I am in need of ideas to totally kid-proof - Page 3

**Ly&Pigs** · #41 02-16-05, 11:11 pm

*Light bulb goes off over head*

Quote:

They wouldn't take apart the cage to be hurting the pigs. They'd be taking it apart to see HOW the cage works.

Here is one idea that just hit me by what you said. Why not let the kids help build the C&C cage and that way they understand beforehand how it works. Let them sit inside it like they were a piggie and they will see it from the piggies perspective. I don't know if you have built the cage yet, but if you haven't this might help.

I know what it is like to have a child with severe ADHD among other disabilities. He used to get into the fridge in the middle of the night or early morning. Many a time, I woke up to a dozen eggs all broken in the floor or milk/juice spilled everywhere, cereal boxes torn open and cereal everywhere, just to name some things he did. We were always on our toes wondering what he would do next. Did this mean my kid was bad, no. Did this mean I was a bad parent, no. We just had to learn ways to deal with his behaviors.

**dansamy** · #42 02-16-05, 11:58 pm

Oh my god! Ly, I love your idea. It's such a stroke of genius I could kiss you for it! (Now, why didn't I think of it?!?!?)

I don't think my kids are ADHD. I hope they're not. I don't think they have attention problems. I think they simply have high curiosity levels coupled with the effervescent energy of youth. We just need a place to put the curiosity and energy to work.

**Ly&Pigs** · #43 02-17-05, 12:03 am

I dunno. But I want my kiss! *Twists my head and exposes my cheek.*

Someone was talking about one or more of their kids having ADHD, that's why I mentioned it.

**DaCourt** · #44 02-17-05, 10:39 am

dansamy - I never said your kids were terrors. I already answered this. I was responding to guineagurl who said HER kids were terrors. Right there on page two, she said she would be the first to admit they are terrors. So, please do not make assumptions about my opinion about your kids.

In general, and I am NOT speaking about anyone in particular, I think children are not held accountable for their actions, no matter how big or small. My niece is one of them. When they were visiting, she broke into my daughter's room. She actually destroyed the lock and the door jam. What was her punishment? All she had to do was say she was sorry. I had to pay for a new lock. I had to pay to repair the door jam. Oh, the reason the door was always locked...was because would take all the toys out and not put them back, and she stole $20 from my daughter. the apology my daughter got was, "I didn't do it but my mom said I have to say sorry." So, this child has figured out to get around locked doors. What is next for her? If she is not taught that their are consequences for her actions, it is only going to get worse. My sister thinks I am too hard on my daughter. My daughter is not a thief like hers.

I am just saying, don't give up. There is something out there that will work for you. I can't say what it is. Once you find it, it may change in 6 months. I am constantly changing because she is changing. For a while, it was take things away from her. That worked great. Then one day it didn't. Well, at that time, she liked working on the computer. So we started rewarding good behavior with vouchers in 15 and 30 increments. She could redeam these for computer time. This worked great for about a year. We used popcycle sticks in different colors to represent each time limit. Now, she is into money. So she has a chore chart. There are 10 things on their. Each job has a different value. So, if she does it, she gets paid. One of the chores is clean her room. If she doesn't clean her room, not only does she not get paid, but the rule in our house is, if your room is not clean, no guests. It doesn't have to be spotless, but it does have to be neat.

Get creative. I hope it all works out.

**dansamy** · #45 02-17-05, 02:53 pm

Quote:

I had to pay for a new lock. I had to pay to repair the door jam.

Oh, I'd be seething! Anytime my kids have broken something that didn't belong to them, they paid for it, in one fashion or another. Usually, since they are small, I ponied up the cash & they "earned" it by doing serious chores, usually of the floor-scrubbing variety. For some reason, my 3 hate floor scrubbing. That is our most effective punitive chore right now. Standing in the corner quit working as punishment a looooong time ago. Sorting laundry isn't a chore to them, it's "fun"!

**guineagurl** · #46 02-17-05, 03:34 pm

I dont think it's very nice of you to call your neice a thief, a one time event dosent warrant a label like that. Call her one and she may well become one.
But then I should listen to what I just said as mine might become BIG terrors!

But I've only ever said that as "you ratbag" they know I'm just mucking around.

**DaCourt** · #47 02-17-05, 04:44 pm

This was by no means a one time event. It was just one example.Here is a short list: $20 from my daughter, $50 from my mom, $5 from my daughter's friend, a pair of my earings, & my daughter's ring. There has been other small stuff as well. She has been caught is more lies than I can even remember. The ruined my mom's couch, by tracing the pattern in permanant black marker. We have hook locks on the out sides of the doors that have a balcony, so my sister or I are out of town or something, my mom can lock the doors from the inside. Well, my niece decided to lock them while my other sister was still asleep. Then they left to the beach and my sister was locked in her room. She had to yell down to a neighbor, to call me at work, so I could come let her out. And, it was blamed on my daughter who was not even there. All this, and she only visits for one week a year. So, yes...I will say it again, she is a thief and a terror.

Poohbear · #48 02-17-05, 04:58 pm

eek DaCourt, I hope her behavior improves or she could get into some serious trouble when she is older.

**dansamy** · #49 02-17-05, 06:33 pm

Her behavior will not improve because she doesn't have a parent. She has an incubator who is trying to be her friend instead. DaCourt, your siser is neglectful in that she is not providing her child with discipline in order to teach her how to become a responsible person.

**lindsey's boys** · #50 02-17-05, 06:46 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by dansamy

Her behavior will not improve because she doesn't have a parent. She has an incubator who is trying to be her friend instead. DaCourt, your siser is neglectful in that she is not providing her child with discipline in order to teach her how to become a responsible person.

How can she discipline her if she is locked in a room? The kid sounds like she is being discipline, she probably just doesn't listen.

**guineagurl** · #51 02-17-05, 07:22 pm

What exact disipline are you saying shes lacking?

I know stealing is not a good thing, but does a few things in a kids childhood warrant the theif title, and I'm sure you probally don't call her it all the time but how awful that the adults cant let it go ..if she's told shes naughty , why should she try to be good?

**dansamy** · #52 02-17-05, 07:40 pm

Her mother only required her to apologize for breaking into DaCourt's daughter's room. The reason DaCourt's daughter's room was locked during the neice's visit was because she had previously been disrespectful of her cousin's belongings. And she got away with "I didn't do it. But my mom said I had to say I'm sorry." She wasn't required to make reparations for the damage she did. And it doesn't sound like the child is locked in a room. It sounds like she locked someone else in a room, requiring a phone call to DaCourt to come rescue the victim.

**tenn38** · #53 02-20-05, 08:47 pm

Ok now, I think the idea about letting them see you build it would work best. It's sort of like painting the fence in Tom Sawyer: If they're not figuring it out, they'll want to... but once they know how it's done it won't look so amazingly fun anymore. Maybe try walking aimlessly around your local hardware store (like most women do ;-)), until you find something that looks like it'll do the job.

Goodluck.

**guineagurl** · #54 02-20-05, 08:53 pm

(like most women do ;-)

Speak for yourself :-) *laughing*

**tenn38** · #55 02-20-05, 09:18 pm

Yeah I went with my dad to look at tools, and of course I wasn't buying anything... but you look around and see all these other girls just walking around looking very confused. *laugh*

**guineagurl** · #56 02-20-05, 09:55 pm

Isn't that what they have sales staff for?
Who has time to stand around looking.. ask them to help find it for you!

**DaCourt** · #57 02-22-05, 11:25 am

Dansamy, you have it right. She was the one locking others in their room.

Guineagurl, I don't get you. What do you mean if parents can't let it go? I honestly blame my sister more than anything. She has no follow through, and dimisses everything. However, this child is heading down a bad path. My mother tried to talk to her when she was mad she was not allowed in my daughter's room. She told her, "You are a good girl, who is smart and beautiful inside and out. However, some of your actions don't allow that to show. You have not given (my daughter) the chance to trust you, because every time you come here, you have either broken her things, or stolen from her. We want to trust you, but you make it hard." Her response was, "Oh Grandma, you're so funny." And walked off to complain to her mom. This child has no respect for anyone because she has not be taught respect.

Judging by your comments, I can see why you are having issues with your own and have stated that your kids are terrors (your words.) A childs needs to be told when they have been naughty. If they aren't how are they going to learn how tro behave properly. However, it needs to be stressed that the action was naughty, and not the person.

Have I ever told my niece she is a thief? No. Do I think she is one? YES!

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