Gossip

[Susan9608]

<sigh>

I'm currently at work with no one to vent to, so I thought I'd come here and vent. Gossip seems to be rampant in my unit. Last week, I was approached by a co-worker with gossip about a friend of mine. The gossip was absolutely ridiculous, and I informed this person that I would have to tell my friend what was being said about her. So toinght, I got to work with my friend, and I told her about the gossip. Naturally, her feelings are hurt, and she's very upset. She's also quite irritated with the person who started the gossip.

I feel terrible, not only for hurting her feelings by repeating this rumor, but also for contributing to the gossip, however inadventently. This feels like a very uncomfortable place to work now.

Do any of you encounter a lot of gossip where you work? How do you handle it?

[DaisyGP]

It's everywhere. It's like a disease. Women seem to gossip the most. That's why I only tell women things I don't care about everyone knowing.

[ilovemykisses]

Odd thing is.. around here, it's the men that gossip most, which is utterly ridiculous, being that gossip is such a feminine thing.

I'm so sorry for your friend. Don't be upset with yourself.. you were right in telling her. At least now she knows how catty those women truly are.

[ScottandDebbie]

Aw Susan,

Sorry you are having to deal with this *stuff*. And I am so sorry for your friend.

I would have done the same as you.
Now I just hope that your friend will go directly to the person who started the gossip and confront her. Hopefully things will be sorted out. It's far better for her to tackle it straight on rather than retaliation.

I hate working in a place where there is gossip flying all around the workplace.

Good Luck.

[Krysanthemum]

Susan, I think you did the right thing. It is better for her to know what is going on than have these things being said without her knowledge. And remember, she's not upset with you, she's upset with the person starting the gossip. You've been a good friend here.

[jdomans]

This very subject will play a huge roll in where I hope to work. When I graduate, I would much rather work in a Surgical Center than be one of thousands in a hospital and the OR is disease-ridden with gossip!

[zakfoxmom]

I have learned that no matter where you go and what you do there will always be gossip. It is in every workplace and if someone says it not, they are wrong.

[Susan9608]

Thanks, you guys, for the encouragement and support. It's hard to be the good friend, sometimes, even though I know I did the right thing.

It does seem that women gossip horribly, and since I work in an almost completely feminized industry (nursing), I feel like I can't escape it. The interesting thing in this case, though, is that the perpetrator of the gossip is a guy. Weird.

I guess I'll just try to stay out of it as much as possible. After this incident, I doubt too many people are going to be gossiping with me anyways, since I will always been known as the "one who told."

[futureguineamom]

I find men gossip just as much, and sometimes even more, than women do. Anyway, I find the best way to deal with Gossip is to just ignore it completely. All it does is creat false impressions and negativity within the whole work group, leading to an unsuccessful team of employees in the end. The best way to stop seems to be ignore it, and therefore you are not contributing. If more people did this, than only person would be spreading the gossip. It is unescessary (sp?) and immature. It can be difficult not to contribute sometimes, and it does happen. Usually if somebody starts talking trash I just walk away from them and get back to what I was doing. Good luck.

[smoot]

I love to gossip but I also think that it brings me bad karma (I'm a big believer in karma!) so I try my best not to get sucked into it. I really think there are two kinds of gossip:
1. The giddy kind where everyone gets all excited about things, for example who will get promoted to the new vacant position or where you think so-and-so will have her wedding, and
2. The malicious kind that hurts people's feelings.

I think the first type builds comeraderie in the workplace and is fun. The second type is just destructive. A good rule of thumb is if you'd be too embarrassed to say in front of the person you're talking about, you shouldn't say it.

Your post is so timely since this has been a problem at my workplace, too.

[zakfoxmom]

I, unfortunately, have to deal with the spiteful gossip. I work in a unit with 8 other women (3 attorneys, 3 paralegals, me, and two clerical assts.) and sometimes its not a pretty site. One specifically will go after you for no reason. She will say some really nasty stuff behind your back. I have learned that if I totally ignore her and the gossip, it will slowly fade. Last week we ended up adding another paralegal to the group, a man. In less then 3 days the nasty one was already trash talking him. Its terrible. I'm not touching that one with a 10 foot pole. I just do my job and keep to myself.

[Piglet]

Well, I go to a girls school so as you can imagine, there is a lot of gossip created daily. The most recent one is about a new friend of mine and it's absolutely awful. Although some parts are true, people have exaggerated it and now that whole school knows. She doesn't care though