Argh! This is driving me crazy!

[Res Judicata]

I started a new job about three weeks ago and am learning a lot about my new co-worker. I'm in daycare (ugh), which means I'm stuck in a roomful of 3 and 4 year olds with only a couple of other teachers. It wouldn't pose a problem at all if I hadn't found out that one of the teachers is a dog breeder, and talks about it constantly. On one hand, I'm very opinionated and would like to express my views on breeding animals and why I'm uncomfortable with her talking about it all the time. On the other hand, I have to share a room with her for 8 hours a day, and making enemies when you're stuck in a room with them is Not A Good Thing. Been there, done that.

I so want to say something, but wonder if I should bide my time. I'm only there until December. How would you broach the subject with her? She seems nice otherwise, but nice people can have charactistics other don't care for. I'm just trying my best to keep my mouth shut until I can come up with some ways of being tactful about it. That's hard for us law students. Any suggestions?

[zambonigirl]

I would say that if she's just yammering about it, to ignore her, but if she outright asks for your opinion, just state in a very nice manner that you are pro-rescue and against breeding, and that you probably aren't the best person for her to discuss those issues with. She'll probably react in a very negative fashion, which is why I think it's best to hold off for as long as possible.

[cookie_gal]

I'd say leave it, you've seen on here how heated the discussions can get, so it is certainly not a good idea in the workplace. I'm sure you have a family to support etc so you cannot afford to loose the job and no-one wants to work in bad atmosphere's. If she says anything directly to you just tactfully say your side but refuse to be drawn into an argument.

[Res Judicata]

You're both right; it's not worth causing friction at work over, even if it is a three month job. I really need the money to pay off those student loans until they go into deferrment in January. It's just so hard sometimes to busy myself with the children and listen to her yammer on about how uncomfortable her poor dog is. You bred her, stupid. What did you think was going to happen when those unborn puppies grew big?

[DaCourt]

If it gets worse, you could always say something to your boss. Just let he know how uncomfortable it makes you.

I have a problem with one of the mom's at my daughter's dance school. We are there A LOT right now. She is getting ready for het regional championships. I try to avoid this woman. She know I work with a rescue, but yet she feel sthe need to tell me how she used to breed guinea pigs. She has also mentione to me that she is thinking of doing it again for the kids. I tried to just ignore her, but the other day, she got me a a really bad moment. I finally told her..."Look, I work with a rescue. We are the ones who have to deal with all the back yard breeders who want their kids to experience the joys of birth. Please do not ask me for the name of a breeder to get pigs from. Do no ask me if our rescue has any pedigrees. And do not ask me for an adoption application."

[cookie_gal]

What an annoying woman, and how dare she not respect your views. She's either thick or trying to get you to bite.

[Lydia]

Originally Posted by DaCourt

I finally told her..."Look, I work with a rescue. We are the ones who have to deal with all the back yard breeders who want their kids to experience the joys of birth. Please do not ask me for the name of a breeder to get pigs from. Do no ask me if our rescue has any pedigrees. And do not ask me for an adoption application."

Good for you... that's ignorance for you, hey?

[diane]

I've seen this mentioned time and time again on this forum. Do people really breed any animal to show thier children the joy of birth? I had never heard that until this site. It just sounds like a crazy motive to breed any animal. Sorry this is off the original topic.

[purrrfect piggy]

yeah I would have just flat out told her that you didnt want to hear about it. You may have to work with her but she has to work with you too. Which means she needs t respect you as much as you are trying to respect her. And as I always say her krma willc atch up with her and she will be sorry. good luck love.

[spoonyspork]

I feel your pain, Res. I'm having this same problem, but the person in question is both a coworker and long-time friend. She seems to feel that because I allowed my stallion to cover a couple mares some years back, I'm automatically all gung-ho about breeding horses. The reality is, I know that it's a bit different when it comes to breeding with horses, as it's very hard to find 'what you really want' with horses unless you do it yourself, but it has to be a VERY special case for me to agree to it.

Anywho, this girl was given this mare who, granted, is VERY well bred (she isn't any particular breed, but is the last of a line of almost 200 years of very careful breeding for a specialized task on a now closed-down large farm... the result is pretty much a 'foundation-type' quarterhorse with a 'tiger pony' shuffle, though they aren't actually at all related to the quarterhorses we know today... more closely to an appaloosa)... but is, well... completely useless to the girl. This girl trains and shows hunter/jumpers and has her own, and has been talking about getting a new one for herself when she finally retires her guy, as he's getting on in age. What she wants is your basic 'warmblood' type - tall, strong, leggy, etc. I've given her all sorts of info on PMU babies she could look into adopting (almost ANY one of those babies would be PERFECT), send her links to rescues whenever they have a likely-looking one coming up for adoption... and what does she do? Decide she's going to breed her short, stocky, bull-headed, GAITED mare. Not only that, she's breeding her to a short, stocky, quarterhorse! With IMPRESSIVE bloodlines! Who's full siblings all have obvious defects (he was the only one who turned out 'perfect'... at least, visibly)! To top it off, I've known the mare for nearly 10 years, and know and have told this girl that she almost DIED both times she had a foal, and both times the foals had to be weaned before the age of three months because the stress of nursing was quite literally KILLING her, and that NO amount of diet changing helped. I mean, the mare was given to her BECAUSE the person who owned her was a breeder, and was trying to keep her bloodline going since they really were perfect cow ponies, and was actually SMART ENOUGH to know all he was going to gain by trying to breed her was a dead mare.

Grr! It just makes me so mad. She comes to my desk every day to talk about the mare, the stallion, what she's hoping for, when she's going to do it, etc, etc. The first few times I tried to drill into her head that the mare CAN NOT and SHOULD NOT be bred, but she insisted that she 'knows more' than her previous owner, and will make sure she gets 'proper diet and vet care' (nevermind the fact that because of the complications the first time, she was on CONSTANT vet monitoring, and put on a STRICT diet the second time, and the SAME THING still happened) this time. Then I started asking her what the heck she was going to DO with the resulting foal ('it will be my trail horse!' ... what the heck is wrong with the MARE you have as a PERFECT trail horse?!), how she was going to afford a third horse she couldn't use for 'work', especially after just having a baby of her own, why doesn't she look into adopting from one of the final bunches of PMU babies... or maybe one of the mares or stallions, since the program's being shut down... she just keeps making excuses. Now as soon as I see her coming I put on my headphones and play 'too busy to talk!'. I avoid going out to lunch with her now, and hanging out with her after work. I'm afraid the next time she brings it up, I'll wind up STRANGLING some sense into her or something! Grr!