom clash phase.
The truth is that my mom does yell kinda loud, but she only slaps Lexie like you might slap a horse or cow. She also just pushed Lexie off the couch with her feet, a little more forcibly than I would've, but not a kick.

I failed to mention that the only kind of training I do with Lexie is the positive-reinforcement kind. I believe any other method is wrong, and its not my opinion, its a fact. There is no other way to train a dog. My mom does the same with her, and believes in all the same things, but I'm really the only one who works with Lexie. She's not a bad-behaved dog, and I've seen some abhorent situations on that Animal Planet show "It's Me or the Dog!". If you've ever watched that before, you know what I mean: some of those dogs on there are like little demons, and its sad because the real fault is the ignorant owners. Its still amusing to see Victoria get fed-up with them, if only b/c I can sympathise with her. I don't care, and in truth it does not matter whether you have a "bully breed" or a "toy breed" dog, all dogs must be trained using positive reinforcement. Inside, all dogs are the same, just like us humans who may look and act different depending on our culture, ethnicity, etc.

Its ok now you guys. Lexie is sort of like a child and a best friend to me at the same time, even though I'm only that certain unmentionable age where having a child would be, uh, gross. My mom is just a little bit old-school, but she understands that thats considered and proven to be the wrong way. But it seriously was just a slap, and maybe a shove with her foot.

I'll try the blanket thing! Thats a great idea, Lexie will love that! L0L, she must be rubbing her scent too, because she rubs her face all over, and makes tasmanian-devil like noises while digging and turning around and around, like she's having a coniption..it's SO adorable, you have to see it to beileve how hilarious and cute it is, kinda like when our piggies go bonkers and run the Preakness around their cage, while popcorning and twisting in the air!

[starshine123102]

If you want positive reinforcement to work you AND your mom need to use it. I would do a google search for B.F. Skinner's considering he is the guy who did all thi stuff with positive/negative reinforcement. And you might want to tell your mother that even the TOP psychologist in the behavioral psychology world says that PUNISHMENt DOES NOT WORK, and positive/negative reinforcement does.

Sorry, psycholgy major at work here.