[Susan9608]

The moderators try to deal with the people that are truly out of line with rudeness, hostility, immaturity, etc. Naturally, we don't - and can't - catch everything the instant it occurs, but we do the best we can.

There are some people who frequently make posts that are rude or hostile or immature, and I'm sure that there are people who "groan" about things that really aren't so bad. However, when people chastise them in response to those posts and admonish them to not be so "mean" or "rude" or whatever, the original poster becomes defensive and then the whole thing turns into a "You were mean" and "No I wasn't; *you* were mean!" situation.

Nothing at all gets accomplished when threads turn into a pissing contest that way. No one gets any assistance with their problem, because it's very hard to take people seriously when they are fighting about the maturity and politeness of other people's posts.

You can't change how other people behave - that's the bottom line. No amount of nagging or harassing or admonishing will make people be "nice" - it's more likely to make them even more rude, as they have to then defend themselves.

What you can change is how you respond to it. If someone is truly being out of line, then let one of the moderators know, rather than responding to it yourself. There are 5 of us, plus CavySpirit, so there is usually one of us always online and available. If you let us know, then we can deal with it and keep the fuss to a minimum.

About the groans - The groans are in place to allow people to express an opinion about the post without having to make a whole post expressing their displeasure. By simply groaning, it eliminates the need for someone to make a whole post to express their displeasure, and eliminates a lot of the possibility for people to be excessively rude. The moderators are not the groan police. If someone groans about your post and you don't like it, that sucks, but I suggest you just try to get over it and not get all worked up about it.