Adoptions... does it end with animals?

[Zeander]

Hello. I'm hesitant to ask this question as I feel that it will cause some debate. However, this is the kitchen. So if a mod reads this thread and decides that it is inappropriate for this forum I will understand. I do not mean to upset or offend anyone. On to my question...

The vast majority of posters here are pro-adoption when it comes to animals. Why breed them when there are so many that need a home? So, does it end there? What about the children that need homes? Do they deserve a home just as much as the dog at the shelter does?

I'm curious as to the responses this will get.

[WEAVER]

Let me make sure I understand this correctly--Are you asking why should humans not have their own children because there are some in foster care needing homes?? Please tell me I misunderstood your thread

[Inrun]

Well...

I'm adopted, and proud to be adopted. I'll adopt children because A) I don't want to contribute to an overpopulated world (and i'm more then willing to take children from overseas, a child is a child, a person a person, etc etc) and B) I have a heart condition and I don't feel and my cardiologist would agree that pregnancy may not be the best option for me.
But even before we finally had a sit down discussion about the whole... heart condition thing, I was going to adopt. There are a lot of children in the system. And I was a lucky one. I was adopted to a family who was willing to take on the fact that I do have a heart condition. A lot of families... unfortunately would not have been so compassionate. Same holds true to the fact that my older brother has dyslexia and a severe learning disability. My parents should be commended.
But thats just my rather neutral view on things.

[Mrs.Tiggywinkle]

Here is a site that refutes the overpopulation myth.
http://www.ncpa.org/pd/pdint21.html


I am also adopted. However, I am very thankful to have children of my own. However, I do agree with adopting animals from shelters. And, of course, I encourage adoption of children, especially older or special needs children or children in desperate situations in other countries.

[Inrun]

Overpopulation is not a myth. Sustainability in the population is not a myth. We are not at a sustainable population currently. Technically we should be considering how much food is produced, but the fact that food does not reach every mouth on this earth is what the problem really is. If we were to distribute food evenly to everyone on this planet, then the sustainability of the population would not be at stake. However this is not the case.
If people, adult or children are starving, and there are concentrated areas in the world sadly where there are considerably more people starving then in other parts of the world, technically it is an unsustainable society because the area where they currently are cannot supply for them; which is technically overpopulation.

[Zeander]

Weaver, you pretty much got it right. I was just curious how people felt about human adoptions compared to animal adoptions. I am not asking "why should humans not have their own children because there are some in foster care needing homes". I just want to see what people think.

[Access]

Another thing to consider, at least it is in the US modern day, the adoption process is very costly, time consuming, and an ordeal that most people do not wish to go through. I know people who adopt children from other countries because while it is more costly in the short term ($20K), there is less beurocracy to go through and no chance the adopted child will have to be returned once the process is complete. Whereas when I adopt a pet, the process can be complete in a matter of an hour or less. Locally, there are many people who otherwise would adopt but are turned off by the system itself. That system needs to be streamlined so that children who need homes can get into them (as quickly as possible) and so that adoptive parents don't become frustrated and give up, or never begin the process to begin with.

The world may not be overpopulated in terms of food resources; the earth alone could accomadate upwards of 26 billion people or more. It's more the pollution, damage to the environment, and quality of life issues that matter.

[WEAVER]

Ok. . .I thought I understood the question, but just wanted to make sure . Here is my take on this topic . I personally have two friends that are adopted and my mom ran a daycare program while staying home with my sister and I when we were young. I know it is possible to love another child very dearly, but I also believe there is nothing like having your own. I remember taking pregnancy test after test and waiting with my husband to see if there was "one line or two", the first trip to the doctors him saying "yes, you are pregnant", seeing the baby the first time on the ultrasound, hearing the heartbeat, feeling the baby move inside, and the wonderful and awful experience of childbirth. All of those things are honestly my most cherished memories. Now that my kids are getting older, they are still a joy (at times) , but things change, they change, we change, it is different than adopting an animal. Let me explain. .. a animal loves you unconditionally, a animal knows everything you do for them, they sleep with you, depend on you and yet never take you for granted, and everything you do is "just perfect". No one is ever more glad to see me walk in the door than my animals. My animals very rarely stress me out, upset me, or want me to feel that way, the kids on the other hand have made it their job . Let me sum it up this way, I have adopted all my animals and never thought twice and am always thinking--"could I take in one more", the kids I am always thinking "two is perfect, a girl and boy what more could I ask for". Just a thought, and know it is off the title but something else to think about.

[Inrun]

I know it is possible to love another child very dearly, but I also believe there is nothing like having your own.

I have to take a bit of offence to that. My parents are my parents. They love me unconditionally, they'd love any child either theirs or not theirs unconditionally, and maybe that just says something for them. My brother and I are what my parents got. They love us. We are theirs. I don't know exactly what you mean by "there is nothing like having your own". So we skipped them out on the ultrasounds, and the birth, and the swollen ankles, and the morning sickness, we are still their children. And that will never change.

[EllieMom]

I love my children more than life itself. And, while I gave birth to both of them, the nine months of pregnancy seems like such a miniscule part of my own parenting odyssey. How they became my children is pretty much immaterial. In my mind, an adopted child is a parent's child—as much as and no more than any other child.

[BabyGrl]

I also think there is nothing like having your own child. Having in the sense of being pregnant and experiencing that aspect. I am glad that I had the opportunity to experience it. Some people may not be so lucky. But I don't think going through pregnancy makes you love your child more than you would if you adopted one. Just because someone did not have the experience of being pregnant does not mean that they would love their adopted child any less. Your children are YOUR children and you love them regardless of whose loins they came from.

[WEAVER]

I think you all misunderstood what I was trying to say. I am not trying to say you can not love another child, nor and I trying to say I only love mine because I gave birth to them. You grow to love your children and do that more with every experience.

For myself, being pregnant with both of my kids was unlike one many of you have had to ever experience. I was on bedrest with both of my kids for basically the whole time. I was bleeding very badly and was only able to take it one day at a time. Every hurtle I accomplished was one step closer to holding them in my arms. Maybe this is why I explained myself the way that I did, I am not sure.

When my daughter was born I knew I wanted to have another child. My husband though was afriad and knew how scary it was to go through it again and so we talked about adopting another baby. For myself, (I know everyone does not feel this way), I did not want to go through the adoption process. I know many times it works out for many families, but many times it does'nt all for different reasons. I did not want to go through the possibility of the mom or dad wanting "their" child back or having visitation. I did not want to someday have a second child and than only have my daughter and try to explain that to her. There are many reasons that I felt this was not going to work for me and with all those doubts I thought it would be in the best interest for everyone not to go through with it. So two years later I got pregnant with my son and when through the whole bedrest thing again.

I do not want to offend anyone, and we all should take into consideration one anothers opinion. We all of our own reasons for feeling the way we do and I think it is wonderful that there are ways for families to expand their family and take children into their homes and make them part of their family.

Inrun---please do not take offence. In no way was I trying to be hurtful to you.

[CavySpirit]

You are right. This topic is inappropriate for this forum. I would appreciate it if you all would voluntarily conclude your posts so I don't have to be the big bad meanie and close it.

And believe me, I have very personal experience on this subject that I would love to talk about, but the issues are just not related in substance.

This thread will be closed shortly.

[SkinnyPiggys]

Originally Posted by Inrun

I know it is possible to love another child very dearly, but I also believe there is nothing like having your own.

I have to take a bit of offence to that. My parents are my parents. They love me unconditionally, they'd love any child either theirs or not theirs unconditionally, and maybe that just says something for them. My brother and I are what my parents got. They love us. We are theirs. I don't know exactly what you mean by "there is nothing like having your own". So we skipped them out on the ultrasounds, and the birth, and the swollen ankles, and the morning sickness, we are still their children. And that will never change.

Ditto!

[Inrun]

Weaver -- Allright. I see now what you were saying was specific to you and not to everyone. It's... a highly touchy subject though. Obviously in my case, my biological parents so called "did not want me" (as I know now, my father still doesn't know I exist, and my mother gave me up willingly to a better home because she could not have coped with me as a child (not even related to the fact that I have a heart condition)). She gave me up because she probably did love me enough to understand that she couldn't take care of a child.
I am looking for my biological mother (stalled, due to changes going on in the system), but it would be interesting to actually meet her. I'm 6'0, I know she's 5'6, and my father was only 5'10. She and I share interests, and hobbies, and we do have a quick temper (says so on my adoption papers). But despite my interest in meeting her (I just want to know if I look like her, honest to Bob, thats all I want to know), my parents are still my parents. They raised me, they took care of my cuts and bruises, they're who I turn too. They're my family. And i'd never think of it any other way.
Sorry for sparking controversy and my rather snarlish response. It just... hurt a bit to read and obviously misunderstand what you were trying to say.