Anger and activism

[Biscuit]

Originally Posted by http://vegsource.com/jo/essays/fire.htm - Jo Stepaniak

There is an undercurrent of anger among many vegans and animal activists and, regrettably, it has become one of the central characteristics by which outsiders define us as a group. Our animosity has been contagious and highly damaging, both to the solidarity we need to realize our goals and to the tenacity required for us to hang in there. Furthermore, this negativity has acted as a repellent, warding off truly caring people who currently are involved, or might otherwise want to join us, but are deterred by the invisible wall of anger and resentment.

Does anyone feel this is true for themselves?

I usually find myself with an underlying anger and bitterness towards human society as a whole, which I am nonetheless part of. It certainly doesn't help turn people to my developing world-view, but I suppose I am afflicted by the oft mentioned defeatism in that regards. I rock wearily between finding the human race utterly hopeless and flights of pondering the pipe dream fantasy world of crappy sci-fi books I used to read under my blankets with a pen-light.

Anyway, just rambling.

[Ziggy&Herald]

Wow, you all really put perspective on things. You have really put a dent in my thought process. Towards the betterment of myself, I think.

[CF#5]

Billy Joel - "It's either sadness or euphoria."
Billy Joel - "I don't know why I go to extremes."

Originally Posted by Biscuit

Does anyone feel this is true for themselves?

I struggle with it every day. When I first stopped eating meat, it was very liberating. When I stopped eating eggs and milk years later, that was also very liberating. In each instance, the outrage returned after some time. Lately, the journey has been very interesting, but ultimately, it's not about the animals. It's about myself and how I deal with participating (albeit in as limited a way as possible) in a society that I despise for its ignorance, arrogance, and callousness. This is why I've been so influenced by Thoreau, but I'll write more on him in a minute.

I've always been very anti-government, anti-police, anti-authority since I was extremely young. On my more assimilated days, I could be considered a libertarian. On my more extreme days, I'm nothing short of an anarchist. I've never had much respect for the letter of the law, especially for laws that have obvious flaws.

Applying animal exploitation into this dynamic, it's easy to become extremely discouraged about society, because what's legal and what's moral often have nothing to do with each other, and in fact, are often contradictory. It's legal to kill animals, but it's illegal to smoke pot. It's legal to kill animals, but it's illegal to drive through a red light at 3AM when there's not another car within miles. Thus, it's understandable that I've drawn the conclusion that society has absolutely no moral authority whatsoever, and as a non-conformist, I'll follow the laws I choose to follow, and not follow the ones I don't like, and let the chips fall where they may. So far, I've avoided prison. I also have absolutely zero respect for anyone who goes into public service - this includes judges, politicians, lawyers (even those in private practice), lobbyists, and especially police and federal agents. By executing their duties, they're endorsing a horrendously flawed and corrupt system of government. This is why I don't vote. It doesn't matter who I vote for, and that's not to say my vote doesn't count. What I mean is that a vote for anyone is an endorsement for the election system, and I won't endorse it.

Getting back to Thoreau, he too didn't believe in government in any respect. And he abhorred hunting and loved animals. I once read somewhere on the internet that someone was confused as to why he's sometimes regarded as the father of the animal rights movement, but I've always understood it perfectly. If you go back to my posts from September (if you haven't already ) and read everything I posted about Thoreau, it might make a little more sense in this context.

All I can do within my power is to not cause any injustice and to remove my cooperation from injustice caused by others, which is exactly what Thoreau did. The one criticism I focused on most came from one of the many Amazon reviews on Civil Disobedience. It said, "Thoreau, as political philosophy, has certain problems. Moral anarchy and denial of the social contract is difficult to replace in civil society--Thoreau makes no more than the most vague references as to what could replace it, seeming to rely on the fact that his personal sense of justice is universal."

I don't have time to worry about that, because for me to accept the social contract is to silently approve of society's institutionalized injustices, and I'd have to violate my own moral codes to do it. I suspect many people who sense something is wrong but can't exactly pinpoint the problem or explain their perception use the social contract as a way to rationalize their own complicity with society's faults.

"The quiet conscience is an invention of the devil." -- Dr Albert Schweitzer

"You have just dined, and however scrupulously the slaughterhouse is concealed in the graceful distance of miles, there is complicity." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Watching Earthlings didn't really affect me while I was watching it, but the impact it had in the following hours and days was horrible. It made me hate this entire world more than ever. What right do I have to eat my vegan sausages and go to work and seemingly be almost sort of happy while such grave injustices are being committed on such a wide scale? It's a horrible feeling to know there's very little, if anything, I can do to prevent it from happening.

Ultimately, I had a dream the other night in which I confiscated a guinea pig who was being abused by one of my neighbors and his disgusting little children. This is the dream I posted about on that other thread when I said the thread was put there for me. They were in the back yard throwing the pig around like a ball. I demanded they give me the pig, and they wouldn't. Finally, one of them made a bad throw and the pig was able to get away. It seemed as if the pig just zoomed into my arms. As soon as I had him, I wouldn't let me go and I ran to my car, which was nearby. I drove north with the pig on my chest and lap for hours. The pig was terrified, and almost jumped out the window at one point, but I caught him and wouldn't let him go. I stopped at what seemed like a gas station convenience store and continued to hold the pig. Then I realized my neighbor was outside the store with a rifle or shotgun, and he shot into the store and wounded the pig. He was shot just above his rear left leg, but he was still very much alive and alert, although there was a massive amount of blood pouring out of the entry wound. I became more outraged than ever, and I went outside and starting yelling at my neighbor, "WHY DON'T YOU PICK ON SOMEBODY YOUR OWN SIZE?" "WHY DON'T YOU SHOOT ME TOO?" There were a lot of expletives thrown in for good measure. I was PISSED. So he started shooting foam and rubber bullets at me, and I was jumping to avoid them, but some of them were hitting me, and obviously not hurting me. Then finally, he put a real bullet in the rifle and shot me in the chest. I died, but I had no fear, and no regret. I did not wake up when I died. This was the first dream I've had in which I didn't wake up when I died. Usually, I wake up in fear just before the death in my dreams. But not this time. Immediately, the dream shifted and I was watching what seemed like one of those true crime story documentaries on CourTV, but there was no doubt, I was the subject of the program. They were talking about my death and its aftermath. There's something even more profound about my dream that I'm going to post later tonight, because I don't have enough time to frame it with the proper reference right now.

I've never been able to analyze a dream so easily before. My neighbor represented all of society. The pig represented all persecuted animals who are victims of speciesism. And the absence of my fear when dealing with my own death simply means I'm not afraid to die for what I believe in.

Also, the pig was not one of my pigs. He looked a little like one of my pigs, but he was definitely not my pig. He was just a random guinea pig, which I'm sure added to his fear when I was holding him in the car. If this had been one of my personal pigs, I think the interpretation of the dream would have to be completely different.

Ultimately, when I woke up, I decided to get another pig, whom I'm picking up on Friday. Then I'll have three females, and I'm likely going to add a neutered boar in a few weeks, for a total of four pigs. Without this dream, I'd probably not be adding any pigs to the pair I already have.

I don't know how long the euphoric feeling of defiance provided by this dream will last for me, but all I can do is ride the wave for as long as possible. Then I'll probably become angry and bitter again. But make no mistake, my disillusionment never ceases. It's only the anger and the bitterness that is sometimes fleeting.

As for how this can impact other people, I don't know how much I really agree or disagree with Jo Stepaniak. I think vegans' anger toward the established human world is more than justified. I also believe that many people are afraid to be woken up, and that a line from the Matrix, when taken slightly out of context, is extremely relevant to this struggle: "The Matrix is a system, Neo. That system is our enemy. But when you're inside, you look around, what do you see? Businessmen, teachers, lawyers, carpenters. The very minds of the people we are trying to save. But until we do, these people are still a part of that system and that makes them our enemy. You have to understand, most of these people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inured, so hopelessly dependent on the system, that they will fight to protect it." In other words, they'll fight to protect the status quo, because they fear the unknown.

What probably is very common is for a vegan to see something totally outrageous that is accepted by society, and the vegan will lash out at an individual, who was probably very unaware and unsuspecting of the impending verbal attack. When someone gets hit out of left field with a personal attack that they perceive was extreme (such as being told they're going to hell for eating meat or wearing fur) their reaction tends to be to tune out the person making the attack, as well as anyone whose positions are similar to that person. This is what Stepaniak is talking about when she says it's damaging. But with such a small percentage of the current population being vegan, and with population growth clearly outpacing the animal rights movement in converting believers, it's very clear that it's an uphill battle that's getting more and more difficult to fight at the grassroots level. If we work to convert 10 people to veganism this week, 100 carnivorous humans will be born, thus increasing the demand for animal flesh products.

The only answer is a collective spiritual awakening so vast and so extreme that the changes will inevitably happen very quickly - almost instantaneously. I simply don't believe the gradual approach is going to work. If I'm wrong, and it does work, it certainly won't happen within my lifetime.

July 2, 2017. Mark the date on your calendar.

[Biscuit]

AH! I'll have to read the giant text splorf (it has paragraphs and isn't freaking stupid so it doesn't qualify as a WOT - Wall of Text) once I've escaped cube world back to the Kay-cave and am safely buried in guinea pigs rather than inane workplace small talk.

That said, when someone asked me a few years ago what my auto biography would be called, I slighty jokingly spat out "Choking on the Blue Pill."

Oh now, you're interrupting my essential updates on dictionary 120 in IDX, the world of the hospital will fall apart! What happens on July 2nd 2017? Remember remember, the 2nd of...it doesn't rhyme. =(

[CF#5]

The fifth of November... LOL

Originally Posted by Biscuit

That said, when someone asked me a few years ago what my auto biography would be called, I slighty jokingly spat out "Choking on the Blue Pill."

Yep, you get it.

I'm on my way to cube world, which actually is a lot more fun and rewarding to me than I suspect the average person's cube world experience is for them. While I'm there, I will likely be able to expand a little on the dream with the proper background details. I have to search for stuff on the internet and I've been getting ready to leave for the last half hour.

[CF#5]

My father taught 9th grade regents biology during my entire 13 years in public school, and when I was taking bio in 9th grade with one of the teachers at my high school (not my father) we used to talk about how our entire universe could be the size of a speck of dust in another, much bigger universe. And every speck of dust we see on this planet could theoretically contain its own separate universe too. I guess these ideas are similar to the Matrix in the sense that they're all not too far from the realm of science fiction. But to fully make sense of my thoughts (that I'm going to describe soon) immediately after waking up from my dream, you have to understand where I'm coming from.

Also around that time, when I was in 9th grade, I saw the Twilight Zone episode called "The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street" for the first time.

The dialogue between the two martians who control the electricity at the end of the episode is damning, but Rod Serling's closing narration is the biggest indictment of human nature in this episode: The tools of conquest do not necessarily come with bombs and explosions and fallout. There are weapons that are simply thoughts, attitudes, prejudices to be found only in the minds of men. For the record, prejudices can kill, and suspicion can destroy, and the thoughtless, frightened search for a scapegoat has a fallout all of its own; for the children, and the children yet unborn. And the pity of it is that these things cannot be confined to The Twilight Zone.

It's not a far leap to compare the martians in the episode to what most people refer to as "God."

A few years later, South Park ran an episode called "Cancelled" that was loosely based on the same idea as The Truman Show, or at least shared some significant similarities. Earth was created by evil network executives for the entertainment of the masses. Here's a small clip from the dialogue:

Alien: We at Nerzod Productions started twenty billion years ago with one philosophy: the best universal television isn't scripted, it's real. [Stan and Kyle look at each other] We started with great shows like, "Who Wants To Marry A Gelgamek?" and "Antares 6 Millionaire". And then we had a big hit with "Get Me Outta Here, I'm a Klingnanian". But then of course, there's our signature show. The greatest universal reality show of all time. [he looks at a giant screen on which Earth is shown]
Kyle: Earth?
Alien: A few billion years ago we realized, "what if we took species from all different planets in the universe, and put them together, on the same planet?" Great TV, right? Asians, bears, ducks, Jews, deer and Hispanics, all trying to live side by side on one planet! It's great! [the boys are stunned at what they're hearing]
Stan: Our planet is just a reality-TV show?
Alien: Well, you don't think the whole universe works the way Earth does, do you? No! One species, one planet! There's a planet of deer, a planet of Asians, and so on! We put them all together on Earth and the whole universe tunes in to watch the fun!
Kyle: You mean that you aliens actually enjoy sitting around and watching us fight and kill each other? Dude, that's messed up.
Alien: Why?
Stan: Why?? Because you're playing with people's lives! You're turning people's problems into entertainment!
Cartman: Yeah! We'd never do that on Earth! [the boys just look at each other]

Obviously this was meant primarily to be a condemnation of reality television, but the animal rights thinker in me found much deeper meaning in it. The aliens who put all the different species together on earth were playing God, the same way the martians in the Twilight Zone were.

And all of this is relevant because of the thought that I had when I woke up from that dream in which I died. It was a moment of total authenticity on my part, because I had just woken up, and I wasn't talking to anyone. I was simply conversing silently with myself, so I had nothing to hide. I was thinking about using the phrase "God damn" and how religious people don't like using the "Lord's name in vain." I was also thinking about the controversy with Obama's pastor, and how he said "God damn America" in the now infamous sermon. And the only thought I had that was truly my own in that moment was, "DAMN GOD."

What Jo Stepaniak would call my "vegan anger" goes so deep into the depths of my soul that I literally hate God for creating the circumstances that allow all of this planet's travesties and injustices to take place. The lack of fear both before and after my death in my dream and my unabashed lack of shame in hating God in my thoughts after waking up only go to show how angry I really am. Thinking about and analyzing these thoughts immediately after I had them brought a smile to my face. Since animals supposedly aren't allowed into heaven, I don't want to go there. I listened to Highway to Hell by AC/DC, and there are two lines that I really love. The first one is early in the song - "Goin' down, party time, all my friends are gonna be there too! I'm on the highway to hell!" I'm definitely looking forward to seeing all my pigs again who have died after I die. And the other line is "Hey Mama, look at me, I'm on my way to the Promised Land!" After what I posted about my mother the other day, this definitely struck yet another chord. Like Billy Joel says in Only the Good Die Young, I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints.

I don't think I've ever been so emotionally, intellectually, or spiritually defiant as I was in that moment, and that's saying a lot. It was anger that led to a strangely liberating euphoria, after having been suffocated by all those horrible thoughts for about 10 days after watching Earthlings.

[CF#5]

Originally Posted by Ziggy&Herald

Towards the betterment of myself, I think.

That's the whole point of this spiritual journey that we're all on, some of us involuntarily.