Life's Truths

[Peaches]

[font=Courier New]LIFE'S TRUTHS [/font]

[font=Courier New]I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.[/font]

[font=Courier New]Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.[/font]

[font=Courier New]The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.[/font]

[font=Courier New]Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.[/font]

[font=Courier New]There are two kinds of pedestrians -- the quick and the dead.[/font]

[font=Courier New]Life is sexually transmitted.[/font]

[font=Courier New]An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.[/font]

[font=Courier New]If quitters never win and winners never quit, then who is the fool who said: "Quit while you're ahead?"[/font]

[font=Courier New]Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.[/font]

[font=Courier New]The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.[/font]

[font=Courier New]Always get the last word in: Apologize.[/font]

[font=Courier New]Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.[/font]

[font=Courier New]Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs[/font]

[font=Courier New]Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.[/font]

[font=Courier New]Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?[/font]

[font=Courier New]Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.[/font]

[font=Courier New]All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.[/font]

[font=Courier New]Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?[/font]

[font=Courier New]In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.[/font]

[font=Courier New]Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.[/font]

[font=Courier New]How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?[/font]

[font=Courier New]AND THE # 1 THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:[/font]

[font=Courier New]You read about all these terrorists --- most of them came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10 to 15 years. [/font]

[font=Courier New]Now, compare that to Blockbuster... You are two days late with a video and those people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration.[/font]

[LuvMyPiggers]

Oh my gosh! You've done it again peaches!