so mad I could spit!

[spikeandkiller]

Ok, I know that this forum is primarily about guinea pigs, but I really need to vent about this!

When I turned 12 (ten years ago) my parents bought me a maltese puppy named Jake. He was always *MY* dog, but my step-dad took such a huge liking to him that I felt it was ok to leave him at home when I moved away. And now that I am out of college and living on my own, I found it was very difficult to find an apartment where I could keep him with me, so he is still living with my parents.

A couple months ago my mom called and gave me some bad news. Jake has throat cancer. I am obviously very upset about this, but I do realize that pets are not forever, no matter how well they are taken care of and how much they are loved. He is a very old dog and his time would come eventually.

Anyway-to get to the point. He can hardly breathe and he constantly coughs and gags. He can't even bark anymore and is obviously in alot of pain. I went home as soon as I could to spend what little time I figured I had with him. After I held him and gave him a bath and combed his hair (he is such a little priss, he loves it so much to be groomed) he was quickly tired and I put him to bed. I decided it was time to face the hard facts and talk to my mom about his cancer. She cannot afford to have him operated on, and because of his age the vets don't think it would be successful anyhow. This I can understand. The vet said the best idea would be to spend time, make him as comfortable as possible for about a week, say our goodbyes, then bring him back in to have him put to sleep.

After seeing his condition and how much pain he is in, I agree with the vet. BUT my step-dad won't hear of it. He insists that Jake has plenty of time and will be fine if we just keep him at home and let him die in time. I can't even stand to think about how my poor little baby feels! I asked my step-dad how he would feel if he couldn't breathe or talk normally. He tried to tell me that dogs don't feel things the same way people do. I was FURIOUS! I told him that if he doesn't have Jake put down humanely, that I was going steal him and have it done here where I live. He said if I did that he was going to call the police and have me arrested. My mom talked me out of taking the dog that time. I still want to go through with my plan, no matter how outrageous or "immature" it is. My dog is suffering in his last days 2 hours away from me, and I am the only one who wants to alleviate his pain.

I really don't know what to do... I love Jake and I wish he could live forever, but he can't and I don't want him to die in agony! Please help me!

[fairysari]

Maybe your step-dad could go with you to the vet. The vet could explain what he thinks, and your step-dad would be able to ask questions, and might be more likely to trust the opinion of an expert like a vet, especially if the vet will adress his specific concerns.

My thoughts are with you, it is really difficult. The mini schnauzer I got for my 8th birthday was diabetic for the last few years of his life, but I was lucky that when the time came (about 2 years ago), we all agreed it was most humane to put him down (he couldn't even stand up). My whole family went to the vet together, and it was really sad, but really good for us all to be there together.

[ccrunner]

I am so sorry. I am a dog lover too, and if my dog were having those complications, I would have him put to sleep. (Humanely of course.) How can your step-dad say such a thing? Dogs are just as sensitive as people. Think of how much pain the little guy is in? As you stated, the dog is yours, so you have the right to do what you want with him. If Jake dies on his own he will be in so much pain and you most likely won't be there since you live so far away. Wouldn't you want to be with your pal in his final moments? I agree that a vet should explain the procedure to your step-dad and answer his questions about it. Maybe he is afraid of losing him too soon.

[smartorl]

Sometimes with issues of death, some people just need a little more time to accept things. Your stepfather surely loves the dog, maybe he is just not ready to face the loss of him yet. Not to be mean, but the threat of stealing the dog was probably not going to do much more than cause an arguement, no person really likes to feel like they are being pushed. Maybe let it calm down and sit down and work on your mother first, and then the two of you present it calmly to him. Most men try so hard to cloak their emotions and it is often handled by simply ignoring the issue rather than give in to it. I wouldn't be surprised if you could chip past the surface if your step father didn't crumble emotionally. I am very sorry about your little dog. I know you are hurt as well. Have they looked into any pain management for him? There are quite a few herbal pain medications out there that can be purchased over the counter that could help to ease his pain while the family makes decisions.

[bunnyluv17]

Perhaps you could take your stepdad with you back to the same vet as someone else suggested, or take the dog (and stepdad) to another vet for a second opinion. That way your stepdad could see that with two experts agreeing on humane euthanasia, it is the best option for your dog. It sounds like the dog is really suffering, but maybe if your stepdad really needs a couple more days and if the vet thinks it's ok, then maybe he could be put on medication to ease his breathing and pain. At least until your stepdad is ready to say goodbye.

I know this must be very difficult for you, and I hope everything works out for the best. You have my sympathies.